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Thread: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

  1. #51
    Senior Member SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hideki Motosuwa. View Post
    Lol, it just means you're doing something really weird, or too much out of the ordinary. Mainly, I think it's just guys who try and attempt something they simply cannot do to impress a girl. It's okay to brag, but only about things you're capable of.
    Aha, I see.
    Thank you for the lesson! ;D

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  2. #52
    Member Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

    on black friday i randomly asked a girl for her phone number that i had been standing next to while her mom and dad was there was nerve wrecking lol but i felt great afterwards i know i would have felt down if she had rejected me however, I also find it easier to date people that i clearly establish im interested in at the begining of the relationship rather then dating people I had started being friends with, im a shy introvert so its hard for me to ask girls out lol

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  4. #53
    Nice Boat Captain Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa.'s Avatar
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    Post Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

    Quote Originally Posted by SuXrys View Post
    Aha, I see.
    Thank you for the lesson! ;D
    No problem
    Quote Originally Posted by Kazama1990 View Post
    on black friday i randomly asked a girl for her phone number that i had been standing next to while her mom and dad was there was nerve wrecking lol but i felt great afterwards i know i would have felt down if she had rejected me however, I also find it easier to date people that i clearly establish im interested in at the begining of the relationship rather then dating people I had started being friends with, im a shy introvert so its hard for me to ask girls out lol
    Ah, that's rather brave of you to ask a girl for her number, considering your introvert and shy. I know the feeling. Good for you man.

    Oh, Hi-deeki, imagine... your kind not eating raw fish! ^_^


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  5. #54
    Senior Member CapitŠn has a reputation beyond repute CapitŠn has a reputation beyond repute CapitŠn has a reputation beyond repute CapitŠn has a reputation beyond repute CapitŠn has a reputation beyond repute CapitŠn has a reputation beyond repute CapitŠn has a reputation beyond repute CapitŠn has a reputation beyond repute CapitŠn has a reputation beyond repute CapitŠn has a reputation beyond repute CapitŠn has a reputation beyond repute CapitŠn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kazama1990 View Post
    on black friday i randomly asked a girl for her phone number that i had been standing next to while her mom and dad was there was nerve wrecking lol but i felt great afterwards i know i would have felt down if she had rejected me however, I also find it easier to date people that i clearly establish im interested in at the begining of the relationship rather then dating people I had started being friends with, im a shy introvert so its hard for me to ask girls out lol
    The heck? Did you just meet this girl right there and then? Or did you already know her previously?
    ....

  6. #55
    Senior Member solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kazama1990 View Post
    on black friday i randomly asked a girl for her phone number that i had been standing next to while her mom and dad was there was nerve wrecking lol but i felt great afterwards i know i would have felt down if she had rejected me however, I also find it easier to date people that i clearly establish im interested in at the begining of the relationship rather then dating people I had started being friends with, im a shy introvert so its hard for me to ask girls out lol
    That takes some moxy to do that with her folks right there. I present Kazama: Winner of the "You DA Man Award".
    It's always in the last place you'd think of looking!


  7. #56
    Great Witch of Britannia wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

    Quote Originally Posted by SuXrys View Post

    Yeah... but still. If a girl clearly doesn't understand the "hint" then it's better to be straightforward then thinking afterwards if she would've liked it or not. And yeah... I don't do coffee either. But if someone doesn't like it, and they actually do consider to atleast chat with you some more, then Im quite sure that they will say something like "oh no I don't drink coffee! (laughter) But how about x?" or something something.
    Oh, I usually make another suggestion. But most guys I've encountered have tried the same trick over and over again, and it annoys me a little and the only reason it does is because these guys are usually people that I have encountered on a regular basis. There are some things people may not know about me (my laced arm warmers and my Tripp pants don't really point to Disney movies but I'm a huge fan of them) but there are other things people should figure out.

    I've never been seen with a coffee cup, so why ask about coffee (a situation compounded by the fact that I drink tea in public all the time)? I have a sticker on my laptop (that I ALWAYS carry to class) that says "Team Shut-the-hell-up", so why would you ask me to go to a Twilight movie?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hideki Motosuwa. View Post
    From the way you explain things, it sounds messy XD It seems, the guy who likes you, will lose either way.
    Yeah, I'm...complicated. I don't know. Years of people playing tricks on me have made me a bit wary of relationships outside my inner circle, which is why most of my relationships involved people I already knew and hung out with, versus random people asking me for coffee.
    This is my war face.

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  8. #57
    Yoko Littner Fan Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfgirl90 View Post
    I've never been seen with a coffee cup, so why ask about coffee (a situation compounded by the fact that I drink tea in public all the time)? I have a sticker on my laptop (that I ALWAYS carry to class) that says "Team Shut-the-hell-up", so why would you ask me to go to a Twilight movie?
    Yeah, these things use to confuse me too. But I started to notice a few things and it all started to make sense.

    1. (Elementary) I realized that I wasn't the center of the universe. I gotta tell you that was a mind = blown moment right there. I mean why else would the sun rotate around me? Why else do things get small when they're far away?

    2. (Middle) I realized that most people are oblivious to most of the things I do... unless they are bad things. Elie always had trouble remembering when I lent him 5 bucks, but that time I tripped him in PE? He never seemed to forget it.

    3. (High) I realized that even the people who know me best still seem to forget the most basic things. I don't want mayo in my sandwich. Mom, you don't have to make a sandwich, but if you do hold the mayo. Mom, what are you doing? "Spreading mayo on your sandwich", she says. What did I just say? "Oops."

    So, somehow it all makes sense now. To think that it all is pretty much just a logical consequence of what I learned in elementary.

  9. #58
    The Palmtop Tiger blueangel06661 has a reputation beyond repute blueangel06661 has a reputation beyond repute blueangel06661 has a reputation beyond repute blueangel06661 has a reputation beyond repute blueangel06661 has a reputation beyond repute blueangel06661 has a reputation beyond repute blueangel06661 has a reputation beyond repute blueangel06661 has a reputation beyond repute blueangel06661 has a reputation beyond repute blueangel06661 has a reputation beyond repute blueangel06661 has a reputation beyond repute blueangel06661's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

    I still don't see why people hate the friend zone? Here gather around little children I'm going to tell a story.

    Back in 7th grade I REALLLLY Liked this kid in my class who just moved here. Well actually at first I hated them, but he grew on me. The first few months we were not really "friends" Just distant class mates. ALL of the girls were into him and of course I could've cared less. Until one afternoon I was 3 way chatting with some of my friends. [oh the glory 3way phone call days] And they would NOT quit talking about him. Well that night I had a dream about him for the first time. "uh oh" and there was no going back after that.... Well at some point I got sick... So at home I was creepin' on his myspace and he had his phone number on it so I grew some female balls and started texting him [creeper] and we actually became somewhat friends so by time I got better we started sitting next to each other in class. And in the remainder of my middle school years the whole school pretty much caught on that I liked this kid and I had no problems admitting it to him himself but of course every now and then I'd get the "why don't you just ask him out? You guys are literally hip buddies" Because for some reason we always ended up next to each other without even trying lmao. I always told whoever asked "No.. If I were to date him, the minute we broke up that's our friendship down the drain.." I knew I had the choice of my dream of dating them with all the benefits & perks for about a month or so [come on even as a middle schooler I knew it wouldn't last] or I could enjoy the friendship for a much longer time. People always looked at me like I was crazy. And occasionally classmates would try to keep us appart. That got annoying. Anyhow long story short, they moved in the summer between middle school and high school. I remained his friend throughout high school even though they lived 6hrs away compared to everyone else just because I stuck myself in the friend zone on my own. It was worth it.

    But of course after graduating hs many years from our original encounter in middle school they sparked a quite interesting deal that would've brought me out of that friendzone.... Buuuuut I have a boyfriend.... :]

    Sometimes it's worth it to wait out the friendzone if you know what you're doing.. Is pretty much the summary of what I was trying to say.


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  10. #59
    Nice Boat Captain Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa. has a reputation beyond repute Hideki Motosuwa.'s Avatar
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    Post Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

    Quote Originally Posted by blueangel06661 View Post
    So at home I was creepin' on his myspace and he had his phone number on it so I grew some female balls and started texting him [creeper] and we actually became somewhat friends so by time I got better we started sitting next to each other in class.
    Off topic here, but I find young people reckless if they don't set their profile to private and end up making their phone numbers available on their profiles.


    On topic: cool story. But I still think the friend zone sucks XD

    Oh, Hi-deeki, imagine... your kind not eating raw fish! ^_^


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE38SKRT4ak



  11. #60
    Great Witch of Britannia wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

    Quote Originally Posted by blueangel06661 View Post
    Sometimes it's worth it to wait out the friendzone if you know what you're doing.. Is pretty much the summary of what I was trying to say.
    Nobody is saying that just being friends is inherently a bad thing. Just that its bad when you've attempted to make the leap to the next level and get shot down back to the friend zone. Let's pull up that picture again:



    Look at that big leap Mario is making. If he makes it to the other side, great for him; its an amazing accomplishment. If he misses and fails, he's going to have a long fall back to where he started from (IF he makes it back).

    As you mentioned in your story, you had a choice: you could remain friends (just friends) or take a chance at a relationship. As you pointed out, if you had decided to engage in a relationship, you were going to take a chance at losing your overall friendship if the relationship went sour.

    THAT is what we are talking about. The friend zone isn't bad by itself, but it becomes a bad place to be when you were ready to go to that next level, and you thought that the other person wanted to go there as well, only to be shot down with the "let's just be friends" line. As I posted before, not only is it maddening to merely be friends with somebody that you were attracted to (and who you thought felt the same way), but the rejection also causes questions to pop up, questions that could ultimately impact the friendship as a whole.
    Last edited by wolfgirl90; 11-30-2011 at 01:58 PM.
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  13. #61
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    Default Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfgirl90 View Post
     
    Nobody is saying that just being friends is inherently a bad thing. Just that its bad when you've attempted to make the leap to the next level and get shot down back to the friend zone. Let's pull up that picture again:



    Look at that big leap Mario is making. If he makes it to the other side, great for him; its an amazing accomplishment. If he misses and fails, he's going to have a long fall back to where he started from (IF he makes it back).

    As you mentioned in your story, you had a choice: you could remain friends (just friends) or take a chance at a relationship. As you pointed out, if you had decided to engage in a relationship, you were going to take a chance at losing your overall friendship if the relationship went sour.

    THAT is what we are talking about. The friend zone isn't bad by itself, but it becomes a bad place to be when you were ready to go to that next level, and you thought that the other person wanted to go there as well, only to be shot down with the "let's just be friends" line. As I posted before, not only is it maddening to merely be friends with somebody that you were attracted to (and who you thought felt the same way), but the rejection also causes questions to pop up, questions that could ultimately impact the friendship as a whole.
    This deserves mention.

     
    Very well played.


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  14. #62
    Member Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990 has a brilliant future Kazama1990's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hideki Motosuwa. View Post
    No problem

    Ah, that's rather brave of you to ask a girl for her number, considering your introvert and shy. I know the feeling. Good for you man.
    Ah thanks Hideki, yah its mostly thanks to how chaotic everything one and that I was in a strange mood lol



    Quote Originally Posted by CapitŠn View Post
    The heck? Did you just meet this girl right there and then? Or did you already know her previously?
    Yah I had just met her, she was wearing an evenecence shirt while listening to music we were on opposite sites of a booth so we didnt even get a chance to make small talk but I noticed her glancing at me every once in a while lol was funny when our eyes would meet for a few seconds and we would both look away but yah after the fighting through crowds to get what I was after i went over to her side and told her id like to get her number so we could chat and get to know each other nd she said yah, we are still texting back and forth though now that I have lost the randomness factor i find myself at a loss with what to do we have seen a movie so yah guess time will tell

    Quote Originally Posted by solidarmor View Post
    That takes some moxy to do that with her folks right there. I present Kazama: Winner of the "You DA Man Award".
    Sweet thanks Ill put it right between my prized kingdom hearts wallscroll and my gaara wallscroll

  15. #63
    Senior Member tesaamari has a reputation beyond repute tesaamari has a reputation beyond repute tesaamari has a reputation beyond repute tesaamari has a reputation beyond repute tesaamari has a reputation beyond repute tesaamari has a reputation beyond repute tesaamari has a reputation beyond repute tesaamari has a reputation beyond repute tesaamari has a reputation beyond repute tesaamari has a reputation beyond repute tesaamari has a reputation beyond repute tesaamari's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

    giving hints may just lead to confusion.
    i think a guy should tell the girl if he wants/loves her.
    but of course he must make sure of his feelings first.
    well it's just my opinion

  16. #64
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    There is no "sure fire" way of doing this. You have feelings for someone, so you take that leap...but, you may end up like Icarus falling back to earth for a hard landing.

  17. #65
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    Default Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

    Quote Originally Posted by solidarmor View Post
    There is no "sure fire" way of doing this. You have feelings for someone, so you take that leap...but, you may end up like Icarus falling back to earth for a hard landing.
    Or have someone go Kano on you and rip your heart out of your chest.

    This is my war face.

    This is what happens to trolls who mess with me.

  18. #66
    Senior Member Anoleis has a reputation beyond repute Anoleis has a reputation beyond repute Anoleis has a reputation beyond repute Anoleis has a reputation beyond repute Anoleis has a reputation beyond repute Anoleis has a reputation beyond repute Anoleis has a reputation beyond repute Anoleis has a reputation beyond repute Anoleis has a reputation beyond repute Anoleis has a reputation beyond repute Anoleis has a reputation beyond repute Anoleis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?


  19. #67
    Junior Member breesteak is infamous around these parts breesteak is infamous around these parts breesteak is infamous around these parts breesteak is infamous around these parts breesteak is infamous around these parts breesteak is infamous around these parts breesteak is infamous around these parts breesteak's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courting: Direct or Indirect?

    Well, I tend to like it when a woman's (I'm a lesbian) direct with me. I tend to not get subtle hints, so yeah. My Lover is real straightforward so I'm glad for that, she doesn't mess around and got straight to the point. c:

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