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Thread: Woah, kids at what age!?

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    Default Woah, kids at what age!?

    I grew up around teen pregnancy; my high school has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the state, and probably one of the biggest in the country. After graduation, seems like it was only a few months to a year or two before everyone from my class had a kid, even though they were only 18, 19, 20 years old.

    I'm currently 21. Just found out today my ex-girlfriend who's 23 had a baby girl a few days ago, and I admit I'm happy for her. However, my current girlfriend today asked me, "When are we gonna have kids?" I told her truthfully, if indeed we do get married, I don't want kids till I'm in my 30's or 40's. She looked at me with slight disappoint, saying that the "prime" years for a woman to have a healthy child,is 25-27 years old, basically dropping the hint that she wants kids earlier than I do.

    At 25 years old, I'll either still be in the military, or just getting out. I wanna be able to teach in Japan and Germany before settling down with kids. I know my girlfriend wants to see the world too. And I know for sure the number one cause of people not living out their dreams, such as traveling, is because of children.

    So, tl;dr version, and my question to you AF, what is the "normal age" for having children, whether it be for the health of the mother and child, whether it be the maturity and readiness of the parents, share your thoughts please, and I hope this post isn't too blog like, if so I'll move it there.

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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    Sex sells. Sadly enough our society has brought this upon ourselves.


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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    I find it sad that "Pregnant at 15" is actually considered entertainment on MTV. Yes. Entertainment, people.

    That being said, the age for having kids matters, but NOT as much as other factors -- life stability, finances, maturity, and obviously it depends more on the two people raising the child. Obviously it isn't always two people raising a child, so in that case, the same applies to the woman.
    Last edited by Miss Electric Moonlight; 08-26-2011 at 07:42 PM.

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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    @Immoral That has nothing to do with the topic at hand. As for teen pregnancy I only saw one when I was in high school. Personally, I think it's a dumb move when you're that young but people make mistakes. As for the time period for healthy birth, that's just bull-crap. People in there 40's have had healthy babies. Sure the risk goes up as you get older but not enough to really effect much. If something's going to go wrong genetic wise there's a chance it'll happen no matter what age you choose to have a baby.

    EDIT: @Miss Moonlight Could be a single father. The woman could just as easily choose to dump the baby on that man.
    Last edited by GameGeeks; 08-26-2011 at 07:45 PM.

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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    If you think about it, you're in school until around 17-19 which means you've spent most of your life studying. After HS (and possible college and uni), that's when your life truly begins. You don't want to straight away go and settle down and have a family because you won't have time to do things you want to do like travelling and focusing on a successful career. Imo, an age I'd want to settle down and have kids is my early 30s. The only time you'd have for yourselves again are the Golden years (retirement) after all.
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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    Quote Originally Posted by GameGeeks
    EDIT: @Miss Moonlight Could be a single father. The woman could just as easily choose to dump the baby on that man.
    Very true.
    Last edited by Miss Electric Moonlight; 08-26-2011 at 07:53 PM.

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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Uta<3 View Post
    If you think about it, you're in school until around 17-19 which means you've spent most of your life studying. After HS (and possible college and uni), that's when your life truly begins. You don't want to straight away go and settle down and have a family because you won't have time to do things you want to do like travelling and focusing on a successful career. Imo, an age I'd want to settle down and have kids is my early 30s. The only time you'd have for yourselves again are the Golden years (retirement) after all.
    Or when you kick your kids out of the house at 18.

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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    Quote Originally Posted by GameGeeks View Post
    Or when you kick your kids out of the house at 18.
    Well that too, lol, but you'd most likely be around 50 when that happens so it's almost retirement. But also, you'd have to help your kids with college money most likely.
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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    My parent had me and my sister when they were both in their late thirties. We're both fine. I don't see why waiting later will irrevocably pervert your potential progeny.

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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    Well, most doctors would agree on the the right age for being about 20 to 27 years. It's the best "physiological age" for the human female body in terms of egg development and overall health (especially after-birth health and how the body recovers post-pregnancy). (Ask your gynecologist for their thoughts on the matter though.)
    Other than that, I feel that the right age is the age when you want a child for the right reasons. This is when you feel that you can take care of a child and that you can plan for a child in your life. For men, this is no problem, however, women have a limited time-frame for good viable eggs and a sturdy uterus. Women are more sensitive to the topic since they bear the heavier cost of child-rearing.


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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    My mom was 30 when she had me, and 33 when she had my youngest sister. All 3 of us were perfectly healthy when we were born. As long as the mother is healthy to have kids, takes care of herself while pregnant, and follows up with all of her appointments, it,s not too unreasonable for women to have kids when in their mid to upper thirties.

    Kids are expensive, time consuming, and at times very frustrating. That is something people don't take into account. It will make easier to wait until you at least have a job, a place to live, and the emotional maturity to have kids. Physical maturity is also important. (S-I-L was 16 when she got pregnant - she wasn't emotionally/mentally mature, as well as physically. Which is why her parents currently have custody and my neice has funny shaped head...)

    And if the pregnancy window is closed, there are always kids that need responsible adults to call parents.
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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Uta<3 View Post
    Well that too, lol, but you'd most likely be around 50 when that happens so it's almost retirement. But also, you'd have to help your kids with college money most likely.
    Yeah, they can get their own debt and if I can retire by 50 I'd be ecstatic.

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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Uta<3 View Post
    Well that too, lol, but you'd most likely be around 50 when that happens so it's almost retirement. But also, you'd have to help your kids with college money most likely.
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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    I, personally, don't believe that most parents these days are fit to have children and were too young.
    They don't know each other well enough and aren't financially or mentally stable for children.

    Taking on a child is a big responsibility and involves giving up a lot of freedom that many parents don't seem to want to do.
    My parents, and it's probably been heard many times before, were 19 and 21 when they got married. They then waited 14 years before they decided to have children (of course, they adopted due to medical issues on my mom side, but still).
    At that point they were set in their lives and ready to have children. They both think that even at their age they were too young to get married, much less have children.

    Many of my friend's parents are only in their late 30's, early 40's and I can see that their parents really don't know how to care for their children correctly and didn't get to know each other well enough before having them.
    My parents are often having to provide things for my friends and my dad is constantly asking why their parents don't care at all. We have to constantly remind him about how parents these days are irresponsible in comparison to when he was growing up and he just can't comprehend it half the time. How their parents could think giving their child a ride somewhere is too much work, or would send them off to an amusement park for the entire day with no money to buy water/food in the heat, or being okay with their children having bad grades and doing drugs.

    I think that people in their 20's still need to be able to get the kid out of them and settle down before they decide to have children.
    Even if the best time for them to have children, physically, is in their 20's, people these days just aren't mature enough to have children that young.


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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    I knew a lot of people who had kids between the ages of 13 and 16 - the typical high school years. My highschool had a daycare facility for the babies and infants of students; at the time there was 122 babies/children (there was roughly 5300 students attending the school).

    I have a hard time putting a "normal" age for childbirth. Years and years ago, it was a normal part of society that a woman in her late teens would have a child. Decades later, it became the early-to-mid-20s, and now it seems that the late 20s and early 30s are the general trend. I'd say, so long as the parents are able to support the child, the 20-35 is a good range.

    Having never been in a relationship myself, I've put little-to-no thought into the prospect of having children.

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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    Same as above ^^^^^^
    Late 20s and early 30s sound like the physically good time to have kids.
    But who are we to tell others when they should have kids? XD

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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    @Gjallarhorn Where'd you go to school. My school barely had a few hundred students.

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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    Quote Originally Posted by GameGeeks View Post
    @Immoral That has nothing to do with the topic at hand.
    How does it not?


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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Immoral View Post
    How does it not?
    This topic has nothing to do with the media's effect on teenagers. Not to mention it's not just the media at work, there's social pressure, peer pressure, insecurities, etc., that can lead to unwanted pregnancies. Or it could simply be a faulty condom or the pill didn't take. Either way it's not just the media.

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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    I think it depends on each individual couple. A friend of mine's parents had her pretty much right out of high school because at that time, they were ready and wanted a kid. They've done a fantastic job of raising her to be an upright, amazing human being. I've never actually met anyone with parents who had children at an older age who didn't end up getting divorced so I'm unable to put up any examples of that.
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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    children should not be having and or raising children.

    end of story.

    Also, having kids is largely overrated in the first place anyways. if people need something to love and nurture, they should get a pet or something.
    Last edited by Ericgamer1; 08-27-2011 at 12:46 AM.

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  30. #22
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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    Quote Originally Posted by GameGeeks View Post
    @Gjallarhorn Where'd you go to school. My school barely had a few hundred students.
    Brockton High School, in Brockton, Massachusetts. It's one of the largest highschools east of the Mississippi.

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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gjallarhorn View Post
    Brockton High School, in Brockton, Massachusetts. It's one of the largest highschools east of the Mississippi.
    And I thought mine was decent size, it's a pebble compared to yours.

  32. #24
    Senior Member Immoral has a brilliant future Immoral has a brilliant future Immoral has a brilliant future Immoral has a brilliant future Immoral has a brilliant future Immoral has a brilliant future Immoral has a brilliant future Immoral has a brilliant future Immoral has a brilliant future Immoral has a brilliant future Immoral has a brilliant future Immoral's Avatar
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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    Quote Originally Posted by GameGeeks View Post
    This topic has nothing to do with the media's effect on teenagers. Not to mention it's not just the media at work, there's social pressure, peer pressure, insecurities, etc., that can lead to unwanted pregnancies. Or it could simply be a faulty condom or the pill didn't take. Either way it's not just the media.
    I said society. The media is just one part of our society. Also, though you say this thread has nothing to do with the media effect on teenagers, indirectly it does.
    I grew up around teen pregnancy; my high school has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the state, and probably one of the biggest in the country.
    My statement was directed at that and the media does play a part in it. As does peer pressure and everything else you named off.

    Anyways, since you seem displeased with my post allow me to answer the actual question at the end. I believe that 30+ is a good age for children to be considered into a relationship for maturity reasons. As for the relationship.... In my opinion the couple should be together for at least 5 years. Short relationships and young parents are usually two big factors in separated families. This is, of course, just my opinion. Feel free to disagree with me.


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    Default Re: Woah, kids at what age!?

    I don't think there's really a "normal age" or standard age. But I don't think you should be that young when you have kids. IMO You should be at least in your mid-20s and above to have kids since you could already shoulder that responsibility. But I guess younger than menopausal since it might be also dangerous to the mother. But menopausal babies that I know are still well and healthy. So it's not really that grave of a danger.
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