Can you be unhappy with gifts?

[SuXrys]

Is it allowed to be unhappy with gifts that you recive, or do you have to be satisfied with what you get?

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

You mean like making an scene?

I don't like getting clothes from people that don't know me well, if that's what you mean. They either get my size wrong or it's not my style is that you mean. But I don't go and be like "Yo! I don't like your gift!".

[SuXrys]

You mean like making an scene?

That, or just being ungrateful in general.
Just unhappy in general; maybe asking for the receipt so you can trade it for something else.

Those kind of things.

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

That, or just being ungrateful in general.
Just unhappy in general; maybe asking for the receipt so you can trade it for something else.

Those kind of things.

It depends on the gift, I guess...like clothes or anything that requires a size or look.

But plain out asking for a receipt is rude.

[SuXrys]

It depends on the gift, I guess...like clothes or anything that requires a size or look.

But plain out asking for a receipt is rude.

So what do you do with a gift that you don't want at all? Perhaps a gift that you have told people many times that you don't want for different reasons, maybe don't have any room for it, already have x-number of that thing or perhaps even can't have it because you are allergic to it? But still every year, you'll get it - despise how many times you have told people that you don't want it. What do you do?


--
Im not in this situation myself, I just find the topic interesting.

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

So what do you do with a gift that you don't want at all? Perhaps a gift that you have told people many times that you don't want for different reasons, maybe don't have any room for it, already have x-number of that thing or perhaps even can't have it because you are allergic to it? But still every year, you'll get it - despise how many times you have told people that you don't want it. What do you do?


--
Im not in this situation myself, I just find the topic interesting.

In my eyes, if it's a good friend or a family member I'll tell them after...not straight away. If it's a someone I'm no close with...I don't really do it since I don't know them like that so it's more rude to me.

[Datenshi]

So what do you do with a gift that you don't want at all? Perhaps a gift that you have told people many times that you don't want for different reasons, maybe don't have any room for it, already have x-number of that thing or perhaps even can't have it because you are allergic to it? But still every year, you'll get it - despise how many times you have told people that you don't want it. What do you do?


--
Im not in this situation myself, I just find the topic interesting.

Realistically speaking, in this case, one highly probable explanation is that the person is already in the habit of giving the very same item to several people every year, and can't be bothered to change his/her pattern of behavior for the sake of one person (it's already marked down as such on his/her list of things to do for the year, so to speak). Maybe he/she is in a position to get the items cheaply or conveniently (my grandmother always sends me tons of produce from her fields), or maybe the act of going out shopping to buy them at this time of the year has come to take on a sort of symbolic significance for that person (as a sort of annual tradition), etc.

The way I see it, if you've (politely) let them know they shouldn't mind sending you the gift this year, and they do send it to you regardless, you can always get rid of it discreetly or pass it off to someone else, with nobody the wiser.

[Derrick Remon]

You can be disappointed at times, but free is free.

[sgtscott658]

Hi-

I would say suck it up and drive on. Its the thought that counts I think. And be gratful you got something at least.


Scott

[Ranshiin]

A lot of times I've been a little disappointed with the presents I've gotten - such as one year I got a shirt, which was nice and all, but it was unfortunately far too small for me to wear.

Of course, nobody is perfect; I'm not going to say I don't want the presents, because that would be rude. But these days all I get is clothes and Toblerone, so most people tend to ask me beforehand if the clothes are acceptable. I know it means it's not much of a 'surprise' but in this day and age and especially at my age I'm not going to complain about that.

My sister did surprise me with some shirts that she probably asked mum if they'd fit me, but they did make my Christmas since I didn't expect them and that one of them just says "meh." on it made me laugh.

Then again, at my age the whole sparkle behind Christmas has kinda faded. As annoying and/or hipster as I may sound, by the time you hit 21 Christmas isn't really that big a deal for you anymore. Usually because you're too old to be given lavish gifts and even if your parents wanted to you'd probably already bought them with your own money O_o;

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

@SuXrys

Like Eris and I said already; people don't have to give you crap at all. Getting gifts is a privileged, not something you're entitled to.

Just don't use it or sell it...which that's bad in a way, it's a lot better and less rude than screaming at the person's face telling him/her how dense she/he is.

[SuXrys]

@SuXrys

Like Eris and I said already; people don't have to give you crap at all. Getting gifts is a privileged, not something you're entitled to.

Just don't use it or sell it...which that's bad in a way, it's a lot better and less rude than screaming at the person's face telling him/her how dense she/he is.

Again, this was something she could need to go to the hospital for, even if it's still in the same room as her. So it's a serious allergy.
You can get a hard time breathing, and perhaps needs to go acute to the hospital. I think it's hard to be grateful for a gift like that.

Now it sounds like someone being well-mannered is far more important then someones healt. I just can't agree on that one.

I don't know what I should've done... It's hard to know since Im not even that allergic to anything. A part of me feels like it's totally alright to tell them one thing or another - since it's her health and possible her life we are talking about, but the other part of me feels that it's just so foreign for me to actually "snap" at someone like that when getting a present... It feels really rude, I admit that but in the end.. I think (if it where me) that after a certain number of times getting that presents, and after a number of times saying that I can't tolerate it exc (but said in a nice way) I think I actually would snap eventually. But now Im just imagining in my head how it would be to be that allergic to something - I have no idea at all. I can only imagine and belive, and hope, that someone will and should put their health/life infront of being nice and well-mannered.

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No one in here who is really allergic? Or knows someone who is that? What would you have done?

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

Again, this was something she could need to go to the hospital for, even if it's still in the same room as her. So it's a serious allergy.
You can get a hard time breathing, and perhaps needs to go acute to the hospital. I think it's hard to be grateful for a gift like that.

Now it sounds like someone being well-mannered is far more important then someones healt. I just can't agree on that one.

I don't know what I should've done... It's hard to know since Im not even that allergic to anything. A part of me feels like it's totally alright to tell them one thing or another - since it's her health and possible her life we are talking about, but the other part of me feels that it's just so foreign for me to actually "snap" at someone like that when getting a present... It feels really rude, I admit that but in the end.. I think (if it where me) that after a certain number of times getting that presents, and after a number of times saying that I can't tolerate it exc (but said in a nice way) I think I actually would snap eventually. But now Im just imagining in my head how it would be to be that allergic to something - I have no idea at all. I can only imagine and belive, and hope, that someone will and should put their health/life infront of being nice and well-mannered.

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No one in here who is really allergic? Or knows someone who is that? What would you have done?

Just don't use it or get near it. o_o;;

[SuXrys]

Just don't use it or get near it. o_o;;

I think it's hard to do if someone comes and gives you the presents, like walks to you and then litteraly places the gift in your hands.
Or, if someone has wrapped it into alot of paper and then you notice it while opening the gift. o_o

[Hanamaru Kunikida]

I think it's hard to do if someone comes and gives you the presents, like walks to you and then litteraly places the gift in your hands.
Or, if someone has wrapped it into alot of paper and then you notice it while opening the gift. o_o

You're putting way too much thought into something so trivial, dear.

[wolfgirl90]

I have a saying that goes:

"I know its the thought that counts. But if you weren't thinking, does it count?"

I am a little eccentric, so I don't have the same tastes that my family does. But, my tastes aren't really a secret, so it always perplexes me when when they end up buying me something I will never use or wear. For example, my mother knows that I love black and spikes, so one of the things she bought me was a spiked wristband. Loved it. But my uncle and cousins, despite their knowledge of my tastes (which they must know since they see me many times a year wearing precisely that), they bought me a deep blue scarf. Now, while my cousin specifically picked out the dark color for me (knowing I like dark colors), I never wear scarves and have almost no desire to wear them. So now what? Last year, I got two wallets from family members (one from the previously mentioned uncle and cousin), but I use neither, since I don't have any need for a new wallet nor did I express any need for one.

So now did I not only receive something that I don't like, I'm also saddled with it too (one year later, those wallets are still in the closet). Most of the gifts that I receive from extended family are things I can't use (e.g. two extra wallets, a pink jacket, makeup). They usually consist of items that they either think that I would like as a girl (NEVER a good idea; I'm not girly) or something they just thought up the day before (my sister and two of my other female cousins also received scarves ). The gifts feel like an obligation, that I have to receive something since they are going to the house of the family matriarch and I just happen to live in the same darn house. So they usually give me something without thinking about it.

The admission from my cousin that he picked out the color of my scarf is the first time in years that I have heard about any thought processes going on when it came to my gift. That felt nice (I might even stomach wearing the scarf). But receiving a gift that had no other point behind it than to be seen giving one (like a wallet I don't need)? At that point, receiving the gift doesn't feel good anymore.

[Meenah]

A few times I've been disappointed with gifts for these reason: it doesn't work, it doesn't fit, or it's not something of my interest.
Which is pretty rare for me. Other than that, I try to think that they spend the time trying to get me something and I do believe that thought counts. I mostly get disappointed when something doesn't fit me or the item doesn't work. I feel all sad. :c

[Derrick Remon]

A few times I've been disappointed with gifts for these reason: it doesn't work, it doesn't fit, or it's not something of my interest.
Which is pretty rare for me. Other than that, I try to think that they spend the time trying to get me something and I do believe that thought counts. I mostly get disappointed when something doesn't fit me or the item doesn't work. I feel all sad. :c

Its the thought that counts?

[SuXrys]

you can always get rid of it discreetly or pass it off to someone else, with nobody the wiser.

Ah! And then it becomes one of those gifts that just passed around through the family! xD

I have a saying that goes:

"I know its the thought that counts. But if you weren't thinking, does it count?"

It might be my limit knowledge in the english lanugage that is bothering my right now, but I don't understand that saying.
Can you explain it?

A few times I've been disappointed with gifts for these reason: it doesn't work, it doesn't fit, or it's not something of my interest.
Which is pretty rare for me. Other than that, I try to think that they spend the time trying to get me something and I do believe that thought counts. I mostly get disappointed when something doesn't fit me or the item doesn't work. I feel all sad. :c

If the item doesn't work, or if it doesn't fit you - do you ever ask for a receipt?

[Remosaic]

[COLOR=white]


It might be my limit knowledge in the english lanugage that is bothering my right now, but I don't understand that saying.
Can you explain it?

I think if refers to how much the person cares about your approval of the gift. Some people could care less how much you like a gift or not so they buy some crap that you don't want just because it was on sale. You can usually gauge how much thought they put into a gift by their eager expression when your opening it.

If they really do care less, then should the gift really mean anything to you?

[wolfgirl90]

It might be my limit knowledge in the english lanugage that is bothering my right now, but I don't understand that saying.
Can you explain it?

People often say that "its the thought that counts", that even though the gift may not be something that you wanted, the fact that someone took the time to think of you and get you a gift in the first place is what should matter in the end.

However, my phrase poses the question "if you weren't thinking, does it count?" If you don't take someone's wants and needs (or even tastes) into consideration, or even worse, if you weren't actually thinking about whether the person would like the gift and are just going through the motions of giving them something (as if its an obligation), than does the gesture still count as "thoughtful"? Should one still give credit to a person for giving a gift when no actual thought was put into getting it?

[aerophobia]

People often say that "its the thought that counts", that even though the gift may not be something that you wanted, the fact that someone took the time to think of you and get you a gift in the first place is what should matter in the end.

However, my phrase poses the question "if you weren't thinking, does it count?" If you don't take someone's wants and needs (or even tastes) into consideration, or even worse, if you weren't actually thinking about whether the person would like the gift and are just going through the motions of giving them something (as if its an obligation), than does the gesture still count as "thoughtful"? Should one still give credit to a person for giving a gift when no actual thought was put into getting it?

NO, they should not...BUT usually what happens is you get a gift that you think is something like what you said above but you dont want to say anything just in case. Either because its from a family member or you're just not a pushy person and youd rather not risk offending them. Some people are just bad at picking out gifts, or it could just be a family member or friend you dont see often or haven't see in awhile so they dont know much of what to get for you so they try but fail and then you just think they didnt try at all.
But yeh, i mostly just grin and bear it when i get a bad gift. (Unless its clothes. if its clothes i just hold it up to me so they can see it wont fit and say something in a jokingly way and the other person will usually just offer the receipt then) I can just re-gift the item or give it away, if its clothes i can give it to charity.

[International 4-8818]

If i got a box full of aids, I would be pretty damn unhappy.

[Xeyuzio]

I like to be honest, let's just keep it at that.

[Remosaic]

I have a saying that goes:

"I know its the thought that counts. But if you weren't thinking, does it count?"

That my friend is an awesome quote!

No lie. Buying gifts is tough!
So I think about that when I open mine. Any amount of thought I can tell was put into it is appreciated.
Besides that...I prefer giving gifts anyway. Gives me an opportunity to sneak around. ;3
*sleuth* *stealthy* *sneak*