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Thread: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

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    Default My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Hallelujah is the word I sing today
    ‘Cause heavenly grace must be spread away
    My spirits will rise and be exalted
    For good actions should not be halted

    I feel in peace and I feel joy
    Keeping in mind this is no decoy
    And when the rough times arrive
    Against myself I’ll have to strive

    Day by day should I freely live
    The best of me trying to achieve
    Loving, helping, respecting, caring
    Since every soul needs some repairing

    The sallow day is soon ending
    And my own self still needs some mending
    But shall I not wonder and scatter
    This is the end, my very last drop of gray matter
    Last edited by OminousCloud; 12-05-2012 at 04:03 AM. Reason: animeyay's corrections :p


    "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
    "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge."


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  3. #2
    ~Neko Neko Neko~ KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls's Avatar
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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    T-T, I love it.

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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by KyouFalls View Post
    T-T, I love it.
    Really?!
    How nice of you, thanks a lot!
    This was indeed the first poem I wrote in English and it took me only like 5 minutes to do it so I was not expecting that it came out very good, glad you think different


    "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
    "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge."


  6. #4
    ~Neko Neko Neko~ KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls has a reputation beyond repute KyouFalls's Avatar
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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    In my opinion it's really good.

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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by KyouFalls View Post
    In my opinion it's really good.
    Arigato gozaimasu! Glad you liked it ^^

    So maybe I'll write another poem soon


    "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
    "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge."


  9. #6
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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Love it ^_^
    Very good!!
    A lot happier than any of my poems have ever written. lol


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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by AshureeChan View Post
    Love it ^_^
    Very good!!
    A lot happier than any of my poems have ever written. lol
    Glad you liked it
    Ha ha, I just wrote what came to my mind in the moment, searched on http://www.rhymezone.com/ for words that rhymed the end of the previous verse and then made up the following, 5 minutes or so
    I guess I can also write some sad poems Gotta give the poet I have in me another tries xD


    "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
    "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge."


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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Uchiha_Luffy View Post
    Glad you liked it
    Ha ha, I just wrote what came to my mind in the moment, searched on http://www.rhymezone.com/ for words that rhymed the end of the previous verse and then made up the following, 5 minutes or so
    I guess I can also write some sad poems Gotta give the poet I have in me another tries xD
    Mine always come out depressing XD
    But anyway very good job


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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by AshureeChan View Post
    Mine always come out depressing XD
    But anyway very good job
    Ha ha, guess you should then read this poem more often and also read and watch even more manga/animes to cheer you up as to start writing non-depressing poems xD

    Thanks again, glad you liked it I think it came out pretty good for a first try


    "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
    "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge."


  15. #10
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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Uchiha_Luffy View Post
    Ha ha, guess you should then read this poem more often and also read and watch even more manga/animes to cheer you up as to start writing non-depressing poems xD

    Thanks again, glad you liked it I think it came out pretty good for a first try
    Hmmm idk lol xD

    You're welcome!


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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    So beautiful! Q-Q *tears of joy*


    Darling you'll be ok.❤ ~Pierce The Veil

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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    cool you should make a haiku. *sobing* This is really good. T_T yep. (no really I love this and i'm not crying TT.
    hella

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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Awesome Poem! I liked I it

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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Sir, writes poems? Anyway, I guess you ARE some kind of artist although you can't draw anything. ^.^
    Then again i don't know anything ... about everything you need imagination for.. or artistic feelings.

    Keep it going.

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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by SIZARY-MOMO View Post
    So beautiful! Q-Q *tears of joy*
    Glad you liked, Sizary nee-chan bro xD *tears of joy for your prase*

    Quote Originally Posted by Grell Loves Jozette View Post
    cool you should make a haiku. *sobing* This is really good. T_T yep. (no really I love this and i'm not crying TT.
    Aw, glad you liked it that much, I'm really thankful
    And please don't cry 'cause if you do so your eyes will be watery and therefore you won't be able to read my poem very well ah ah xD

    Btw, what's an haiku?

    Quote Originally Posted by AnimeTrek View Post
    Awesome Poem! I liked I it
    Thanks, glad you did It was my very first try in English, tough I used a website for finding rhymes a lot of faster.
    Guess I should be posting more soon


    "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
    "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge."


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    I really like Luffy! It made me feel better reading it. Isn't your poem how we should all feel every day when waking up? Thanks for posting it.

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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Really nice for a first poem There really should be more happy poems

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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Jacob's Ladder View Post
    I really like Luffy! It made me feel better reading it. Isn't your poem how we should all feel every day when waking up? Thanks for posting it.
    Thank you and you're welcome my friend
    I guess you're right, it should be how we should feel every day when waking up, guess we'd all be a lot of happier that way but it's too damn hard xD
    And now I come to think of it I believe this poem should make you feel better bearing in mind your current situation, glad to know that I improved you mood, it really makes me feel proud of my poem

    ---------- Post added at 11:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:30 PM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Sc0tty View Post
    Really nice for a first poem There really should be more happy poems
    Glad you enjoyed it It was not my first poem, I shall say, only the first I wrote in English (though being honest I think the last poem I wrote - in portuguese - was like 6 or 7 years ago, as a school homework, so guess we kinda may consider this my first post ).

    Yup, I have to agree with that, most poems are really sad about failing love, loosing somebody important for you, being depressed... and though I actually also like that kind of poems, those happier ones as I believe mine was (at least I tried it to be xD) please me a lot


    "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
    "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge."


  30. #19
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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    very, very, veryyyyyyyy nice Good job ;D

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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Tsumiru View Post
    very, very, veryyyyyyyy nice Good job ;D
    Oh, thanks, very nice of you my portuguese comrade

    I'll post a new one (sad this time) today


    "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
    "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge."


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  34. #21
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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Good job for a first time. Continue like this, I'll read your next try too

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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Seraphin View Post
    Good job for a first time. Continue like this, I'll read your next try too
    Thak's for the support dude, it really feels good to hear that
    Next poem (coming out in the next days) will be rather sad, will you still read it?


    "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
    "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge."


  37. #23
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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    ofc poetry is made to express sadness

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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Seraphin View Post
    ofc poetry is made to express sadness
    Yeah, but also joy, hope and self-contenpemnt as in my poem
    I believe poetry exists from human's needs to express in a rather beautiful written structure all they feel about theirselves, all their joys, fears, random toughts, their feelings towards other persons and the world that surrounds them.


    "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
    "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge."


  40. #25
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    Default Re: My First Poem: Random Thoughts

    Very nicely done for your first poem. For the most part everything flowed very nicely, I think I only had to catch myself once or twice with the flow being off a bit. But thats to be expected on a first poem.

    Looking forward to seeing more.

    As far as poetry only to be expressing sadness, not sure if ofc meant something else, cause I think most poetry expresses other feelings than sadness, unless your only doing emo poetry. Most songs are just a variation of poetry. Its how I used to write most of my stuff, when I used to write music. Start with the poem, to get the feeling of how the song should be, then put the beat to it and then tweak.

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