AnimeGalleries [dot] NetAnimeWallpapers [dot] ComAnimeLyrics [dot] ComAnimePedia [dot] ComAnimeGlobe [dot] Com

User Tag List

+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: The Integral Conspiracy

  1. #1
    The Poet Sword Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke's Avatar
    Gil
    73,993,303.86
    Gender
    Gifts Pocket Watch Leo 028 - Sandslash
    Mentioned
    27 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    04-19-2014 11:45 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Michigan
    Age
    24
    Threads
    225
    Posts
    3,251
    Blog Entries
    142
    Rep Power
    1233

    Default The Integral Conspiracy

    Is there more to this life than this paradise;
    This illusion of delusions that seems so right,
    Can I see more then I'm meant to see-
    Or does this make me crazy?

    One more step to take and I'll fall tonight
    Into the lap of my specters; who hold me tight,
    If the thoughts which remained will let me feel
    Perhaps this embrace will seal the deal

    These eyes can only see what's brought to light
    I can not read minds; so please assume this on sight,
    When I dance to the rhythm of a deadly beat
    I can feel the charge rise from the soles of my feet

    Every breath which we take is another life
    And every touch is a pillar of human might,
    Should we curse our vows; we become free
    Although, how is this supposed to release me?

    Every thought is a chain which holds me tight
    As they continue their conspiracies by candle-light,
    A form so soft I could barely resist
    Every temptation of the cursed kiss

    Two eyes which surmise a blighted fate
    Even now while I dine on the spited make,
    I can feel the regret slowly slipping away
    It absorbs all the pain which haunts my days

    The desire for the fire of a body tonight
    A spiritually and lyrically nimble plight,
    Lifting above the clouds which obscure
    Every trivial thing we all endure

    If final words were final there would be no hurt
    As we hear the echos calling, the bells of the church,
    The past, or the future which we want to see
    What does this mean, how can this be?


    Perhaps the world was never meant to make perfect sense.


  2. #2
    Senior Member Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer's Avatar
    Gil
    206,487.38
    Gender
    My Mood
    Persnickety
    Gifts Gir 172 - Pichu Jupiter Crystal Henshin Pen
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    07-05-2012 06:53 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    South Carolina
    Age
    23
    Threads
    5
    Posts
    388
    Blog Entries
    2
    Rep Power
    268

    Default Re: The Integral Conspiracy

    Very well written, I was impressed with how most everything flowed well together and your choice of wording was on point.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tetsanosuke
    Two eyes which surmise a blighted fate
    Even now while I dine on the spited make,
    I can feel the regret slowly slipping away
    It absorbs all the pain which haunts my days
    The only suggestion I have for you is to maybe change days to day to keep the smooth flow of the rhyming, or feel free to keep it the same. Either way, lovely piece and hope to read more from you!

    [Let others wage war.]
    Slayer's Creative Corner

  3. #3
    The Poet Sword Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke's Avatar
    Gil
    73,993,303.86
    Gender
    Gifts Pocket Watch Leo 028 - Sandslash
    Mentioned
    27 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    04-19-2014 11:45 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Michigan
    Age
    24
    Threads
    225
    Posts
    3,251
    Blog Entries
    142
    Rep Power
    1233

    Default Re: The Integral Conspiracy

    I do appreciate the constructive criticism. <NodNod.>

    That being said, if I switch 'days' to 'day' it loses some of its permanence, which from an open interpretation standpoint might not be a harsh blow. Although I did have certain thoughts and feelings weaving through my being when I wrote this. So said permanence holds some meaning to me.

    But my gratitude is yours for the idea in question. No doubt about that.


    Perhaps the world was never meant to make perfect sense.


  4. #4
    Senior Member Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer's Avatar
    Gil
    206,487.38
    Gender
    My Mood
    Persnickety
    Gifts Gir 172 - Pichu Jupiter Crystal Henshin Pen
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    07-05-2012 06:53 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    South Carolina
    Age
    23
    Threads
    5
    Posts
    388
    Blog Entries
    2
    Rep Power
    268

    Default Re: The Integral Conspiracy

    Ohh, I see what you mean! It still fits well either way. Hope you have some more work on the way sometime soon! *Hint, hint, nudge, nudge.*

    [Let others wage war.]
    Slayer's Creative Corner

  5. Thanks Tetsanosuke thanked for this post
    Likes Tetsanosuke liked this post
  6. #5
    The Poet Sword Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke's Avatar
    Gil
    73,993,303.86
    Gender
    Gifts Pocket Watch Leo 028 - Sandslash
    Mentioned
    27 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    04-19-2014 11:45 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Michigan
    Age
    24
    Threads
    225
    Posts
    3,251
    Blog Entries
    142
    Rep Power
    1233

    Default Re: The Integral Conspiracy

    All the hints. All the nudges. None of the comprehension.

    Or just a lack of confidence in my interpretation. Either way. It's funny.


    Perhaps the world was never meant to make perfect sense.


  7. Likes Slayer liked this post
  8. #6
    Senior Member Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer has a reputation beyond repute Slayer's Avatar
    Gil
    206,487.38
    Gender
    My Mood
    Persnickety
    Gifts Gir 172 - Pichu Jupiter Crystal Henshin Pen
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    07-05-2012 06:53 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    South Carolina
    Age
    23
    Threads
    5
    Posts
    388
    Blog Entries
    2
    Rep Power
    268

    Default Re: The Integral Conspiracy

    The nudging was hinting that you have a very hungry reader in your hands! Feed her with more writing!

    [Let others wage war.]
    Slayer's Creative Corner

  9. Likes Tetsanosuke liked this post
+ Reply to Thread

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Similar Threads

  1. College Conspiracy
    By Kaitou+ in forum Miscellaneous Miscellany
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 07-24-2011, 03:51 PM
  2. Conspiracy or Innocent Mistake?
    By Shinn Kamiyra in forum Miscellaneous Miscellany
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 07-04-2009, 04:55 PM
  3. 9/11 conspiracy theory. Believe it?
    By International 4-8818 in forum Miscellaneous Miscellany
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 08-03-2007, 02:50 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts