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Thread: I Lay Here Quietly

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    Gil
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    Default I Lay Here Quietly

    (A slight shift in my usual style; some freestyle and a shift in lines near the end. More of a cathartic piece, if anything.)

    I lay here quietly
    Lost in the dull-
    Draining visions of mirth
    I try to cull

    Mists shift around my vision
    Obscuring tangible abstractions
    Underlining lingering lusts
    Left behind as a distraction

    An underscore of sultry
    Singing lullabies of longing
    Which cascade feelings-
    Losing a sense of belonging

    A wonder of the wise
    The secret of the wing
    Every opening of eyes
    The bells which tend to ring

    Another chance to saunter away
    From the far off and clandestine,
    Can we truly find the right way
    If there is no 'right', to be nesting?

    What is wrong with willingness
    To subject to the divide,
    Every feeling an injury
    To our ill-begotten pride

    Caught up in this symphony
    Of decay and romance
    I can't help but hunger simply
    For an eternal partner'd dance

    The cosmos cannot care
    For a man without water,
    The man cannot walk easily,
    Without the wind at his back
    Neither can he see in the dark,
    Without the Moonlight to grant sight

    I lay here in the lull
    The dull hours of this night,
    Without water, wind or Moonlight


    Perhaps the world was never meant to make perfect sense.


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  3. #2
    Senior Member Ayu 「あゆ」 has a reputation beyond repute Ayu 「あゆ」 has a reputation beyond repute Ayu 「あゆ」 has a reputation beyond repute Ayu 「あゆ」 has a reputation beyond repute Ayu 「あゆ」 has a reputation beyond repute Ayu 「あゆ」 has a reputation beyond repute Ayu 「あゆ」 has a reputation beyond repute Ayu 「あゆ」 has a reputation beyond repute Ayu 「あゆ」 has a reputation beyond repute Ayu 「あゆ」 has a reputation beyond repute Ayu 「あゆ」 has a reputation beyond repute Ayu 「あゆ」's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Lay Here Quietly

    That's pretty amazing! It flows really nicely!

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    Default Re: I Lay Here Quietly

    You did a good job with this one. I love how it all comes together in the end. The words you used were especially splendid. Poetry like this gives me goosebumbs ^.^

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    Default Re: I Lay Here Quietly

    amazing. i really felt the emotions behind the poem

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