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Thread: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

  1. #1
    Senior Member Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano's Avatar
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    Default Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    I need some advice on a certain predicament i find myself in.
    There are these two girls. Bethany and Becki.
    Both of them like me, but i'm only into Becki.
    I've known beth for quite a while now. She was a co-worker and we've just been friends. I know she's into me, and she knows i don't like her in a romantic manner and is fine with that. We're contempt being just friends.
    And just recently, i met a girl named Becki. Meeting her was like a punch in the stomach. She's absolutely gorgeous and her personality is the cutest thing ever. In her past, she's had a lot of bad relationships and finds it hard to trust guys.

    Thats the background. now here is what happened.

    I was supposed to hang out with beth tonight and watch a movie, but Becki needed my help with something so i did that. And afterward when i told her i had to go, she asked me where and i answered honestly i saw no reason to lie). Told her i was heading to Beths. She didn't like that answer.

    She's now convinced that theres stuff going on between beth and I. And tomorrow i was planning on asking her out on a date so i could ask her to be my girlfriend.

    She's absolutely amazing and i really don't want to lose her because it'll be a very long time before another one like her shows up if it ever even happens.

    So does anyone have any idea on how i can get Becki to trust me?
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    Quite the dilemma. Has Becki been made aware of your relationship rules? I mean she does know that it will never get serious, right?

    Now, I'm only going by what you've posted in the relationship theads...wouldn't this fall under the "so what" category?
    Last edited by Jacob's Ladder; 04-30-2012 at 08:00 AM.

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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    Just explain to her and be honest, it seems like the only thing you can do. If she doesnt want to trust you, well that isn't your fault. If you can find a way to prove it to her or get her to forget it with something special when you ask her out.


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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    This should have gone in your blog.

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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    Why are you trying to get in a relationship with someone who won't accept your story based on how others treated her? If she's that shallow, or other just that damaged, perhaps it would be best to seek romantic companionship elsewhere. Unless unhinged and suspicious broads are your thing; in which case, I suggest you continue to plead your case.

     
    Quote Originally Posted by Princess Cupcake View Post
    This should have gone in your blog.
    This as well.
    Last edited by Anoleis; 04-30-2012 at 10:51 AM. Reason: Good lord, if I put as much effort into school as I did into being offensive on the internet, I might have gotten in for free

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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    Quote Originally Posted by The Angelic Anathema View Post
    Why are you trying to get in a relationship with someone who won't accept your story based on how others treated her? If she's that shallow, or other just that damaged, perhaps it would be best to seek romantic companionship elsewhere. Unless unhinged and suspicious broads are your thing; in which case, I suggest you continue to plead your case.
    Eh, he doesn't say she flew off the handle. I'm thinking she's maybe not too far off par for the course.

    For the OP, people have the baggage they have. If she has a hard time trusting guys, which isn't such an irrational thing, she's probably going to have a hard time really trusting you. Also how much does she have to trust you right away? I guess that gets into the sort of relationship and timeframe you're looking for here.

    I'd lean toward not going on and on about it. Just ask her out, and if she asks about Beth say that if you liked Beth you'd be asking her out instead. Only get into it if she's turning you down. Otherwise trust is something you build up over time.

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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    Quote Originally Posted by Jacob's Ladder View Post
    Quite the dilemma. Has Becki been made aware of your relationship rules? I mean she does know that it will never get serious, right?

    Now, I'm only going by what you've posted in the relationship theads...wouldn't this fall under the "so what" category?
    i'm aware of the rules i've set, but damn dude. she's really making me reconsider them. And i'm not one to go against my own rules very lightly
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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    Yeah this should be in your blog instead.

    Anyways, since it's here and all. Just tell Becki honestly about your relationship with Beth. Tell her that you're just friends. If she doesn't believe that, then I guess she's not worth it. They say relationships are built with trust and with trust comes honesty.
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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    Quote Originally Posted by DerGerman View Post
    i'm aware of the rules i've set, but damn dude. she's really making me reconsider them. And i'm not one to go against my own rules very lightly
    Hurm. I don't know your rules, but it occurs to me now that maybe she'd be right not to "trust" you in certain ways :P

    Though again, there is this weird thing going on now where people act like they're semi-married from the first date. There is something to be said for just keeping it simple, and enjoy spending time with each other. Maybe if you just ask her on a date instead of explicitly asking her to be your girlfriend it might not trigger all of that emotional baggage.

    If she's worried about being used like a fleshy sex toy and then discarded. Well, maybe don't use her like a fleshy sex toy and then discard her.

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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    I'm not the romantic type (I'm the "friends with benefits" type of gal), but here's some advice.

    I don't think you noticed the red flag. Becki got upset that you went to Beth's house. Correct me if I am wrong, but you were just friends with both of them at the time, so Becki had no real reason to be mad. You mentioned that she had issues trusting guys and this is a sign of it. She distrusts you even when you are not together and it only gets more possessive from here. Be prepared for frantic phone calls when you are 5 minutes late for your date and explanations for every girl that you are with.

    The cornerstone to any relationship is trust. She has trust issues and since these were caused by past relationships, it is going to take a while before she trusts you completely. At the moment, all you have is your word (a line we girls hear a million times in our lifetime), but if you are faithful and show that you aren't running around with other girls, you'll be fine.

    But again, take notice of her emotional "baggage". I'm not saying that you should walk away immediately, but that you should be prepared. Girls with trust issues can be very clingy and overbearing. You are going to have to be patient because, again, there is a possibility that you are going to have inquiries about every other person that you are with.
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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    I don't know what your principles are. If I were you, I'd reconsider. If she has trust issues, she will be very suspicious of your every moves. Each day will be spent reassuring her that you love her and only her. She will be clingy and will want to be with you 24/7, just so she knows you won't cheat on her. You won't even have regular times with your friends. You will feel suffocated. If you can't handle that, it will hurt both of you. But if you can handle her issues and gain her trust, then that'd be great because it's beneficial to both of you. I believe that she has interest in you, but is still not sure whether you like her or not. Ask her out is all I can say.

     
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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    Wanna be romantic ant cute guy? Go to Becki late at night when she's at home, maybe just before sunset and ask her to go for a walk with you (weather is perfect). Be playful and cute and if she refuses be like "oh c'mon... Don't do this to me *cute smile*. I know a place where they sell ice-cream *cute smile*" and don't take "no" for an anwser. When you walk chat with her but at some point get serious and say "listen, about beth. she's my friend and we had plans. Friends, that's all" or something. Explain. THEN ask her out (after she believes u and forgives u)

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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    Oh dear, you are in a predicament. It'll take a some time to gain her trust. You said so yourself that she has been in bad relationships before and it's hard for her to trust men so why would you see Beth after being with her? That just raised red warning flags all around her. That is why she didn't like that you were going to see Beth after hanging out with her. Put yourself in her shoes. If you want her to be your girlfriend, you REALLY have to make her feel safe with you and get her to trust you. You're not starting out right, even if it's all innocent. Make her see that she's the only one you're interested in. If she sees you going off with another girl, she won't want to be with you. A girl that has been through too many heart breaks needs to feel safe. And if you want her to feel safe with you, do your best to gain her trust and let Beth know that you are interested in Becki. Tell Beth directly and don't assume that she already knows that you're into Becki. Good luck

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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    Go for the harem ending.



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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    And afterward when i told her i had to go, she asked me where and i answered honestly i saw no reason to lie). Told her i was heading to Beths. She didn't like that answer.
    This sounds familiar. Advice: Run away.


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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    Hook up with Beth, avoid folk who sound like neds.

  23. #18
    Member Haloguy13 has a reputation beyond repute Haloguy13 has a reputation beyond repute Haloguy13 has a reputation beyond repute Haloguy13 has a reputation beyond repute Haloguy13 has a reputation beyond repute Haloguy13 has a reputation beyond repute Haloguy13 has a reputation beyond repute Haloguy13 has a reputation beyond repute Haloguy13 has a reputation beyond repute Haloguy13 has a reputation beyond repute Haloguy13 has a reputation beyond repute Haloguy13's Avatar
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    Default Stuff

    What ever you do dont get into the situation that u have to chosse one or else one might get have u seen the shuffel episod were kiday trys to suduce him into staying

  24. #19
    Senior Member Explorer Oak has a reputation beyond repute Explorer Oak has a reputation beyond repute Explorer Oak has a reputation beyond repute Explorer Oak has a reputation beyond repute Explorer Oak has a reputation beyond repute Explorer Oak has a reputation beyond repute Explorer Oak has a reputation beyond repute Explorer Oak has a reputation beyond repute Explorer Oak has a reputation beyond repute Explorer Oak has a reputation beyond repute Explorer Oak has a reputation beyond repute Explorer Oak's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    Damged yes, shallow no. It's not your fault but consider it from her point of view, not somthing i would just shrug off ya know what i mean? Heed my advice or it's School Days all over again bro.

    ---------- Post added at 09:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:38 PM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Kiss of Death View Post
    Wanna be romantic ant cute guy? Go to Becki late at night when she's at home, maybe just before sunset and ask her to go for a walk with you (weather is perfect). Be playful and cute and if she refuses be like "oh c'mon... Don't do this to me *cute smile*. I know a place where they sell ice-cream *cute smile*" and don't take "no" for an anwser. When you walk chat with her but at some point get serious and say "listen, about beth. she's my friend and we had plans. Friends, that's all" or something. Explain. THEN ask her out (after she believes u and forgives u)

    Good luck
    ~KoD
    Trusting romantic advice from sombody named "Kiss of death"? I'd pass. Haha i joke. :P But setting aside all the generic lines, that sounds like a good date tip!
    Last edited by Explorer Oak; 05-02-2012 at 11:40 PM.
    Explorer Oak ~ Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's seed, that held its ground. Never give up!

  25. #20
    Oath of Blood Kiss of Death has a reputation beyond repute Kiss of Death has a reputation beyond repute Kiss of Death has a reputation beyond repute Kiss of Death has a reputation beyond repute Kiss of Death has a reputation beyond repute Kiss of Death has a reputation beyond repute Kiss of Death has a reputation beyond repute Kiss of Death has a reputation beyond repute Kiss of Death has a reputation beyond repute Kiss of Death has a reputation beyond repute Kiss of Death has a reputation beyond repute Kiss of Death's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    Quote Originally Posted by Explorer Oak View Post

    Trusting romantic advice from sombody named "Kiss of death"? I'd pass. Haha i joke. :P But setting aside all the generic lines, that sounds like a good date tip!
    My nickname is very old. St that time I was into vampyres, warewolfs and stuff like that
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  27. #21
    Senior Member DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM! has a reputation beyond repute DOOM!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    I've been through similar stuff. There was this one who went through bad relationships and etc and over the time I've know her, I made it pretty ovbious I'd be there for her in times of need; I was was even the first the visit her in the hospital and lent her my laptop and internet when she had a kidney failure on a sad Sunday night. And I didn't ask her to go steady then because she was bitching about her ex-bf's and that would mean she would give me the "just friends" reply. So I waited and watched and it turned up she was total wreck; I didn't want that, so I gave her the cold shoulder. Later, she came barging into me and I gave her the "just friends" and now try to ignore her when I see her.

    My advice: Just take Beth and dump the emo wreck. You'd be better off with someone who's into you because she knows you, rather than some tramp who probably baaawwws over how shallow/abusive her ex-bf's were and then falls for another one like her previous, ignoring a better companion completely.


  28. #22
    Senior Member Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano has a reputation beyond repute Kaleohano's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, Guys some relationship advice please???

    Quote Originally Posted by Explorer Oak View Post
    Damged yes, shallow no. It's not your fault but consider it from her point of view, not somthing i would just shrug off ya know what i mean? Heed my advice or it's School Days all over again bro.[COLOR="Silver"]
    i think i'd like to avoid the school days situation lol
    Kaleohano derailing threads everywhere he go
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