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Thread: Mr. Smiley

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    Default Mr. Smiley

    Mr. Smiley

    Candy-man I am, Candy-man.
    Taking you home with placid sweets
    Trembling in your cream, curled hand.
    Candy-man with overplayed promises
    And grimed lies behind white teeth, I am.

    Big blues eyes focus on me
    With a solemn moment of doubt in me.
    But a mouth full of smiles form naÔve
    Trust in me.
    Am I not but the knight you seek from your childish dreams?

    Such innocent desiderata will toil you open
    To pour out the fears in my iron hand.
    I wonít leave you.
    Iíll deceive you.
    Iíll see you prime to giving in.

    I am the echo in your breath;
    A fiery current bidding no
    Fair warning- only ashes
    That cling to the scolded land.
    Oh! Skeleton in the soiled morning.

    Now Iím feeling great with stone eyes
    And heart dry.
    But the dust on your tongue rushes
    Me to fade, and fade
    Before the burning of duskís tide.

    You put up a good fight
    My puppet of one night,
    But now the directorís bored
    With your fascist objections.
    So, Iíll curtain the set, credit my goodbye,

    And render the next audition.
    "I am, I am, I am."

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Mr. Smiley

    This poem has so much potential, but I have to say you lost me a little after the second stanza. Those first two stanzas are fantastic, but the rest of the poem doesn't quite fit that theme for me. If it was shorter and had more congruity throughout the poem, I think this could be one of the best poems I have read on this site.
    I need a new signature and I didn't know what to put, so I decided to throw this in.

    Also check out my blog at http://danielkamin.wordpress.com

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