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Thread: Relationship, nead help please. and be serious :)

  1. #26
    Great Witch of Britannia wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90's Avatar
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    Default Re: the color green

    Quote Originally Posted by OokamiYokai View Post
    and yes she also says alot to me you dont trust me and thanx for the turst ect. ive heard that quite alot
    Well, I think you need to grow a pair and confront her about this. Like I said before, girls can have male friends and still have a boyfriend, so the simple fact that she is hanging out with the other guy doesn't mean that she's cheating on you. However, it seems as if she is trying to make you feel jealous. I can't tell whether it is out of malice or if she just likes teasing you, but she is definitely trying to get under your skin, testing your insecurities, which is apparently really easy.

    Your problem is that you make it easy. If there is something that you don't like, you need to tell her. Now, she shouldn't be blocked from hanging out with her friends (even the male ones), but if you are insecure about her flirting with other guys (and again, let's face it, even with your approval, you are uncomfortable about her being with other guys), you need to tell her because it wouldn't be fair for you to be constantly tortured with the thought of her being with other guys while she flirts around, KNOWING that it upsets you. Just sitting around and approving of something that hurts you only makes it easier for her to walk all over you (and I think she knows she can).

    Again, I can't tell if she's actually cheating on you; some girls are the teasing type and she might just be one of them. However, since you are a sensitive guy, you shouldn't have to put up with this, even if you like her. Some guys can handle their girlfriend's flirtatious nature, but you can't. If she can tone it down (and I doubt she could; some people never change), it wouldn't be too much of a problem.

    But if she can't, well...your relationship is going to get pretty strained (if it hasn't already).
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  3. #27
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    Default Re: the color green

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfgirl90 View Post
    Well, I think you need to grow a pair and confront her about this. Like I said before, girls can have male friends and still have a boyfriend, so the simple fact that she is hanging out with the other guy doesn't mean that she's cheating on you. However, it seems as if she is trying to make you feel jealous. I can't tell whether it is out of malice or if she just likes teasing you, but she is definitely trying to get under your skin, testing your insecurities, which is apparently really easy.

    Your problem is that you make it easy. If there is something that you don't like, you need to tell her. Now, she shouldn't be blocked from hanging out with her friends (even the male ones), but if you are insecure about her flirting with other guys (and again, let's face it, even with your approval, you are uncomfortable about her being with other guys), you need to tell her because it wouldn't be fair for you to be constantly tortured with the thought of her being with other guys while she flirts around, KNOWING that it upsets you. Just sitting around and approving of something that hurts you only makes it easier for her to walk all over you (and I think she knows she can).

    Again, I can't tell if she's actually cheating on you; some girls are the teasing type and she might just be one of them. However, since you are a sensitive guy, you shouldn't have to put up with this, even if you like her. Some guys can handle their girlfriend's flirtatious nature, but you can't. If she can tone it down (and I doubt she could; some people never change), it wouldn't be too much of a problem.

    But if she can't, well...your relationship is going to get pretty strained (if it hasn't already).
    ^
    Such good writing! You explain it better then I can.
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  4. #28
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    Default Re: Relationship, nead help please. and be serious :)

    First and most important: do not get advice from women about situations like this (i.e. dating), because being a woman and dating a woman are two completely different things. You should get your advise from experienced dudes, particularly ones you know offline which care for you. I have dated women, and though don't care much about you, I'm just going to lay down some real talk to balance any other nonsense going on in this thread.

    Anyway, there are more red flags than a game of minesweeper up in this LDR. The relationship is no more worth saving than a totaled car is worth repairing. If she's teasing you, then she's playing games. This relationship game playing is an immaturity out of which only she herself must grow, and you can't do much about it. Your time is too valuable to spend waiting for her to grow up. I know what don't want to hear this. You'd probably prefer I construct a wall of text one how to keep the hope alive. I'm no text architect though.

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  6. #29
    google.translate for the win! SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys has a reputation beyond repute SuXrys's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationship, nead help please. and be serious :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Wio View Post
    First and most important: do not get advice from women about situations like this (i.e. dating), because being a woman and dating a woman are two completely different things. You should get your advise from experienced dudes, particularly ones you know offline which care for you. I have dated women, and though don't care much about you, I'm just going to lay down some real talk to balance any other nonsense going on in this thread.

    Anyway, there are more red flags than a game of minesweeper up in this LDR. The relationship is no more worth saving than a totaled car is worth repairing. If she's teasing you, then she's playing games. This relationship game playing is an immaturity out of which only she herself must grow, and you can't do much about it. Your time is too valuable to spend waiting for her to grow up. I know what don't want to hear this. You'd probably prefer I construct a wall of text one how to keep the hope alive. I'm no text architect though.
    What is it that you think is nonsense?
    Sol, vind och vatten är det bästa som jag vet
    men det är på dig jag tänker i hemlighet
    Sol, vind och vatten, höga berg och djupa hav
    Det, är mina drömmar vävda av

    Full song, click, and text and translation to the song above, click.
    One of my absolute favorite summer songs.



  7. #30
    Member OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationship, nead help please. and be serious :)

    i try to be as open minded as possble and take any advice i can. i dont see any nonncence here. and i would like to thank wolfgirl90 and Suxrys for taking the time to help . and yes, there might some/many red flags here. but im not gonna give up quite yet. i will atleast sitdown and talk with her before i do anything else.
    Last edited by OokamiYokai; 10-16-2011 at 05:05 PM.

  8. #31
    Junior Member Schildknecht has a reputation beyond repute Schildknecht has a reputation beyond repute Schildknecht has a reputation beyond repute Schildknecht has a reputation beyond repute Schildknecht has a reputation beyond repute Schildknecht has a reputation beyond repute Schildknecht has a reputation beyond repute Schildknecht has a reputation beyond repute Schildknecht has a reputation beyond repute Schildknecht has a reputation beyond repute Schildknecht has a reputation beyond repute Schildknecht's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationship, nead help please. and be serious :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Wio View Post
    First and most important: do not get advice from women about situations like this (i.e. dating), because being a woman and dating a woman are two completely different things. You should get your advise from experienced dudes, particularly ones you know offline which care for you. I have dated women, and though don't care much about you, I'm just going to lay down some real talk to balance any other nonsense going on in this thread.

    Anyway, there are more red flags than a game of minesweeper up in this LDR. The relationship is no more worth saving than a totaled car is worth repairing. If she's teasing you, then she's playing games. This relationship game playing is an immaturity out of which only she herself must grow, and you can't do much about it. Your time is too valuable to spend waiting for her to grow up. I know what don't want to hear this. You'd probably prefer I construct a wall of text one how to keep the hope alive. I'm no text architect though.

    It wouldnt matter Woman or not Many people are in situations like these( male or female ) So it will be fine to take advice from females as well these no Problem with that why are you being so why are you being Against Women and their advice for men? Any Gender can give good advice and it doesn't matter is your a woman, So Stop it. Wolfgirl90 is a Female with an Excellent Talent for Helping others and Does give Excellent Information Even better than you and your a male.

    @wolfgirl90 I love They way you write your words you make problems so clear and very understandable
    @SuXrys You do try and you also give out Excellent information and give it your best to explain to help others and others do appreciate thatvery much(:

  9. #32
    Great Witch of Britannia wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90 has a reputation beyond repute wolfgirl90's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationship, nead help please. and be serious :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Wio View Post
    First and most important: do not get advice from women about situations like this (i.e. dating), because being a woman and dating a woman are two completely different things.
    What if you are a woman who HAS dated a woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wio View Post
    You should get your advise from experienced dudes, particularly ones you know offline which care for you. I have dated women, and though don't care much about you, I'm just going to lay down some real talk to balance any other nonsense going on in this thread.
    Kinda interesting how say you're going to lay down some "real talk" when you just said that he should be taking advice from dudes offline. Really negates the point of you giving any more advice.

     
    Although I should point out that, while most people, including me and yourself, have basically been saying the same thing (confront her; if she changes, good; if she doesn't, dump her teasing butt), he shouldn't be taking any of us too seriously. These are the interwebz.


    Quote Originally Posted by Schildknecht View Post
    It wouldnt matter Woman or not Many people are in situations like these( male or female ) So it will be fine to take advice from females as well these no Problem with that why are you being so why are you being Against Women and their advice for men? Any Gender can give good advice and it doesn't matter is your a woman, So Stop it.
    Well, let me intervene for a moment. While Wio and I disagree on a lot of things (9 times out of 10, we are going to be on the opposite side of something), I actually agree with him on that point.

    He isn't saying that girls can't give good relationship advice AT ALL, but that, in this situation, the OP should be talking to a guy about this. I do feel a bit slighted that he would be invalidating what I am saying simply because I am female, but Wio is kinda right.

    Girls don't see things the same ways guys do. We just don't. I just happen to have been around A LOT of dudes and I play on both sides of the fence so I know what its like to date both guys and girls and the pangs that go with it (guys can't express their feelings and needs very well and girls can be selfish).

    Some girls can be rather blind to the needs of their partner (or if they see it, they don't give a damn, like the girl we are dealing with now), to the point where they don't realize that they are pissing off them off (and this happens whether that partner is male or female), so sometimes it isn't wise to take advice from girls on stuff like this. I have seen some people spew the "Do you trust her" card when, honestly, this isn't an issue of trust; it's an issue of dealing with an amazingly immature female.

    Some girls can be annoying with the "playing hard to get" game, at which point, one needs to make the decision to either stay and work on the relationship or dump her behind. There's no point in trying to fix something that's hopelessly broken; you're better off getting something new.
    Last edited by wolfgirl90; 10-16-2011 at 05:35 PM.
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  11. #33
    Yoko Littner Fan Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio has a reputation beyond repute Wio's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationship, nead help please. and be serious :)

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfgirl90 View Post
    What if you are a woman who HAS dated a woman?
    I figured someone might say this, but didn't want to have to go into any tangents in unless someone actually did. A woman dates women could give sound advice if they assume the situation of someone dating the girl as opposed to being the girl. This still doesn't take into account any differences between the behavior of a woman in response to a woman versus a woman in response to a man. I man who has dated a woman can't confuse the two, so I kept it simple.

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfgirl90 View Post
    Kinda interesting how say you're going to lay down some "real talk" when you just said that he should be taking advice from dudes offline. Really negates the point of you giving any more advice.:
    I had to do something in the case he didn't actually have such friends and was going to take this forum seriously. Sometimes I'm selfless like that.

    Quote Originally Posted by SuXrys
    What is it that you think is nonsense?
    Not to immediately dump a girl who is playing games like this. At best it's immature, at worst it's abusive. I wouldn't tell a girl "Us men can be rowdy, let him know you don't like being hit."

  12. #34
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    Default Re: Relationship, nead help please. and be serious :)

    Long distance relationships usually don't work for just this reason. I'm not saying it can't be made to work, but in every one of these stories I ever hear one or both parties thinks the other is cheating and half the time one or both of them are. I'd suggest putting the relationship on hold if you aren't going to be living together (meaning within an hour drive of one another) in the next 6 months to 1 year.
    Last edited by Manhattan_Project_2000; 10-16-2011 at 11:51 PM.
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  13. #35
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    Default Re: the color green

    Quote Originally Posted by SuXrys View Post
    [COLOR=white]
    Chicks are whacky? Ooooaaaah! Talk about judging every girl just the same! I guess you have bad experiences ... But anyway.
    I never said that her showing pics of the guy that's living with her is bad...I said it was inexcusable. There's no reason for it, point blank. And yes please don't take offense at this but most of you chicks at nut-bags. It's true, I've lived through some of the most ridiculous crap while dating. Had a chick blow a conversation about her highlights so out of proportion that she nearly jumped out of a moving car. Then again this girl was flipping nuts, and turned anything into an argument. When she wasn't talking to me, she was texting pics of her with her "girl friends" at some bar getting hit on by some strangers. But that was my fault, right....

    Another gal I dated seemed sweet enough. Liked anime, and games but was a total flirt. I asked her if she could show some class and not do that crap when she's out with me. I didn't care if she only "flirted" with a guy, sometimes it came in handy at a bar we would go to, and some shmuck would by her a drink on his tab, when she smiled and teased him. Saved me money, but it did cross the line if there was touching.

    All, I'm saying is that what this chick is doing can be taken as playing with this guys poor head. Like others have said if she gives him an attitude for conveying his feelings, then why should he bother being with her? Obviously it's ok for her to prance around playing "wrestler" with this guy that IS NOT known while she's supposed to be giving her attention to her boyfriend when he's calling to talk to her (what's so wrong with that?).

    If the guy that's she's toying about with knows that she is with someone, then he shouldn't be taking liberties with her while her boyfriend in not there (unless he's a total dick). Also, she should NOT be having 1-on-1 movie nights with this guy either. If it's with other people then there shouldn't be an issue.

    I know, I know...some girls can have guys as friends only...but ever is it rare that NOTHING happens. I'm not saying that he should tell her who she can and cannot be friends with, but he should be able to tell her, "Hey look, I don't get to talk to you all that often and I would appreciate it if that clown isn't around while I'm talking to you. Also, I don't appreciate you getting physical with him either...if he wants physical, tell him to wait till I get there...then he'll get all he wants and then some!"

    And if she gives him a tude for being honest with her, then he should pull the plug on the conversation and not talk to her for a while. "Thanks for the trust and not trusting me"...oh how I've heard those words only to find out the truth. I'm glad your relationship is an exception to the norm, but 90% of the time when something like this is happening there is always more going on than what is being said.

    I really hope that this can be worked out and salvaged. I really really do...I've been there and done that and I really hate seeing someone else go through it, as well.
    It's always in the last place you'd think of looking!


  14. #36
    Senior Member Equilibrium has a reputation beyond repute Equilibrium has a reputation beyond repute Equilibrium has a reputation beyond repute Equilibrium has a reputation beyond repute Equilibrium has a reputation beyond repute Equilibrium has a reputation beyond repute Equilibrium has a reputation beyond repute Equilibrium has a reputation beyond repute Equilibrium has a reputation beyond repute Equilibrium has a reputation beyond repute Equilibrium has a reputation beyond repute Equilibrium's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationship, nead help please. and be serious :)

    Quote Originally Posted by OokamiYokai View Post
    well, yes and no. but i have some trust issue, since she a teaser and that makes it hard for me sometimes tot rust her.

    Well, you kinda answered your own question. If your relationship has no 'Trust' it will fail.

    Have you met her folks or friends? If a girl is planning on using you and then kicking you to the curb, she won’t bother introducing you to her friends and family.

    How is she on returning calls or texts? Being able to trust a girl has a lot to do with reliability and availability. If she’s the kind of girl who breaks plans at the last minute, takes days to call you back and is secretive about plans that don’t include you, you may have something to worry about.

    Has she ever lied to you or did you ever catch her in a lie? Even little white lies can be a problem if they are told frequently enough. Even if it’s about something as silly as her real hair color, a lie is an indication that she doesn’t have trouble deceiving you. Trivial falsehoods can grow into major betrayals in no time.


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    Default Re: Relationship, nead help please. and be serious :)

    Reading this thread was kind of informative...
    haha... the differences of female and male ideologies when it comes to relationships...

    anyhow, me and my ex(we broke up 2 months agO-->more or less) have been together for 3 years before we broke up...
    It was a LDR because I studied in a different place. The relationship was fine. He was never jealous even if I tease him about the guys I met in college. And if ever we are together and some girls flirt with him. I don't really give a damn. I own the guy, you can flirt all you want. He is still mine.
    Maybe you should adapt that attitude. Unless, you feel that you are losing her.
    Then, I guess it's better to let go now and find another relationship partner...

    ~Howl's Mistress Evil Twin from the Other Side here to save her from further humiliation...

    avenge me!..
    kill kill kill

    sig by .Elmer

  16. #38
    Member OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai has much to be proud of OokamiYokai's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationship, nead help please. and be serious :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Megamind's Minion View Post
    Reading this thread was kind of informative...
    haha... the differences of female and male ideologies when it comes to relationships...

    anyhow, me and my ex(we broke up 2 months agO-->more or less) have been together for 3 years before we broke up...
    It was a LDR because I studied in a different place. The relationship was fine. He was never jealous even if I tease him about the guys I met in college. And if ever we are together and some girls flirt with him. I don't really give a damn. I own the guy, you can flirt all you want. He is still mine.
    Maybe you should adapt that attitude. Unless, you feel that you are losing her.
    Then, I guess it's better to let go now and find another relationship partner...

    as for now it seems that things are actually workingout we had a discoucion about it all. She also apologized for her behavior so things are going better now and thank you all for helping out very friendly forum i also had some discousion with irl friends aswell and they gave me some good advice also very interesting to get peoples view on things

  17. #39
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    Default Re: Relationship, nead help please. and be serious :)

    good for you ... ^--^

    ~Howl's Mistress Evil Twin from the Other Side here to save her from further humiliation...

    avenge me!..
    kill kill kill

    sig by .Elmer

  18. #40
    Senior Member solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor has a reputation beyond repute solidarmor's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OokamiYokai:2612158
    as for now it seems that things are actually workingout we had a discoucion about it all. She also apologized for her behavior so things are going better now and thank you all for helping out very friendly forum i also had some discousion with irl friends aswell and they gave me some good advice also very interesting to get peoples view on things

    I sincerely hope you and your gf can open up to each other and be honest with your feelings. Its good to hear that you are both talking about this situation, and she is willing to apologize to you for role in this too. Keep us posted.

  19. #41
    The Savage. -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL-'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationship, nead help please. and be serious :)

    Tip 1: has it ever occurred to you that he might be gay?
    Tip 2: maybe they are just friends and you're simply being paranoid,
    Tip 3: learn how to spell
    Tip 4: if you think it is for real stomp the **** out of him, you won't have messed things up much worse with her and you'll feel better for it.

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