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Thread: Friends with your ex possible?

  1. #1
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    Default Friends with your ex possible?

    D: I really don't know how people do this without having some type of nervous breakdown or something! >__<

    I'm trying to be friends with my ex and possibly patch stuff up between us that happened after our break up which really was kind of stupid and emotional way more than it needed to be...

    I am usually cool around my guy friends and stuff but the things he does is pretty annoying, first he points out other girls and how hot they are, then he asks me to go talk to them for him....THEN hes really needy for my attention and persists to bug me about every little thing (i dont really mind it that much but this is combined with the girl thing)
    Oh yeah and when I ask to hang out sometimes he blows me off and then gets mad at me later for it (i don't understand that one...)

    I can kind of deal with the other petty stuff but the girl thing really got to me, and he was doing it ALOT when we hung out one on one. Oh and he told me about the hickies and how many girls hit on him...<_< why would I want to know that???

    What do I do? Why is he doing that? Do I just ignore it the best I can? I'm so confused because I don't want to suddenly burst into tears like a frantic lunatic and look frail to him D: T_T
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  2. #2
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    It's possible, and I'm friends with an ex. However, it takes time. We took two years before we could be near each other again. We get along fine now.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    He doesn’t sound like he knows that he is bothering you so if I were you I would be blunt with him.
    I don’t like doing this that and this other thing and I will not be doing it again in the future. (You need to be blunt with these types of people)
    Speak your mind, I doubt your friends would be happy to know that you are keeping all this pent up inside.
    Besides it will find a way out eventually might as well let it out before it bursts out in some horrible emotional outburst.
    If he really cares for you as a friend he will understand.
    Best of luck.
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    I'm not friends with any of my exes, purely for the fact that they all treated me like s**t anyway >

    Let alone my most recent awful ex-boyfriend from just over 4 years ago now, who cheated on me three times >

    But that said, if you choose to remain friends with your own exes Meka Chan, then it's completely up to you ^^

  6. #5
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    I'm good friends with my X but we never had any problems in the first place. We were casual friends before dating and after. After we broke up I still stayed over at his house and when he moved out I still went over and spent evenings with his family though he wasn't there. Once even went to spend thanksgiving night with him and his family and at 12 midnight find myself in a car going to stay the night at his GFs house at the time even though I didn't know her at ALL. Talk about awkward.

    Haven't heard from him in about a year though. I guess we still get along because we didn't really "date" date.. But either way I hope if me and my bf break up that we'd still remain friends. I believe boyfriends should be best friends. And best friends don't leave because something just wasn't working out.


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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    I recently became friends with my ex from 3 years ago. It is possible, I mean, it's stupid to hold grudges.


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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    It's possible, you just have to tell him what bothers you, to me either he's doing it because he doesn't understand it's making you uuncomfortable because you aren't saying anything or he's doing it to make you jealous and likes pushing your buttons because you react to it ^^

    communication is what's lacking here, you need to tell him when to stop like you would any other friend if they were doing something annoying that you didn't like. that way you two can avoid emotional scenes like the ones in those annoying romance movies

    hang in there, like blueangel and kaitou stated just because something went wrong doesn't mean you guys need to be enemies

    taste the rainbow

  9. #8
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    Well first of all, it would depend on the reason both of you broke up. I mean people act differently towards their partners, and their friends. What I'm realizing is I guess your a bit jealous? or is just irritated by him sharing with you normally awkward topics specially with an ex.
    But do you usually not mind your other guy friends talking about these stuff to you? If you don't mind, but you mind if it's him, I think you're not ready to be friends o.o So if that's the case, have some time to go back to that state where you see him just as any guy friend and not as an ex.

    As for my experience, I hated how negatively different my ex and I were. But I have high tolerance towards the beliefs of my friends, but not partners. [specially if they refuse to hear me out, or lose]
    But I have plenty of guy friends too, and they talk about those kinda stuff you said, with what do, point out every hot girl, etc. And doesn't bother me. As for my ex, I also didn't mind, specially when he texted me one day saying "a hot senior chick asked me out!" Probably because I was just thinking, at least I'm not trapped in your insufficient arms. And my ex and I are still friends, just not very close because I really didn't like him after that.


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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    It's possible.. me and my ex broke up after over a year of dating and we are still close friends today. It will take some time though.. I wouldn't ignore him but also not pester him. If things are meant to work out they will.. but if he is trying to make you jealous and getting mad at you over nothing I would move on.. not worth the stress.
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    I think it just depends on your ex. You should just tell him you don't want to hear about it. Do your other guy friends talk to you about that kind of stuff? If not then tell him that. If they do, then I think you are just not ready to hear it yet and you should explain that to him :3 That's my opinion at least x) Just do whatever you are comfy with though

  12. #11
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    It sure is - I'm friends with my ex and we get along better
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    I think that being able to stay friends with an ex depends on two certain things (+ 1 more):

    1. How long you were together
    2. How your relationship ended
    (3. If you/ or the other person, still has feelings for eachother)

    If you just became a couple without knowing eachother for such a long time before I think its easy to go seperate ways, but if you have been together with someone for years its harder. And I also belive that you are more capable of staying friends if your relationship ended well. If a relationship ends with agony, tears, yelling and... you know.. just being incredible rude to eachother its hard to start talk with eachother again. But if you suddenly comes to an agreement with the other one to stop your relationship because you both woke up one day suddenly realized that you are just friends now its more likely that you are going to stay as friends after.

    Being able to stay as friends or not goes from case to case, but I do belive it depends on the "dots" above.



    If I would leave my realationship now im not sure if I would be able to stay friends with him. Sure we have been together for many years now and sure I don't belive that (if we would leave eachother) we would leave eachother in a "bad manner" BUT I don't think I would ever be able to see him with someone else - even if I wouldn't have "those" kind of feeling anymore.


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  15. #13
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    Seems like he is using you to find other girls.
    I wouldn't really call that a friend to begin with, lol.

    Stop contacting him, you rather come across desperate.
    Try to be silent for a week or so, see if he comes to you out of his own.
    If he doesn't, he had lost a great person as a friend. Then stop contacting him.
    And if he contacts you later on again, keep your guard up.
    He might want to keep using you for looking girls, if you sense that, ditch him entirely.

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  17. #14
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    i'm pretty sure he's TRYING to make you jealous/show you how "in demand" he is xD i'm also pretty sure he's failing =\

    a lot of my exes cheated on me so i don't ever want to see their faces again >.< but the one that didn't cheat only calls me dirty names, so i still talk to him xD

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  19. #15
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    I rarely ever see my ex online, I want to be friends but I dunno what to think

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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    What I don't understand is, why out of all people, you'd want to be friends with your ex in the first place.

    Now I don't mean necessarily holding a grudge, but you know, you can just move on with your life by getting to know new people, make new friends, etc, and remove the person that stresses you in any way, from your life. ;/
    No Mercy,
    No Remorse.


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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kanjoudakai_Ira View Post
    What I don't understand is, why out of all people, you'd want to be friends with your ex in the first place.

    Now I don't mean necessarily holding a grudge, but you know, you can just move on with your life by getting to know new people, make new friends, etc, and remove the person that stresses you in any way, from your life. ;/
    not exactly my place to speak >.< but i think it's not that they cause her stresses but that she simply didn't want to be intimate with him anymore. ._.

  22. #18
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    I reckon the reason why we try to be friends with our ex's is because you don't want to completely cut them off unless they've been extrmemly abusive. If you are a friendly person then you don't want to loose them altogether even as a friend.

  23. #19
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    Quote Originally Posted by sasu_girl View Post
    i'm pretty sure he's TRYING to make you jealous/show you how "in demand" he is xD i'm also pretty sure he's failing =\
    ''Trying to make the other jealous by flirting with others''is a girls thing to do.
    Guys never/rarely do that. If they say they want another, they mean it.

  24. #20
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    Quote Originally Posted by chiisanae View Post
    ''Trying to make the other jealous by flirting with others''is a girls thing to do.
    Guys never/rarely do that. If they say they want another, they mean it.
    ooooh o.o

    that's why you're the relationship expert ^.^ <3

  25. #21
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    I never understood why if you are in a relationship why start looking at other people? after all you committed yourself to the person you are with now.

  26. #22
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    I'm in good terms with 3 of my exes except 1 because I had a horrible break up with him and the way we broke up was from a nasty fight. It took me a few months for me to get over him, the moment I did he started to be a real as*hole towards me in a way that it shows his true colours. I stopped talking to him completely, but with the other 3, we're real good buddies. I think those time I dated them it was out of puppy love and I thought I liked them, however it was better that we were friends and they're not fake as my other ex I stopped talking to.

  27. #23
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    You should just leave your ex alone. If your ex wants to be friends with you, it's because they are confused.

  28. #24
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    I'm friends with my ex because we both talked about what happened after the break up and it went well. Though we dont talk much at all anymore. We're on good terms but I guess college and real life get in the way.
    If Minecraft had a Japanese intro.

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  29. #25
    ~The Skylark Rose~ animegirl2365 has a reputation beyond repute animegirl2365 has a reputation beyond repute animegirl2365 has a reputation beyond repute animegirl2365 has a reputation beyond repute animegirl2365 has a reputation beyond repute animegirl2365 has a reputation beyond repute animegirl2365 has a reputation beyond repute animegirl2365 has a reputation beyond repute animegirl2365 has a reputation beyond repute animegirl2365 has a reputation beyond repute animegirl2365 has a reputation beyond repute animegirl2365's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends with your ex possible?

    Being friends with ex depends on how bad the break-up was. Now if you guys just decided to go your separate ways you should be able to be friends. If he cheated on you or did something horrible like that, then it's best not to be friends.

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