Don't turn my love into a Juliet's tragedy
Umm at this part I think that 'Please don't make my love as tragic as Juliet's' sticks better; or if you want to keep the edited version, maybe take out the 'a'? I'm not sure if it would be correct then. Maybe animeyay can offer something.
About the musubareru part...yeah, that usually means to be 'bound together'.
Hey, won’t you live with me?
Since it's くれる, it could sound more beseeching and be 'Hey, won't you come live with me?' (Though I'm probably out of my league here, so I need a second opinion.)
To afar, until they condemn us
'Condemn us' sounds too harsh, but I can't think of anything better.
Look, I am just right here
Maybe take out the 'just'? It seems unecessary.
Before that happens, come to my rescue ‘kay?
Before that happens, come to my rescue, 'kay?
Mostly stylistic corrections. ^^; The rest is good to go!