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Thread: [REQ] Cosmos Flight by KANAN

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    Junior Member Nano_Kunitachi is on a distinguished road Nano_Kunitachi's Avatar
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    Default [REQ] Cosmos Flight by KANAN

    I would like to request Romaji and English lyrics for Cosmos Flight by KANAN.

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    Default Re: [REQ] Cosmos Flight by KANAN

    OMG Yamai has original albums?!?! <3

    anyway, I only had time tonight to finish the romaji.
    I'll try to get to the translation tomorrow if no one else volunteers~

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    Default Re: [REQ] Cosmos Flight by KANAN

    Quote Originally Posted by animeyay View Post
    OMG Yamai has original albums?!?! <3

    anyway, I only had time tonight to finish the romaji.
    I'll try to get to the translation tomorrow if no one else volunteers~
    Haha yes she has two original albums <3. The rest of her albums are two anime covers and one single. This website (although it's in Vietnamese) has all the albums for KANAN. I wanted to request all of her original songs so I'm just going to do it little by little so I don't go crazy and lose myself.http://nhacso.net/album-cua-nghe-si/...15438-1-1.html
    This website has lyrics for 14 songs by KANAN but the bad part (it's not really bad it's just not correct) is that all the lyrics except for a few are correct. I hope I'm not violating any rules by giving links to other websites but these are really good websites that have some KANAN information on it. :http://www.3131.info/KANAN/

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    Default Re: [REQ] Cosmos Flight by KANAN

    Translation submitted~
    This song is so SAD.

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    Default Re: [REQ] Cosmos Flight by KANAN

    Cosmos Flight
    Triston submitted his translation before I had a chance.

    His translation is very liberal, but I guess that's his style.

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    Junior Member Nano_Kunitachi is on a distinguished road Nano_Kunitachi's Avatar
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    Default Re: [REQ] Cosmos Flight by KANAN

    Quote Originally Posted by Triston View Post
    Translation submitted~
    This song is so SAD.
    Thanks

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    Default Re: [REQ] Cosmos Flight by KANAN

    Quote Originally Posted by animeyay View Post
    Cosmos Flight
    Triston submitted his translation before I had a chance.

    His translation is very liberal, but I guess that's his style.
    I agree with you. In my opinion though some parts though I'm not sure if I'm right... Some lyrics look wrong- the translation.

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    Default Re: [REQ] Cosmos Flight by KANAN

    Quote Originally Posted by Nano_Kunitachi View Post
    I agree with you. In my opinion though some parts though I'm not sure if I'm right... Some lyrics look wrong- the translation.
    If he doesn't mind, I'm sure we can fix it up a little bit

    @Triston got a minute~?

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    Default Re: [REQ] Cosmos Flight by KANAN

    Haha, yeah I know I'm very liberal with translations; I want to keep that sense of poeticism that the author provided and try to capture, if not the literal content, the meaning that a lyric gives, while letting it sound nicer in English.

    Ex: "the star labeled me"
    The lyricist already opened the use of the motif 'stars' to represent dreams in the previous two lines, and I couldn't think of a way to condense "Regarding the me that had dreams that day, she is with you, who has granted them" in English without it sounding awkward, so I tried to take that same sense of "my dreams followed you when you left" and make it sound better. I hope that's alright :s

    If you have issues with other lyrics, I can explain my reasoning, and if you disagree we can discuss the lyric in question more :3

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    Default Re: [REQ] Cosmos Flight by KANAN

    Quote Originally Posted by Triston View Post
    If you have issues with other lyrics, I can explain my reasoning, and if you disagree we can discuss the lyric in question more :3
    I suppose your translation, for the most part, isn't wrong; it's just very curtailed and condensed lol. Although it's not as detailed as I would like, I don't think I should complain too much about others' translation style. Nevertheless, I do think some parts call for closer scrutiny for accuracy:



    kimi ga tabidatsu hi gamen-goshi ni ita (Burned into memory)
    yakitsukeru you ni zutto (The day you left plays on loop)
    tooku tooku natte mienaku naru yo (The ship that you boarded)
    kimi to omoi o noseta fune (shrinks into the distance)

    I'm not sure why you put "plays on loop" there, but literally, these lines mean:

    On the day when you left on a journey, I was on the other side of the monitor/screen.
    As though burning itself into my memory,
    the ship that carries both you and my thoughts
    sails farther and farther away, until I can no longer see it.



    nando mo sora o aoide mita (Countless times I've searched)
    nando mo kimi o sagashite'ta (Pleaded with the sky)

    "aoide", from the verb "aogu", doesn't mean "plead"; it means "to look up at":

    Countless times I tried looking up at the sky,
    and countless times I searched for you.




    yume o nose tobitatta kimi to (connecting the dreams that left)
    yume o makaseta watashi wa tsunagatte'ru (and the dreams that stayed)

    Here it's "you" and "I" that are connected, not the dreams:

    You, who carried my dreams on board with you,
    are connected to me, who entrusted my dreams to you.




    yume o mite futari de waratta hi to (Look closely for the one)
    yume o kanaeta ima wa kitto kawaranai (called 'us')

    Forgive me, but I think you're being too liberal here lol:

    Our past, where we used to dream and laugh together,
    and our present, where our dream has come true, will never change.

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    Default Re: [REQ] Cosmos Flight by KANAN

    I'm not sure why you put "plays on loop" there, but literally, these lines mean:

    On the day when you left on a journey, I was on the other side of the monitor/screen.
    As though burning itself into my memory,
    the ship that carries both you and my thoughts
    sails farther and farther away, until I can no longer see it.


    Whoops. I didn't know that "-goshi" was a suffix, I thought it was some awkward twisting of "kosu", to pass, referring to that memory of the day as though it were on a screen. Um, I'm not sure what to do with that line then, since we don't get much more regarding the events of the day that he left than this line, so who knows what the "screen" in question is or how to word/reword the situation in English. :<

    "aoide", from the verb "aogu", doesn't mean "plead"; it means "to look up at":

    Countless times I tried looking up at the sky,
    and countless times I searched for you.


    My dictionary has "aogu" as "to look up at" but also "to revere", "to depend on", "to respect" etc. I interpreted it as her not looking literally at the sky, but to some higher power.

    Here it's "you" and "I" that are connected, not the dreams:

    You, who carried my dreams on board with you,
    are connected to me, who entrusted my dreams to you.


    Yes, my intent was to imply the respective people as well, since dreams must have a dreamer.

    Forgive me, but I think you're being too liberal here lol:

    Our past, where we used to dream and laugh together,
    and our present, where our dream has come true, will never change.


    Lol yeah I was afraid this one was pushing it. The literal wording, as you have there, sounds really awkward in English. (at least IMO) I also feel that it would obfuscate what I interpreted the meaning of the sentence to be: Comparing the past and present as unchanging, we infer that she means the future will also never change; that is, the state of him being gone somewhere and her waiting for him to come back. Therefore, her hopes of them being reunited become one of the many unattainable desires she has, which have already been described as stars. (the ones that surround her in a previous lyric)
    Rather than finding a way to refer to the past and present in detail in English with only a few words, I went the "easier" route of just referring back to the same star motif.



    Again, I apologize if my translation style is too liberal; I'm not sure what the goal of animelyrics is, be it accuracy of content or ensuring that lyrics still sound like songs, but I personally prefer the latter. XD I can tone it back if that's not what the community wants, though, just let me know.

    Also, not sure what to do with the gamen-goshi line now, if anyone else has ideas.

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    Default Re: [REQ] Cosmos Flight by KANAN

    Try to do it in your own style and not be over-condescending, remember that you have the right to disagree in a lyric discussion, but if you feel that you had been too liberal in your delivery, it is best that you readjust it.
    I say this because I noticed your work does have similarities with how I do my own stuff, so when @animeyay critiques you I get to feel that awkward uneasiness of him doing it to me lol.

    祝! 『禁断の病棟』 アニメ化!

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    Default Re: [REQ] Cosmos Flight by KANAN

    lol just to be clear, I'm not trying to be imposing even though I might end up giving off that vibe.

    @Triston I do understand your reasoning, so I left most of your translation alone. I was more concerned with accuracy, but as long as you have good reasons behind your choices, I'm all good. I just hope you don't think I'm being too critical/difficult

    ---------- Post added at 10:34 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:25 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by AzureDark View Post
    I say this because I noticed your work does have similarities with how I do my own stuff, so when @animeyay critiques you I get to feel that awkward uneasiness of him doing it to me lol.
    I guess I was just caught off guard by Triston's extremely liberal style XD
    maybe you and he share some similarities in logic, but I don't think you ever had his level of "liberalness"

    anyway, after reading his explanation, I now feel a lot more comfortable with his translation~

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