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Thread: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

  1. #26
    Senior Member illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    Quote Originally Posted by Helvetica View Post
    According to your statement I would have to be drawn to every girl I meet or know, then. That's quite a feat!
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  2. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helvetica:2641641
    Quote Originally Posted by Jacob's Ladder View Post
    No....there will aways be one of the 2 that will develop feelings more than just friendship. It's how we are designed to be...on a genetic level. With exception being those of a gay nature.

    According to your statement I would have to be drawn to every girl I meet or know, then. That's quite a feat!
    Did I say "every girl"? No, I didn't. I said we aren't wired to be just friends...there will come a time where a friend or us will want more than friendship.

  3. #28
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jacob's Ladder View Post
    Did I say "every girl"? No, I didn't. I said we aren't wired to be just friends...there will come a time where a friend or us will want more than friendship.
    To be completely honest with you, there are friends of mine I seriously wouldn't want a relationship with. Actually, none, because they're friends. Ill admit that there are exceptions, though. I'm engaged to my best friend.
    Not everything is black and white like that.

  4. #29
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    Best thing about being bff with a girl: telling her she's fat, dumb, infatuated, badly/scantly dressed without holding back, and she has an IQ over 30, she'll take it as a friendly opinion to change her ways.
    One of mine always punches me every time I criticize her, which I can punch back in the shoulder without holding back, because, who cares?


  5. #30
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jacob's Ladder View Post
    Did I say "every girl"? No, I didn't. I said we aren't wired to be just friends...there will come a time where a friend or us will want more than friendship.
    Since the majority of my friends are male, I can't argue with that on a basic level. Although, I think it depends on what "more than friendship" is. I have guy friends that are "just friends" but two who are "friends with benefits" (we all know what those "benefits" are); they are still just friends (I haven't had a serious relationship in years).

    I think that its important for men and women to get beyond the "X gender is wired to do Y" excuse because its only valid in certain situations. There are guys who will want be something other than friends (or rather, want something that mere friendship can't produce), but that doesn't mean that it isn't possible for people of the opposite gender to be "just friends" with each other. Saying that either gender is simply "wired" to want more than friendship from the opposite gender is a bit degrading to both sides. We humans are beyond that; guys have the ability to control themselves and girls have the ability to control themselves.

    Sure, there are guys who will want something "more" than friendship from their female friends, but I think that has a lot more to do with the fact that they are already close friends with a female, not that they are genetically "wired" to desire something more from them.
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  6. #31
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    I don't understand why this is even a question.

    It's an obvious yes. I'm not even attracted to the opposite gender.

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  7. #32
    Senior Member illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu has a reputation beyond repute illu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jacob's Ladder View Post
    Did I say "every girl"? No, I didn't. I said we aren't wired to be just friends...there will come a time where a friend or us will want more than friendship.
    That being said you can still have friends of the opposite gender without resorting to a relationship. You can be attracted to someone because of certain feats, but also get turned off by other things about that same person.

  8. #33
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    Sure, why not?

  9. #34
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    No. I havent had a single good friend that actually wanted to be friends only with me.
    I never trust a guy that openly says 'we are the best of friends'.
    Within a short amount of time they will try to touch or kiss you, unexpected.
    Ive been a fool for believing that a couple of times.
    Real male best friends dont annouce the status of the relationship.
    And yeah, there are special cases. I have one best friend now, male.
    Though he admitted later on that he met with me since he wanted me.
    But we got past that and thanks to his great character he never made a scene of it.
    I still meet up with him every week and its fantastic.

    So yes and no. Lmao, vague. I know.

  10. #35
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    Yes and No.
    Man that is whack!

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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chigumi View Post
    No. I havent had a single good friend that actually wanted to be friends only with me.
    I never trust a guy that openly says 'we are the best of friends'.
    Within a short amount of time they will try to touch or kiss you, unexpected.
    Ive been a fool for believing that a couple of times.
    Real male best friends dont annouce the status of the relationship.
    And yeah, there are special cases. I have one best friend now, male.
    Though he admitted later on that he met with me since he wanted me.
    But we got past that and thanks to his great character he never made a scene of it.
    I still meet up with him every week and its fantastic.

    So yes and no. Lmao, vague. I know.
    ...Yeah, thanks for swiping the rest of us guys onto one side. None of my close friends ever had the urge of touching or kissing a girl we were friends with and I'm sure I'm not alone when it comes to this. Sure, you do talk about looks, but not the whole: "Man I sure would like to bang her ". We do have some respect.
    Not everything is black and white like that.

  12. #37
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    Quote Originally Posted by Helvetica View Post
    ...Yeah, thanks for swiping the rest of us guys onto one side. None of my close friends ever had the urge of touching or kissing a girl we were friends with and I'm sure I'm not alone when it comes to this. Sure, you do talk about looks, but not the whole: "Man I sure would like to bang her ". We do have some respect.
    I talk from my experience. I also said there are good guys. They are just rare.
    And yeah... Ive met enough guys to know what an average guy is like.
    I just had lots of negative experiences with males in overall.
    Simply because I was kind and patient with them. They abused that all the way.
    Right now... I cant be all 'sugar and spice' about it anymore.
    But hey. Thats just one opinion from JUST somebody.
    Dont take it too personal/seriously. They asked for an opinion, I gave it

  13. #38
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    I think this video is relevant:



    xDD
    Last edited by DenjaX; 01-22-2012 at 10:24 PM.

  14. #39
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    yes its possible i have a few that i became friends with they n are still friends with that i am not attracted to


  15. #40
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    It's possible. Just make sure you're not sending them mixed signals, cause then you could be unintentionally leading them onto thinking that you're interested in them then more than just a friend.

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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    Yes. Since highschool I was good friends with most the girls in the boarding house without having any romantic feelings involved. Now in uni, since all my friends are ~25 years old, we always meet up with girls and guys for casual beer in a friend's house without there being weird tension in the air.
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  17. #42
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    Quote Originally Posted by DenjaX View Post
    I think this video is relevant:



    xDD
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  18. #43
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    THis is a great question! I think you can be friends with the opposite sex as only friends, but its definately not going to be the same kind of relationship as it would be with the same sex. And there's definately going to be a lot of instances where they may think of each other as more than just friends. Long term relationships from my experience usually do start as friendships. Take for instance lovely clomplex. No spoiler of you haven't seen it but they started out with absolutely zero atraction and just clicked as friends turning into something more lol. But there cab definately be guy girl friendships.

    The benefits! (And no not talking about those kind) you can definately get a lot of dating advice and actual work with them to be with someone you like lol again going back to lovely complex.

    And I know most guys don't like to go shopping but I do especially with girls lol they can give me a lot of fashion advice and I can do the same for them lol. I like the girls point of view helps me decide what to buy and what other girls might find attractive

    ---------- Post added at 10:09 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:06 AM ----------

    Sorry for all the typos lol I have to use my phone ahah :P

  19. #44
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    First, ask yourself this question: what is your definition of friendship? And what do you value most in friendship?

    ------
    In my book, I can be friends with anyone regardless of gender.

    Boys and girls can be friends. I have a lot of guy friends and I'm all fine with that.


  20. #45
    Senior Member mrpineapple has a reputation beyond repute mrpineapple has a reputation beyond repute mrpineapple has a reputation beyond repute mrpineapple has a reputation beyond repute mrpineapple has a reputation beyond repute mrpineapple has a reputation beyond repute mrpineapple has a reputation beyond repute mrpineapple has a reputation beyond repute mrpineapple has a reputation beyond repute mrpineapple has a reputation beyond repute mrpineapple has a reputation beyond repute mrpineapple's Avatar
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    I've got loads of friends that are girls. Just treat them the same as your other friends :P

  21. #46
    Junior Member Shinblue has a reputation beyond repute Shinblue has a reputation beyond repute Shinblue has a reputation beyond repute Shinblue has a reputation beyond repute Shinblue has a reputation beyond repute Shinblue has a reputation beyond repute Shinblue has a reputation beyond repute Shinblue has a reputation beyond repute Shinblue has a reputation beyond repute Shinblue has a reputation beyond repute Shinblue has a reputation beyond repute Shinblue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jacob's Ladder View Post
    No....there will always be one of the 2 that will develop feelings more than just friendship. It's how we are designed to be...on a genetic level. With exception being those of a gay nature.

    No. I am very close friends with a girl in my class, and I can admit that she is very pretty, but we have no sexual intentions for each other. And I'm not gay, so it has nothing to do with that.

  22. #47
    Senior Member Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chigumi:2641836
    No. I havent had a single good friend that actually wanted to be friends only with me.
    I never trust a guy that openly says 'we are the best of friends'.
    Within a short amount of time they will try to touch or kiss you, unexpected.
    Ive been a fool for believing that a couple of times.
    Real male best friends dont annouce the status of the relationship.
    And yeah, there are special cases. I have one best friend now, male.
    Though he admitted later on that he met with me since he wanted me.
    But we got past that and thanks to his great character he never made a scene of it.
    I still meet up with him every week and its fantastic.

    So yes and no. Lmao, vague. I know.
    Thanks for the example Chigumi. This is what I'm talking about. The fact that one party or the other will eventually want more from the "friendship" aspect is inevitable.

    Ask yourselves this question, "Why am I friends with xxxxx....?" And don't say, "cuz they're a good listener." That's a cop out and you know it.

  23. #48
    4: [Classified brah] Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris has a reputation beyond repute Eris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    Just be a nice guy. This will place you slap bang in the middle of the friend zone. And you'll never get out of there, try as you might.

    I've derived this piece of scientific fact from sitcoms.
    Last edited by Eris; 02-01-2012 at 02:06 PM.

  24. #49
    google.translate for the win! SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys's Avatar
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jacob's Ladder View Post
    Ask yourselves this question, "Why am I friends with xxxxx....?" And don't say, "cuz they're a good listener." That's a cop out and you know it.
    But what if that is my answer? o_o
    Sol, vind och vatten är det bästa som jag vet
    men det är på dig jag tänker i hemlighet
    Sol, vind och vatten, höga berg och djupa hav
    Det, är mina drömmar vävda av

    Full song, click, and text and translation to the song above, click.
    One of my absolute favorite summer songs.



  25. #50
    Senior Member Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder has a reputation beyond repute Jacob's Ladder's Avatar
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    Default Re: Possible to just be friends with the opposite gender?

    Quote Originally Posted by SuXrys View Post
    But what if that is my answer? o_o
    You make my head hurt....

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