Married... with children

[brolyx74]

Is marriage unavoidable? Is having children unavoidable? Personally, I don't plan on getting married or having children, but my dad thinks no matter what I do I will meet a girl who will get me to get married and have children.

What do you guys think? Are these things inevitable or can you make the decision to not get married or have children and stick with it?

Technically of course you can go through life without getting married or having children, so I suppose the real underlying question here would be "Does society substantially stress marriage and children on individuals?"

[Eris]

I thought this thread was going to be about the show. I even started playing the theme song in my head. Now I am disappoint.

I'm playing this song instead

 

[Penshiru]

Well "we" as a society today are more accepting today of people that do not marriage or children I think. I think the stress of mariage is more put on your parents because they got married and had you as your kid so they expect you to have kids of your own.
In the end they will accept your personal choice later on in life to have kids or not or even if you want to be married.
And who knows you may want to marry someone in the future so only time will tell.
( this is all my views on the subject I've had this topic for discussion many times in my psych class lol )

[Meteorkeeper]

I don’t think it's unavoidable in the least but I do think it is far more socially acceptable to be marred before a cretin age.

[Genghis Beatrix]

It's a person's choice whether they want to get married or have kids, and you can prevent one 100%, but the other only at a maximum of 99%. I chose to do both, and I love it. It's hard work, but I'm all the happier for it.

[~*Red*~]

I want to get married and have kids later on in life, when I meet the right girl and we get settled down first.

[Bibi of the Blue Sea]

I thought the same thing too.

I don't feel that marriage is unavoidable, however I do feel that the "need" or "desire" to have offspring is not just a social "norm". It's much more than that. As a species, it's in our instincts to want to copulate and bear children. It's necessary for the survival of our species.
Now that doesn't mean you must be married to do so.

[Uta-chan~]

This is ironic seeing as yesterday I dreamt that I was married with two kids. @___@;;

Anyway, yes, of course people have their own opinions on marriage and having kids and their right to choose to do so or not but there is a lot of pressure to and society is a harsh critic. Marriage and having children seems more socially acceptable. If you're young and a virgin (say around my age) then society looks down on you yet if you're around 40yo and still a virgin society finds it hard to accept who you are and the choices you've made with the matter. But that's beside the point. So I think we're pressured into marriage. Also, because some parents want to be grandparents, they pressure their own to have children. But I still do believe that it's unavoidable but most likely that people stray down the other path and go with marriage.

Personally, I would like to be married one day and have my own children. If not, then I'd like to adopt ^^

[TadashiED]

It is a person's choice, but what affects the choice is what you'll have to wait and see for.

[CMNDR_Spinxie]

This is ironic seeing as yesterday I dreamt that I was married with two kids. @___@;;

Anyway, yes, of course people have their own opinions on marriage and having kids and their right to choose to do so or not but there is a lot of pressure to and society is a harsh critic. Marriage and having children seems more socially acceptable. If you're young and a virgin (say around my age) then society looks down on you yet if you're around 40yo and still a virgin society finds it hard to accept who you are and the choices you've made with the matter. But that's beside the point. So I think we're pressured into marriage. Also, because some parents want to be grandparents, they pressure their own to have children. But I still do believe that it's unavoidable but most likely that people stray down the other path and go with marriage.

Personally, I would like to be married one day and have my own children. If not, then I'd like to adopt ^^

Agreed. But nowadays, with the divorce rates as high as they are and society's general mindset drifting further and further into the realms of the egocentric, people aren't, I think, so judgmental about the singles out there. In fact, the popular voice of our peer generations seems to avidly and proudly protest against the marital constraints and the struggle of raising children.

It's definitely not inevitable; it's your own choice. :P

[Feferi]

I really want to be a wife and a mother later on in my life. I don't care what society is like now or how it is. I came from a big family and I want one of my own. It would just make me happy and feel complete.
As for those who goes on to say that they don't want this, things do happen. ;P Be careful on things you say, it may end up biting you in the arse later on. lol Just saying~ funny things happen in life.

[Kusuke]

I thought the same thing too.

I don't feel that marriage is unavoidable, however I do feel that the "need" or "desire" to have offspring is not just a social "norm". It's much more than that. As a species, it's in our instincts to want to copulate and bear children. It's necessary for the survival of our species.
Now that doesn't mean you must be married to do so.

I agree with this.

Marriage is a religious (and thus a social) practice so it is not necessary. Though it is so ingrained in our societies that even if you don't expect to marry, the person (or people) you end up being with in the future may further stress it. It's ultimately your choice though.

I would like to get married and have kids one day... It'll help make my life even more interesting than it already is.

[Aleyna]

I hope it's unavoidable, because right now is the worst time for me to get knocked or something how magically have a baby without the use of a sperm(poor Mary)!

[OtakuInu!!!]

It could be your decision to not marry and not have kids. But the future is unpredictable so you might change your mind.

It's not that they stress you to get married and have kids when you get older but it's just that it's common and when you grow up you need someone to take care of you and you won't be alone.

[The Angelic Anathema]

They are both avoidable; neither are required to live, ergo one can live without them.

[Light Buster]

Well, you don't have to but I just found out that people live longer if they have a family.

[Wio]

I have to be honest. Marriage isn't just optional, it's dangerous--a sucker's bet. We all know the statistics. What do betrothed people think? "It's not going to happen to me." or "They're not as mature as we are."? I'm not sure whether to call this ignorance or arrogance. It takes two to tango, but it only takes one to slam your caboose to the ground and run off with most your money. Let's not forget that even if you don't get divorced, you still could end up in a miserable marriage as a cuckold or pack-mule spouse.

Quite a few profit off marriage, a few profit off keeping unhappy marriages afloat, but the real money is in divorce. In almost all divorces, there is a cash flow going from the higher earner (and usually the one who is more conservative with money) to the lower/non-earner (who spends other's money with no hesitation). Nothing could be better for companies that sell useless garbage. To the government it might be one less person on the dole where one party incapable of making sufficient income.

I know I'm cynical and I have every right to be. I've so many acquaintances and old friends who were burned by this system. A few had to be tossed around biweekly and poisoned by each parent against the other. A couple are cuckolds (one is trying to make things "work"). Another one was made to pay >80% of his income (literally impossible even if magically had no expenses). Actually I don't know where he is anymore because he had to expatriate. Keep in mind I'm talking about middle class, educated people here.

[MiscPsychopath]

Hm. I have been told alot in my life that I was not born with a need for another person. I enjoy the thought of having a person there for me, but in reality I find it annoying. I couldn't ever see myself married, but I can see myself with a child. Never in any of my dreams have I ever had a husband or a boyfriend, but I have had a child in my dreams on several occasions.

=/ I think there are just some people that feel the need to have someone and to be married, while there are others that are fine alone with the random company.

[Kusuke]

They are both avoidable; neither are required to live, ergo one can live without them.

Just because it's not required to live doesn't mean it's avoidable. The law in the U.S., for example, requires people to go to school from ~5 to 18 years old. I don't need school to live, but one of three things is now unavoidable. I'll either go to school, or juvenile hall, or if I'm young enough my parents will be held responsible and either pay or go to jail. I'm not saying that this is the same as marriage or child bearing, I'm saying that there may be external factors that direct you in ways where you may become unable to avoid a situation that ends up with one of those two things.

[The Angelic Anathema]

Just because it's not required to live doesn't mean it's avoidable. The law in the U.S., for example, requires people to go to school from ~5 to 18 years old. I don't need school to live, but one of three things is now unavoidable. I'll either go to school, or juvenile hall, or if I'm young enough my parents will be held responsible and either pay or go to jail. I'm not saying that this is the same as marriage or child bearing, I'm saying that there may be external factors that direct you in ways where you may become unable to avoid a situation that ends up with one of those two things.

Explain a situation* where one is required to marry, and have children, to live.

*Realistic situation.

[Ericgamer1]

ugh.. yeah, no.

It's completely avoidable.

I will not get married, and I most certainly will not have kids. I actually get really annoyed when people say otherwise because it implies that I'm some sort of idiot that doesn't know what they want.

[Kusuke]

Explain a situation* where one is required to marry, and have children, to live.

*Realistic situation.

I didn't say that I had a situation... I just said that it can't be that they are avoidable ONLY because they're not required to survive.

I also didn't say they weren't avoidable in general.

But, here's a small example. If you wish to live in another country, if you are refused a visa or citizenship and you absolutely want to stay, your only choices are marriage or constant appeals. If by chance you choose constant appeals and you lose, they may decide to deport you or arrest you. If this is imminent, your only choice is marriage.

[The Angelic Anathema]

I didn't say that I had a situation... I just said that it can't be that they are avoidable ONLY because they're not required to survive.

I didn't say that they were avoidable ONLY because one doesn't need them to survive :/

[Kusuke]

I didn't say that they were avoidable ONLY because one doesn't need them to survive :/

It was the only reason you provided... So, I just assumed it was the only reason. O.O

[dream magician]

Well, I think it depends on the individual if he will go with what the society is telling him/her to do.. I have met a lot of people who are still single- but I don't really know if it's their choice or not (sorry)..