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Thread: English to Japanese Song Translation

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    Default English to Japanese Song Translation

    I was given a request to translate an English song into Japanese the other day. The song is titled "Within You" and is from a movie some of you may remember entitled "Labyrinth". Older than me as it has it! xD
    Anyway, I tried doing it as best I could, but I don't think I'm conveying some parts poetically enough. Since this song is sung from the eyes of the Goblin King, I was perhaps wanting it to sound a little old yet powerful, but I wasn't sure how to do that. I was also tossing and turning as to whether "僕" or "俺" would be best to use. Anyway, please give me any suggestions and criticism because I would thrive off them. ^^


    Within You
    君の中で


    How you've turned my world, you precious thing
    You starve and near exhaust me
    Everything I've done, I've done for you
    I move the stars for no one
    俺の世界をいかにも逆様にしてくれた 大切な人よ
    俺を飢えさせて既の所で疲れ果てさせて
    総ては君の為にした事なのだ
    君の為であっても俺は星までは動かさない

    You've run so long
    You've run so far
    Your eyes can be so cruel
    Just as I can be so cruel
    Though I do believe in you
    Yes, I do
    長い間駆けていた 
    とても遠くへ駆けていった
    君の目は残酷に成りえる 
    俺も残酷に成りえるように
    それでも俺はまだ君を信じているけど 
    そう、君を信じよう

    Live without the sunlight
    Love without your heartbeat
    I can't live within you
    日光なしで生きろ 
    君のハートビートなしで愛せ
    俺は君の中で生きる事が出来ない

    Also, another thing I was trying to do was write the beginning of one of my stories in Japanese (as originally intended). There are a few lines that are being tricky with me, but the one I'm thinking of at the moment is the opening line which goes "Mankind has come to a standstill".

    I had two ideas for this:
    1) 人類は立ち往生することになる。
    2) 人類は停滞状態に墜ちいった。

    Are either of these suitable enough to say that? =x
    Last edited by Hikarin; 06-26-2011 at 01:48 AM.

    Currently listening to: Gin'iro Konpeitou Gakudan (Yura Hatsuki x Konori)'s "Gentou PAREEDO ~phantasm parade~"
    Currently playing: Breath of Fire III on PSP
    Currently watching: Kuroshitsuji


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