AnimeGalleries [dot] NetAnimeWallpapers [dot] ComAnimeLyrics [dot] ComAnimePedia [dot] ComAnimeGlobe [dot] Com


User Tag List

Closed Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 41

Thread: Humour Quotes! XD

  1. #1
    Senior Member Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh's Avatar
    Gil
    1,250,540.99
    Gender
    My Mood
    Sleepy
    Gifts 143 - Snorlax Pen Electric Piano
    Mentioned
    91 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-11-2015 04:17 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Macedonia.
    Age
    20
    Threads
    21
    Posts
    3,199
    Blog Entries
    18
    AW Wallpapers
    1
    Rep Power
    1953

    Default Humour Quotes! XD

    So I just wanted to share some laughter with everyone, hope you do to! Post some funny quotes,they can be yours or from somebody else....The point is that they have to be really halerious, and understandible. Read them and enjoy


    ---------- Post added at 11:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:17 PM ----------

    For example:
    I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.
    Last edited by Nesh; 02-17-2011 at 12:42 PM.
    Nesh (nɛʃ) dialect adj. - sensitive to the cold

    Set made by me
    ''Do your best, no matter how many times you fail!.''

  2. #2
    Senior Member Elukien has a reputation beyond repute Elukien has a reputation beyond repute Elukien has a reputation beyond repute Elukien has a reputation beyond repute Elukien has a reputation beyond repute Elukien has a reputation beyond repute Elukien has a reputation beyond repute Elukien has a reputation beyond repute Elukien has a reputation beyond repute Elukien has a reputation beyond repute Elukien has a reputation beyond repute Elukien's Avatar
    Gil
    5,881.18
    Gender
    My Mood
    Sleepy
    Gifts Jigsaw Ribbon LOTR The Palantir Of Orthanc Black Cat
    Mentioned
    93 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-18-2013 03:54 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Hobbiton
    Age
    22
    Threads
    25
    Posts
    2,558
    Blog Entries
    5
    Rep Power
    697
    Gamer IDs

    Steam ID: Sarcasticfuzzball

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
    That way, when you criticize them, you will be a mile away AND you will have their shoes.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n's Avatar
    Gil
    70,093.64
    Gender
    Mentioned
    85 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    11-23-2016 01:17 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Behind Blue Eyes
    Threads
    385
    Posts
    3,323
    Rep Power
    137

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    The wages of sin is dead, but so is the salary of virtue. At least evil can take the weekend off.


  4. #4
    Senior Member Souhi has a reputation beyond repute Souhi has a reputation beyond repute Souhi has a reputation beyond repute Souhi has a reputation beyond repute Souhi has a reputation beyond repute Souhi has a reputation beyond repute Souhi has a reputation beyond repute Souhi has a reputation beyond repute Souhi has a reputation beyond repute Souhi has a reputation beyond repute Souhi has a reputation beyond repute Souhi's Avatar
    Gil
    458.77
    Gender
    My Mood
    Bored
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    10-04-2013 05:52 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    The land of hockey, beer, and a plague of corny stereotypes. Oh Canada.
    Age
    25
    Threads
    11
    Posts
    11,408
    Blog Entries
    196
    Rep Power
    3927

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    "Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying. "

    --------------------------------------------

    Yoo Jaesuk. Korea's loveable fool.
    --------------------------------------------
    Awesomely in your face set by Tatty!

    "All he could have; I made him just and right, sufficient to have stood, though free to fall. - John Milton

  5. #5
    Senior Member Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna's Avatar
    Gil
    1,907,190.90
    Gender
    My Mood
    Shh
    Gifts Flowers Fan2 R2 Ice Cream
    Mentioned
    249 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    02-06-2015 07:16 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Minnesota, U.S.
    Age
    26
    Threads
    283
    Posts
    6,516
    Blog Entries
    16
    Rep Power
    9682

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    Freaky like my lady pyramid! - Ken Jeong

    From SkullMuffins on deviantart

    Instagram|Tumblr

  6. #6
    Senior Member Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh's Avatar
    Gil
    1,250,540.99
    Gender
    My Mood
    Sleepy
    Gifts 143 - Snorlax Pen Electric Piano
    Mentioned
    91 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-11-2015 04:17 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Macedonia.
    Age
    20
    Threads
    21
    Posts
    3,199
    Blog Entries
    18
    AW Wallpapers
    1
    Rep Power
    1953

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    Here's another one^^
    A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

    Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

    Your daughter, Judith

    PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
    Nesh (nɛʃ) dialect adj. - sensitive to the cold

    Set made by me
    ''Do your best, no matter how many times you fail!.''

  7. #7
    Senior Member Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira has a reputation beyond repute Senjou_Akira's Avatar
    Gil
    80.32
    Gender
    My Mood
    sunshine
    Gifts Fuuko Starfish Kunai Katana
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    07-23-2012 03:09 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    house next door
    Threads
    14
    Posts
    451
    Blog Entries
    3
    Rep Power
    258

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    I look at the sky
    *sighs*
    the sky is so beautiful...
    ...
    i look at you
    and i looked at the sky again

    the sky is really beautiful


    Illusionists


  8. #8
    Actually bigger than you. miniPhil has a reputation beyond repute miniPhil has a reputation beyond repute miniPhil has a reputation beyond repute miniPhil has a reputation beyond repute miniPhil has a reputation beyond repute miniPhil has a reputation beyond repute miniPhil has a reputation beyond repute miniPhil has a reputation beyond repute miniPhil has a reputation beyond repute miniPhil has a reputation beyond repute miniPhil has a reputation beyond repute miniPhil's Avatar
    Gil
    1,814.98
    Gender
    My Mood
    sunshine
    Gifts Ceiling Cat Violin Cds
    Mentioned
    36 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    04-02-2013 08:01 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Flying high in the sky.
    Threads
    78
    Posts
    2,428
    Blog Entries
    109
    Rep Power
    4041
    Gamer IDs

    Steam ID: miniPhil

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    I was standing for an hour in McDonalds the other day before I thought; "Dam, I should probably take someones order".
    This is a Sig. It's horribly out of date.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh's Avatar
    Gil
    1,250,540.99
    Gender
    My Mood
    Sleepy
    Gifts 143 - Snorlax Pen Electric Piano
    Mentioned
    91 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-11-2015 04:17 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Macedonia.
    Age
    20
    Threads
    21
    Posts
    3,199
    Blog Entries
    18
    AW Wallpapers
    1
    Rep Power
    1953

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    9 Things I Hate About Everyone

    1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

    2. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

    3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

    4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

    5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!

    6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

    7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

    8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?

    9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???
    Nesh (nɛʃ) dialect adj. - sensitive to the cold

    Set made by me
    ''Do your best, no matter how many times you fail!.''

  10. #10
    Back With a Vengeance Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva has a reputation beyond repute Ellxeeva's Avatar
    Gil
    956.69
    Gender
    My Mood
    Flirty
    Gifts Luna Cheshire Cat Bonsai Tree
    Mentioned
    23 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-02-2015 04:49 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Pearl of the Orient
    Threads
    38
    Posts
    1,205
    Blog Entries
    43
    Rep Power
    1195

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

    "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

    Live Fast. Die Young. Be Wild. Have fun.
    -LDR

  11. #11
    Senior Member Skilero has a reputation beyond repute Skilero has a reputation beyond repute Skilero has a reputation beyond repute Skilero has a reputation beyond repute Skilero has a reputation beyond repute Skilero has a reputation beyond repute Skilero has a reputation beyond repute Skilero has a reputation beyond repute Skilero has a reputation beyond repute Skilero has a reputation beyond repute Skilero has a reputation beyond repute Skilero's Avatar
    Gil
    1,390.24
    Gender
    Gifts K-on Pick Headphones Aquarius
    Mentioned
    19 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    User Info
    Latest Post
    03-26-2013 08:51 PM
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Threads
    68
    Posts
    743
    Blog Entries
    204
    AW Wallpapers
    3
    Rep Power
    756
    Thanks (Given)
    53
    Thanks (Received)
    58
    Likes (Given)
    177
    Likes (Received)
    168
    Dislikes (Given)
    66
    Dislikes (Received)
    18
    Mentioned
    19 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Thread
    NEWS: QE3 enacted by FED
    Latest Blog
    Got a DeviantArt

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    "I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. ~Oscar Wilde

    "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue." ~Airplane!

  12. #12
    Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+'s Avatar
    Gil
    54,957,484,310.87
    Gender
    Gifts Movie Ticket Gabumon Gabumon
    Mentioned
    593 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    11-26-2016 01:16 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Kira Estate
    Threads
    736
    Posts
    11,082
    Blog Entries
    83
    Rep Power
    6385

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah boy!"

    ~Flavor Flav.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna's Avatar
    Gil
    1,907,190.90
    Gender
    My Mood
    Shh
    Gifts Flowers Fan2 R2 Ice Cream
    Mentioned
    249 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    02-06-2015 07:16 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Minnesota, U.S.
    Age
    26
    Threads
    283
    Posts
    6,516
    Blog Entries
    16
    Rep Power
    9682

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaitou+ View Post
    "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah boy!"

    ~Flavor Flav.
    >_______________<

     
    Hey baby, wanna come over to myspace so i can twitter your yahoo, till you google all over my facebook?

    From SkullMuffins on deviantart

    Instagram|Tumblr

  14. #14
    Senior Member Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh's Avatar
    Gil
    1,250,540.99
    Gender
    My Mood
    Sleepy
    Gifts 143 - Snorlax Pen Electric Piano
    Mentioned
    91 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-11-2015 04:17 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Macedonia.
    Age
    20
    Threads
    21
    Posts
    3,199
    Blog Entries
    18
    AW Wallpapers
    1
    Rep Power
    1953

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    There wouldn't be a swine flu, if we treated the pigs better!
    -Jim Carey
    (MTV Movie Awards 2009)
    Nesh (nɛʃ) dialect adj. - sensitive to the cold

    Set made by me
    ''Do your best, no matter how many times you fail!.''

  15. #15
    Senior Member Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna's Avatar
    Gil
    1,907,190.90
    Gender
    My Mood
    Shh
    Gifts Flowers Fan2 R2 Ice Cream
    Mentioned
    249 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    02-06-2015 07:16 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Minnesota, U.S.
    Age
    26
    Threads
    283
    Posts
    6,516
    Blog Entries
    16
    Rep Power
    9682

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    The next statement is true. The previous statement is false.

    From SkullMuffins on deviantart

    Instagram|Tumblr

  16. #16
    Senior Member Videlreyes has a reputation beyond repute Videlreyes has a reputation beyond repute Videlreyes has a reputation beyond repute Videlreyes has a reputation beyond repute Videlreyes has a reputation beyond repute Videlreyes has a reputation beyond repute Videlreyes has a reputation beyond repute Videlreyes has a reputation beyond repute Videlreyes has a reputation beyond repute Videlreyes has a reputation beyond repute Videlreyes has a reputation beyond repute Videlreyes's Avatar
    Gil
    1,461.85
    Gender
    My Mood
    Mellow
    Gifts Rainbow Ribbon Ice Ornament Hot Chocolate
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    03-17-2012 07:31 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Threads
    3
    Posts
    162
    Rep Power
    82

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    "Never get into a fight with an ugly person because they have nothing to lose."

  17. #17
    Senior Member Meteorkeeper has a reputation beyond repute Meteorkeeper has a reputation beyond repute Meteorkeeper has a reputation beyond repute Meteorkeeper has a reputation beyond repute Meteorkeeper has a reputation beyond repute Meteorkeeper has a reputation beyond repute Meteorkeeper has a reputation beyond repute Meteorkeeper has a reputation beyond repute Meteorkeeper has a reputation beyond repute Meteorkeeper has a reputation beyond repute Meteorkeeper has a reputation beyond repute Meteorkeeper's Avatar
    Gil
    1,240.66
    Gender
    My Mood
    Amused
    Gifts American Flag Ribbon Coke Kill Bill Katana
    Mentioned
    100 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-15-2014 07:32 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Nashua NH
    Age
    30
    Threads
    16
    Posts
    1,405
    Blog Entries
    3
    Rep Power
    1088
    Gamer IDs

    Steam ID: Meteorkeeper

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    Thanks to denial I am immortal ~ Fry Futurama

    It's not stupid it's advanced~ Invader Zim
    Last edited by Meteorkeeper; 02-17-2011 at 12:57 PM.

  18. #18
    The Savage. -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL-'s Avatar
    Gil
    6,191.90
    Gender
    My Mood
    Hungover
    Gifts Present Beer
    Mentioned
    261 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-25-2012 05:28 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Carlisle, Cumbria.
    Age
    23
    Threads
    89
    Posts
    2,818
    Blog Entries
    16
    Rep Power
    1639

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    this

  19. #19
    Senior Member Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh's Avatar
    Gil
    1,250,540.99
    Gender
    My Mood
    Sleepy
    Gifts 143 - Snorlax Pen Electric Piano
    Mentioned
    91 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-11-2015 04:17 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Macedonia.
    Age
    20
    Threads
    21
    Posts
    3,199
    Blog Entries
    18
    AW Wallpapers
    1
    Rep Power
    1953

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    How To Get Out Of A Traffic Ticket!

    A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

    Officer: May I see your driver's license?
    Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

    Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
    Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

    Officer: The car is stolen?
    Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

    Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
    Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

    Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
    Driver: Yes, sir.

    Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

    Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
    Driver: Sure. Here it is.

    It was valid.

    Captain: Who's car is this?
    Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

    The driver owned the car.

    Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
    Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

    Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

    Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
    Driver: No problem.

    Trunk is opened; no body.

    Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

    Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!
    Nesh (nɛʃ) dialect adj. - sensitive to the cold

    Set made by me
    ''Do your best, no matter how many times you fail!.''

  20. #20
    Senior Member Lily Rock has a reputation beyond repute Lily Rock has a reputation beyond repute Lily Rock has a reputation beyond repute Lily Rock has a reputation beyond repute Lily Rock has a reputation beyond repute Lily Rock has a reputation beyond repute Lily Rock has a reputation beyond repute Lily Rock has a reputation beyond repute Lily Rock has a reputation beyond repute Lily Rock has a reputation beyond repute Lily Rock has a reputation beyond repute Lily Rock's Avatar
    Gil
    3,427.81
    Gender
    My Mood
    Bored
    Gifts M1911 Battleship Favorite
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    11-03-2013 08:31 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Sweden.
    Threads
    71
    Posts
    2,498
    Rep Power
    942

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    Quoted from Cpt. MacMillan from Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.
    What you mean it's not Scottish?! If it's not Scottish, it's crap!
    Heeey!

  21. #21
    The Savage. -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL- has a reputation beyond repute -GAZKUL-'s Avatar
    Gil
    6,191.90
    Gender
    My Mood
    Hungover
    Gifts Present Beer
    Mentioned
    261 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-25-2012 05:28 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Carlisle, Cumbria.
    Age
    23
    Threads
    89
    Posts
    2,818
    Blog Entries
    16
    Rep Power
    1639

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    Quote Originally Posted by TalothYeahRight View Post
    What you mean it's not Scottish?! If it's not Scottish, it's crap!
    Hell Yeah!!!!

  22. #22
    Senior Member Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh's Avatar
    Gil
    1,250,540.99
    Gender
    My Mood
    Sleepy
    Gifts 143 - Snorlax Pen Electric Piano
    Mentioned
    91 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-11-2015 04:17 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Macedonia.
    Age
    20
    Threads
    21
    Posts
    3,199
    Blog Entries
    18
    AW Wallpapers
    1
    Rep Power
    1953

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

    1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

    2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

    3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

    4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

    5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

    6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"

    7. Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

    8. Don't Use Any Punctuation

    9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

    10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

    11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

    12. Sing Along At The Opera.

    13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

    14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

    15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party because You're Not In The Mood.

    16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name "Rock Hard".

    17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

    18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot,Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

    19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
    Nesh (nɛʃ) dialect adj. - sensitive to the cold

    Set made by me
    ''Do your best, no matter how many times you fail!.''

  23. #23
    Senior Member Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna's Avatar
    Gil
    1,907,190.90
    Gender
    My Mood
    Shh
    Gifts Flowers Fan2 R2 Ice Cream
    Mentioned
    249 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    02-06-2015 07:16 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Minnesota, U.S.
    Age
    26
    Threads
    283
    Posts
    6,516
    Blog Entries
    16
    Rep Power
    9682

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    Abby(Katherine Heigl): My cat stepped on the remote.
    Mike(Gerard Butler): Well, be sure to thank your pussy for me.
    From the movie, The Ugly Truth

    From SkullMuffins on deviantart

    Instagram|Tumblr

  24. #24
    Senior Member Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh has a reputation beyond repute Nesh's Avatar
    Gil
    1,250,540.99
    Gender
    My Mood
    Sleepy
    Gifts 143 - Snorlax Pen Electric Piano
    Mentioned
    91 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-11-2015 04:17 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Macedonia.
    Age
    20
    Threads
    21
    Posts
    3,199
    Blog Entries
    18
    AW Wallpapers
    1
    Rep Power
    1953

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
    —Oscar Wilde
    Nesh (nɛʃ) dialect adj. - sensitive to the cold

    Set made by me
    ''Do your best, no matter how many times you fail!.''

  25. #25
    how 2 u sociul plz? Ranshiin has a reputation beyond repute Ranshiin has a reputation beyond repute Ranshiin has a reputation beyond repute Ranshiin has a reputation beyond repute Ranshiin has a reputation beyond repute Ranshiin has a reputation beyond repute Ranshiin has a reputation beyond repute Ranshiin has a reputation beyond repute Ranshiin has a reputation beyond repute Ranshiin has a reputation beyond repute Ranshiin has a reputation beyond repute Ranshiin's Avatar
    Gil
    85,868,153.19
    Gender
    My Mood
    Brooding
    Gifts Ice Cream Ice Cream Fuuko Starfish
    Mentioned
    483 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    11-24-2016 08:08 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Decadent England
    Age
    29
    Threads
    46
    Posts
    9,174
    Blog Entries
    58
    Rep Power
    3217
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: KazzyMac PSN ID: Kazzy-Mac Steam ID: kazzymac

    Default Re: Humour Quotes! XD

    Quote Originally Posted by Avril4E View Post
    1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

    3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
    Win.
    : The Game. You just lost it. :



    ^ RIP ReCaged... ^

    :Godly on Blur:
    My Youtube Channel || Epic Clan Battles
    BEST. GAME. EVER.

Closed Thread

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Similar Threads

  1. Quotes
    By _-Midnight-_ in forum Miscellaneous Miscellany
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 11-17-2008, 10:17 AM
  2. Top 15 Fav Quotes
    By Azul in forum Miscellaneous Miscellany
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 11-04-2008, 11:25 AM
  3. *Quotes*
    By Scrapped Princess in forum General Anime & Manga
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 04-22-2008, 11:02 AM
  4. Quotes
    By BlueyedFox in forum Miscellaneous Miscellany
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-02-2006, 04:01 AM
  5. Quotes
    By WinterC_16 in forum Wallpapers
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12-21-2003, 08:07 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts