You vs. A Duck

[Eris]

Are you better than a duck? I'm not sure. Ducks are pretty good. They can walk on water, and they can fly, and they don't get wet in the rain, and so on and so forth.

Please list things that make you better than a duck.

[Meteorkeeper]

Ummm...thumbs.
I have never been eaten by a duck.
Speech and intelligent thought.
Ya that’s all I got.

[Eris]

I don't know. Do you have a beak? Feathers?

This guy does:


Those are pretty useful features.

[Kaitou+]

I'm an AF member.

[Meteorkeeper]

I don't know. Do you have a beak? Feathers?

True true but dose the duck hold the highest point on the food chain or the ability to live threw winter...if it were to not migrate for some reason.

[Ashminigun]

And I thought it's about

[Baka]

Please list things that make you better than a duck.

Here's why:

 

[-GAZKUL-]

ummmmmmmmm brains!!!!! yes humans have bigger heads to that means we have more brainyness than ducks.

[Shinn Kamiyra]

I'll give the duck its due respect with its ability to walk on water and even fend off the rain. Admirable indeed. They even taste better than we do, oh much better.

However, never before nor ever will a species supersede us in our ability to ridicule and humiliate our fellow kind through all manner of respectable sitcom and random silliness; and in the end, the joy of laughter at others' expense overcomes all.

Quack on that, my formidable feathery adversary.

[Light Buster]

Because I can kill a duck in a second with one move.

[Ashminigun]

Still, a duck (or any migrating fowl) can cripple or/and bring down commercial airliner.

[Manhattan_Project_2000]

We are all inferior to ducks. It's only a matter of time until they take their rightful place. I for one welcome our new avian overlords.

[animeyay]

Geez I can't think of one good reason why I'm better than a duck.
My life has been a lieeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

[GameGeeks]

Went toe to toe with a duck once....I lost...

[Aleyna]

I don't know, that bird flu was pretty wicked.

Oooooh, I want to play Oregon Trail now!

[X e Y U Z i O]

I can eat a duck and I am awesome.

[~*Red*~]

I can read, write, hold a conversation and overall, I'm just a lot smarter than a duck.

[Eris]

We are all inferior to ducks. It's only a matter of time until they take their rightful place. I for one welcome our new avian overlords.

Indeed. Consider how birds are portrayed in media, and then consider how humans are portrayed:



This has clearly been part of some sort of cultural grooming process, in order to make us more susceptible to the idea of fowl-kind being vastly superior to men. And who knows, maybe they are?

If you try to recite Hamlet in 1 second, does it not sound a lot like a quack or a chirp? This would indicate bird language is vastly superior to our mindless grunting.

It is also likely that they occupy the fourth dimension. The bird shape is merely the shape in which they intersect with our inferior 3d space. They look upon us the way we look upon ants, forever mindlessly trapped in their workaday world, following scent trails and dragging pine needles.

We should thank them for not kicking over the anthill that is our paltry society. And feed them bread, and embrace them as they descend to claim their place as rulers of the third dimension.

[miniPhil]

You are now aware that Eris is secretly five ducks in a man suit. They spent years gaining trust of you mea-I mean us meat sacks simply to start this thread, discover their flaws and improve their defenses.

[aether]

I'm better than a duck due to the following reasons:

I live within a home that keeps me sheltered from the more extreme elements of the weather
I have higher brain functions other than eat, sleep, defend territory and mate
I can defend myself against larger enemies better than a duck due to the ability to use a weapon
I can use a hospital to make myself better or phone a doctor and tell them whats wrong with me
I can survive longer underwater due to the ability to use oxygen tanks
I can travel greater distances faster thanks to motorised vehicles

want me to continue?

[X e Y U Z i O]

Just going to leave this here.

[Eris]

I'm better than a duck due to the following reasons:

I live within a home that keeps me sheltered from the more extreme elements of the weather

Ducks have a built in home made of feathers. They're built to resist weather.

I have higher brain functions other than eat, sleep, defend territory and mate

Ducks are so smart, they make people feed them bits of bread. Have you ever been fed bread by a duck? Who's the genius now?

I can defend myself against larger enemies better than a duck due to the ability to use a weapon

Ducks can fly.

I can use a hospital to make myself better or phone a doctor and tell them whats wrong with me

There are so many ducks, they don't need healing. They just build more of themselves.

I can survive longer underwater due to the ability to use oxygen tanks

Ducks can survive under water without oxygen tanks.

I can travel greater distances faster thanks to motorised vehicles

Ducks migrate half way around the world. Twice a year. Without a vehicle.

want me to continue?

No, you're just furthering the anatidaephobic agenda.

[aether]

curses let me try again when I can be bothered to post

[X e Y U Z i O]

Ducks don't know what we are typing and I do.

[Eris]

curses let me try again when I can be bothered to post

Good. Yield to the ducks' resistance suppression field. Soon you will be completely okay with the notion of ducks being superior, mindless and placid, as we all should be.

Ducks don't know what we are typing and I do.

Are you certain? Can you prove that ducks aren't posting on the internet? I mean, actually prove it?

If you google the term "duck", you get 142 000 000 hits.
If you google the term "not duck", you get 700 000 hits.

Clearly, there are more ducks than not ducks on the internet.