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Thread: Need a Little Help

  1. #1
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    Default Need a Little Help

    I've been trying to think of a way to best word an "endless winter" and the only thing I could really think of was either 果てしなく冬 or 長く冬. I guess 終わりも無い冬 might work too, but...
    To me, I see "hateshinaku" as more of a distance thing, but someone said it might be able to work that way....
    This is the sentence it will go in anyway:

    『何年にも続く戦いと長く冬の最中にやがっては総ての人にその名前を知られる英雄が現れるだろ う。
    ― 革命を求めて、カレは総ての悪を追いやる。
    その男しかし間だ若い青年の名前は 』

    早朝、微かな木漏れ日が樹幹から漏れている。
    このちらちら輝く光線は疲れた盛年の瞼の奥を押し開けて瞼を小刻みにただ瞬間に開けさせるが、盛年はこの邪 魔されない昏睡にまた落ちって行く。
    [Following parts are awaiting my translation]
    As an Autumn leaf landed upon the young man's battered and bloody face, the sound of feet and scattered voices could be heard approaching from somewhere amongst the trees.
    Stumbling across their sudden find, the party carefully carried the limp body, near void of life, through the woods and out of the dense, lingering darkness....

    Opinions? Also feel free to give a second opinion on a better way to word the sentences I did! xD




    Also, I've been trying to transcribe this from the booklet, but I can't read some of it. =x It's too unclear. I also inverted the booklet which helped me see a few characters better....

    Kapitel 4: 晎笑


    Wissilose Aldio, ih gilīhiu das Olei si desiu ana Rangiosōnflamma, sārio irbluhhen jā rennen frabaldlīhho Firlorannissa.
    Gislagan dweres dmu Faida, ir birut blint.
    Alsō diu Wīla faran, darafuri geltet ir iuwēre Sēla.

    Giwinn allero widari, was dū firliosan eigis.
    (愚かな人間ども
    ?かな風を起すだけで?る憎しみは炎となり、破滅へと(盲)進する
    憎悪に囚われ気付かないのだ
    その時が来たら大きな代償を支払わなければならない事を

    ―――取り戻せ、失ったもの全てを)


    Kapitel 5: 凋落

    Leidlih Meldāli, Wenzel(憎むべき裏切りの??者)
    翳(かざ)した剣に

    Giwinn dea Krōne widari(奪われた王冠を取り戻せ)
     祈るシーディエン

    渦を巻いた激情に 歪みゆく運命(さだめ)
    暗闇(やみ)に灯る蒼き焔 渇き果てる最後の涙(Trne)

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  2. #2
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    Default Re: Need a Little Help

    Forgot the image! ><

    Also, may as well as it here.... the most recent album by Seifuu Meigetsu contains both Kagome Kagome and Tooryanse.
    Can someone check I've understood this right since it is so old?
    http://hikarin96solas.wordpress.com/...kagome-kagome/
    Also, does anyone know how the game to Tooryanse goes? I only really know Kagome Kagome. ;p

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  3. #3
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    Default Re: Need a Little Help

    燻る憎しみ and 裏切りの簒奪者
    Also, I think it's supposed to be 哄笑 instead of 晎笑. (one stroke difference)
    I cannot make out the kanji before かな風 though... It's obvious it means "small" or "faint", but it doesn't look like kasuka or wazuka or honoka.


    To me, 果てしない is more like "boundless" in terms of distance like you said. You could try 終わらぬ for literally a winter that will never end, or 終わりの見えない for a winter with no end in sight.

    I'm confused by this line though: その男しかし間だ若い青年の名前は... Could you clarify the meaning here?

    Also, maybe it's just me, but isn't 木漏れ日 and 漏れている a bit redundant? And, 盛年 means one's prime years, so you probably want 青年 instead.


    Ugh, too tired for now. I'll come back later XD. おやすみ!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Need a Little Help

    There's an easy, easy way to make 果てしなく sound less technical.

    Drop the 'shi'. いや死ぬ気で!

    ...so that you know where you can find me

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Need a Little Help

    Quote Originally Posted by AzureDark View Post
    Drop the 'shi'. いや死ぬ気で!
    Ahahahahaha, I get it! ;D

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Need a Little Help

    @animeyay Ah, thank you! >< I mean, if it were an audible part in the lyrics, I'd be able to hear it and guess, but it's a translation of a language I'm still trying to work out (I can only think it might be Old High German). =_=

    Oooh, I really like the sound of "owari no mienai"! xD It's a little poetic to me. =3

    Hmmm.... Yes, I thought I might have worded that a little funny. I'm supposed to be saying "This man, no different from a boy, will go by the name of...."

    Yeah, I know. I don't like it either, but I don't know what else I want to put instead at the moment. =x And the two different "seinen" thing was a typo! xD


    @Azure .... Didn't even occur to me! xD But that's why other translators are great. They pick up things you don't. =3
    And aren't you creative today? =D

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  7. #7
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    Default Re: Need a Little Help

    Not really, it was just a reference to Ren'ai Circulation.

    ...so that you know where you can find me

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Need a Little Help

    Quote Originally Posted by AzureDark View Post
    Not really, it was just a reference to Ren'ai Circulation.
    AzureDark先輩の翻訳って、最近あまり目にしなくなってきたんだよね。
    皆のために、人類のために、世界平和のために、もっと翻訳してくださいよ。
    せっかくの才能なので、使わないのはもったいないじゃん?=D

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Need a Little Help

    ←情け無用怠け者

    ...so that you know where you can find me

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Need a Little Help

    ╮( ̄﹏ ̄)╭
    仕方がないなー

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Need a Little Help

    Awww, come now! I agree with ani ^^ So, I want you to do "Tomorrow" this week Azure.

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