Discipline: How much is too much?

[Slayer]

I think almost everyone can agree that children need discipline. I was disciplined as a child according to my actions but my parents knew what line to not cross and were still able to get their point across. I ran into a video on Youtube the other day that disturbed me pretty badly.

Be warned that the video could be considered disturbing by some:



The cause for the vicious beating was because she had downloaded pirated content online; music, to be more precise. Apparently this was a reoccurring thing and once the daughter sensed that something was about to happen, she turned on a hidden camera to catch the father beating her in action.

Personally, I think one, maybe two lashes with the belt would've sufficed and removing her privilege to use the Internet for a month. In my opinion, this man crossed the line between "discipline" and stepped into "beating".

So I'll ask you, fellow AF'ers, do you think this was too much? And to what extent would you take disciplining your children?

[Explorer Oak]

Oh my god.. now what to say.. Well first of all thanks for the warning, i should have listened but i didn't think it would be that bad. Absolutely not acceptable in my book. For frelling downloading some shared music?! Not a good reason to treat your own child like that. I hope that she used that rec. to get her out of that misserable home. I am not sure what course of action i will take to discipline my kids when i get older. I suppose i will know when the time comes.

[Shibito]

I couldnt watch past 4 minutes... It made me sick to my stomach. didnt relize i was holding a peice of metal trash i was picking up while cleaning. the video got me mad. I squeezed it to the point i was bleeding. the drip of blood that feel on my foot snaped it out of it. I dont know how someone can be so frelling shallow to do this. Makes me so freaking sick.... I hope to god that he sufferes the same. She had no reason to get beaten like that. argh....Brb i need to wrap my hand up and clean up my keyboard...

[Xeyuzio]

The moment anyone, including my parents, ever try to hit me it's on. I honestly could care less who you are, you do not hurt me unless I hurt you first on purpose (I wouldn't ever hit anyone unless they hit me). I'm strongly against any type of physical abuse, he could have just taken away her internet for a couple of months. It's people like this that make me want people to get parenting licenses to have or take care of children.

[KageNoNeko]

That video showed excessive.

[Hakoshi]

that guy makes my parents scoldings seem like smacking me with a feather.

[Albear]

It was hard interpreting the first post since AF took a little too much salt water today.
I would say its not excessive to simply lecture kids or smack the booty once. But a straight up beat down is too much.

[Acnologia]

Well, that's obviously too much, some parents just don't know when enough is enough and I really don't think those types of people should be parenting.

Removing her internet for a few weeks with an explanation or grounding her would suffice.

[SuXrys]

Parents/others should NEVER hit a child, or anyone else for that matter!

It's illegal to "discipline" a child with violence here, and I couldn't agree with that law anymore then I already do. So @Aelwynsal even one/two lashes with a belt is in my personal opinion too much, in my eyes someone has gone way to far if someone does that. It's just wrong.

---------- Post added at 01:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:56 PM ----------

I would say its not excessive to simply lecture kids or smack the booty once. But a straight up beat down is too much.

Why should someone even smack their kid once?

[Slayer]

Why should someone even smack their kid once?

I've never been a big believer of striking a child to enforce discipline, but I know some children who need it. Any and all other methods of attempted disciple don't seem to work. Now, I'm not saying to hit them like that man was hitting his daughter.

I know that when I was young I did something that my parents heavily disliked and I got struck with the belt once. It was only hard enough to sting and they didn't make any other attempts to take it further; and with all honesty that one time is all it took.

In my opinion, controlled strikes (strikes that aren't overpowered and don't leave any marks on the child) are sometimes necessary.

[SuXrys]

In my opinion, controlled strikes (strikes that aren't overpowered and don't leave any marks on the child) are sometimes necessary.

But how can anyone give controlled strikes when they are mad and upset? I belive that strikes are then never as controlled as "the striker" hoped/wished for or thought that they would be. Why not do other things instead of hitting the child?


To read that people think that things like this are okey are just such a "cultural crash" for me. But I guess that is what happens when you meeting people from so many different countries.

[marvel_phoenix]

My parents (namely my mum) would use corporal punishment on us when we were little, but never more than one smack usually. It was enough to get our attention that we were in the wrong. As we got older, it became more along the lines of taking things away (like my radio) or grounding us. Once my dad made me stand with my nose pressed against the doorway as punishment, but a friend called for me and he told her on the phone exactly what I was doing and that it was punishment. It was more mortifying than anything else he could have ever done.

That dad was excessive. Take her computer privileges away, delete the download program and all the music off of there yourself, or find someone who will. Then assign extra chores and such. Illegal downloading is an offense that is by no means worth beating a child over.

[Eris]

Only inferior, possibly unsuitable parents have to resort to violence to get their point across.

[animegirl2365]

Okay I know this is a touchy subject and some people aren't gonna like what I'm about to say but this is based on my experience and my own opinion. My comment on the video is it wasn't that horrifying to me but I will say the girl was WAY too old to be getting spanked. If you are going to spank your kids the limit should be 10-12. When they turn teenagers they should be old enough to get grounded and stuff. Now I personally don't see anything wrong with spanking your child my mom did it to me and my sister and her mom and dad did the same to her and we all turned out great. Also for all you Christians out there I do believe its in the Bible that you should beat your kids. From my own experience I think children who get spankings behave better than the ones who just get grounded. When you get spanked as a kid it puts a little fear in your heart of doing wrong and it makes you think twice about stealing candy or talking back to the teacher. Now I do agree that some parents take it over board. Some kids like the ones at my old school who didn't get spankings did whatever they wanted because they knew all that was gonna happen was they weren't going to be able to play outside or watch tv for a while.

[Syaoran]

Beating children is wrong. I am one so I'm kind of biased there. But all beating does is make someone live in fear of their mistakes, and there are better ways of learning from mistakes. But if you can't handle a kid that has done something wrong calmly then don't be a parent, leave it at that.

[Kaleohano]

i think that parents these days are way too soft on their kids. a smack on the a$$, a tug on the ears or nose, some harsh words, and grounding all are part of growing up. but even i have to admit that this is some effing bullshyt. that dude has gone way too damn far. i hope she could use the video to get the hell out of there.

---------- Post added at 01:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:03 PM ----------

I've never been a big believer of striking a child to enforce discipline, but I know some children who need it. Any and all other methods of attempted disciple don't seem to work. Now, I'm not saying to hit them like that man was hitting his daughter.

I know that when I was young I did something that my parents heavily disliked and I got struck with the belt once. It was only hard enough to sting and they didn't make any other attempts to take it further; and with all honesty that one time is all it took.

In my opinion, controlled strikes (strikes that aren't overpowered and don't leave any marks on the child) are sometimes necessary.

put into adult terms, few things will shut someone up like blood dripping from his mouth whenever he opens it. in kids terms. the little guy won't worry about causing you problems when his butt stings. its not violence when kept in check. this video however, was not kept in check.

[Rylingo]

Most kids are easily controlled by removing priveleges. Don't threaten to remove. Remove. Take the TV out of the kids room and put it in the basement.

As for striking them? No. A clip around the arse if they do something serious (injure another child, risk their own life) is fine. Otherwise no.