Lullaby

[Princess Cupcake]

I would like to submit this poem in a contest and I was hoping to get some honest feedback on if I should change anything or add more to it. Tell me what you liked about it and what you didn't.

Lullaby

Flickering light in the distance
Dances under the star's assistance
Portrayed the night in simple terms
Left me lifeless and never learns

"Take a seat," said the crescent moon
"Close your eyes, but hear my tune"
A voice rather calming, it would seem
Then, slowly I drifted, into a dream

How unreal such visions had been
This must just be, my imagination
Without any windows, without any walls
Without inhibitions, nature calls

Kaleidoscopic world, so far away
Nice to visit, too bad I can't stay
Where lines connect and colors collide
We remind our mind to open wide

[Munchman]

I think it is great , it sounds very surreal. For some reason when i read it i kept thinking about psychedelic rock...With that said, you should really submit it in the contest.

[Princess Cupcake]

I think it is great , it sounds very surreal. For some reason when i read it i kept thinking about psychedelic rock...With that said, you should really submit it in the contest.

Thank you! That's exactly what I was going for.

[Albear]

I think of non-concrete, imaginative settings. Like you are talking about dreams.
I liked the flow of the poem, almost like a song.

[Princess Cupcake]

Thank you Cheesecake <3

I think of non-concrete, imaginative settings. Like you are talking about dreams.
I liked the flow of the poem, almost like a song.

It's like a dream,
but is it a dream?
Or is it reality?
Maybe just a fantasy.
Maybe it was real,
but now it's not...
could be,
that is doesn't exist at all.

[Albear]

Smells like fantasy is what I feel..
You write your poems beyond what is real.

Too lazy right now so this is all I could make..
Time to chow down on some mudda frippin cheesecake.

[Princess Cupcake]

Smells like fantasy is what I feel..
You write your poems beyond what is real.

Too lazy right now so this is all I could make..
Time to chow down on some mudda frippin cheesecake.

Omg~ I love this! You are fuggin hilarious <3

[Ravin]

Poems are used to express both reality and imagination

[Princess Cupcake]

Poems are used to express both reality and imagination

To me, they are the same.

[Ravin]

To me, they are the same.

indeed