A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real.
He asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know, I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response.
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds.
Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Good Lord, are you still in there?!"
A minister was giving the children's message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them.
On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children nodded eagerly.
"This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats nuts (pause)..." No hands went up. "And it is gray (pause) and has a long bushy tail (pause)..." The children were looking at each other, but still no hands raised. "And it jumps from branch to branch (pause) and chatters and flips its tail when it's excited (pause)..."
Finally one little boy tentatively raised his hand. The minister breathed a sigh of relief and called on him.
"Well," said the boy, "I know the answer you're looking for is supposed to be 'Jesus' ... but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family of seven) answered, "Thou shall not kill!"
Billy had reached school age. His mother managed with a blast of propaganda to make him enthusiastic about the idea. She bought him lots of new clothes, told him of the new friends he'd meet, and so on.
When the first day came, Billy eagerly went off and came back home with a lot of glowing reports about school. The next morning when his mother woke him up, he asked, "What for?" She told him it was time to get ready for school.
"What?" he asked. "Again?"