Here's a question: What gives her the cojones to believe she is entitled to change him? What kind of reaction could I- rightfully- expect were I to approach a girl I didn't wholly approve of, engage her in some social context, date her, and then finally- after weeks, months or even years of apparent approval and even flattery of her personality and conduct- try to change her? Perhaps- and I have to warn everyone that this is a damned revolutionary idea- perhaps, just maybe, people should avoid those who they think aren't suited for them rather than engage them all the more. Maybe- just hear me out here- if you think someone is totally wrong and in need of reformation, then perhaps you should move on and look for someone better suited to you.
I have wasted far more time trying to speak reason into people and trying to get them to change to my idea of prudence than I will ever spend in anything approaching happiness. (Don't misinterpret this as some emo thing, either; I merely distinguish between happiness (exceedingly rare) and contentedness (very common) in my life.) I have wasted so much time trying to change people who make themselves into human obstacles (and still do- I'm wasting my time posting this reply, aren't I?) that I sure as Hell am not about to waste time on a relationship
of my own choosing trying to sculpt a better partner when I could likely just as easily either (1) find another person far better suited to my eccentricities anyway or (2) make a different compromise of personalities instead or (3) forgo the process temporarily and postpone the quest for another indeterminate time. If it's a no-go as-is, then it's likely time better spent elsewhere. Time is scarce, after all, even if when you're in your twenties and in good health it may seems like the supply of oil circa 1900. Changing people is not impossible, but is is usually very difficult, and I do not want to become a Sisyphus to my giant-boulder girlfriend.
Women/girls are (socially) permitted to "change a man" even when superficially annoying behavior is the only issue, but I can all but guarantee that if a guy tried to "change a woman" then he would be facing a sea of condemnation for not allowing her to be herself or for being controlling, etc. Why? Can't we men go ahead and point out that a woman trying to change a man is an expression of control, the very sort of control that women incessantly (and I would say rightly) balk at when men attempt to exercise that same measure of control? I say, an even standard for all is the only just social standard. Either we can all try to socially engineer one another, or if nobody wants a controlling man then no one should want a controlling woman either. Fair enough?
This whole thread reminds me of a post by Maddox, specifically points numbers three and eleven:
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse....gi?u=26_things (The rest are lowly asinine humor, and don't apply here anyway.)
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