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Thread: What do children owe their parents?

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    Default What do children owe their parents?

    Do they owe them anything? Once they turn 18, do they need to be part of their parents' life? Do they need to do anything for their family? They say blood is thicker than water, but does being related to someone make you owe them anything? Do people need to do anything for their family, or is family just a way society encouraging codependence?

    Do children need to visit their parents on the holidays? Do they need to have children of their own so thier parents can have grandchildren? How close are the bonds of family?

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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    Nope. For me, blood is not thicker than water.

    My disposition to my parents, is just the same as any one else in the world; and that is is that if they want my trust and respect, then they must earn it just as anyone else would.

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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    They owe them their wonderful love.

    Silly me, I said that in the other thread too.

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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    Being related to someone doesn't mean you owe them anything. It's all about what they did for you. I do something for my family not because I owe them. I do it because I want to, they are close to me and I care for them. Same thing goes for close friends and other people. You do something not because you owe them or you're related to them, you do it because you want to.

    Do they owe them anything? I don't think they do. For me, family is not about owing each other this and that, it's all about giving and caring without expecting anything in return.

    Do they need to have children of their own so thier parents can have grandchildren?
    Duh.

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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    I'm...I think I owe them 2k for that mess in my room. D=

    I don't think its that you owe them anything, but sometimes you show them respect for raising you. And in turn you carry all that with you for when you have your own children.

    I don't think I owe them anything, but I'd still hang out with them. Not cause I feel like I have to, but cause its fun.
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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    I have a loving family, we trust each other and support each other. As a matter of fact, I'd do anything for them because I'm real close to them. We have some bad times, but then I get over it. Things happen. ;/
    I think the children should just do things because they want to, not only because the parents told them to do it or whatever reason. The children have the right of mind after they leave home to do things for their parents or not. If you can't do anything at all, then you just can't. But if you know you're able to do a thing, just do it. I know in my case, if I can't do something at all, my parents would understand me. I don't know about that "owing" thing, it sounds kind of bad and I think its used for parents who could careless about their kids and demand something. My parents wants love and they want that as well as me just being a good kid, I guess. Thats the best you can offer as well as making them smile and complete their life.

    I seriously love my family, they brought me up good and I appreciate all the things they do for me and my life. They provide me with everything, so what I want to do is return all the love to them as long as I live.

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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    I'd say that all children literally owe their parents a living. Supporting them when they get old and the like. My parents would probably turn the Parents' Support Law we have in our country (or something like that) if I didn't support them in future.

    Srsly though, I think that it's best to do stuff willingly for your parents.


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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    When it comes to love, "owing" takes a backseat. It's a balance of giving and taking. But not a 50/50 balance. Some people may be satisfied with little, but they do like to give. Even if they only get a little bit back, it'll be worth it to them. On the other hand, some people don't give much and take more. Balance is when 2 people manage to sustain a give/take relationship, regardless of who gives or takes more. If both parties are satisfied, all is fine.

    So now that the essence is said, it's kinda easy to come up with an answer. Life goes as it goes. Some people don't give their parents much, and they're still satisfied. Some people give their parents a lot and they're also satisfied. Some people may give their parents not much, and their parents could be dissatisfied with what they get. And some people give their parents a lot, but their parents still don't consider it a lot. It's pretty much impossible to decide what a child really owes their parents. All he or she can do is analyze his or her own situation and act as he/she thinks is best. If you're satisfied with what you give (even if it's nothing), and they are... there really isn't a problem. And if you give nothing and they are dissatisfied, you probably don't give a damn.
    Last edited by Sir Dutchman; 01-18-2011 at 05:07 PM.

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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    Quote Originally Posted by xRiikox View Post
    I'd say that all children literally owe their parents a living. Supporting them when they get old and the like. My parents would probably turn the Parents' Support Law we have in our country (or something like that) if I didn't support them in future.

    Srsly though, I think that it's best to do stuff willingly for your parents.
    This varies a lot with culture, though. In Scandinavia, children supporting their elders is unheard of, not because they're ungrateful, but because it isn't necessary. Instead this support is offered by society through pensions (at a level where you actually can live off them) and nursing homes for those who are too ill to live alone.

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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    Quote Originally Posted by Eris View Post
    This varies a lot with culture, though. In Scandinavia, children supporting their elders is unheard of, not because they're ungrateful, but because it isn't necessary. Instead this support is offered by society through pensions (at a level where you actually can live off them) and nursing homes for those who are too ill to live alone.
    I guess so. That sounds practical. In my culture people believe that your parents raised, clothed and fed you, so to put it in a simpler way, you owe them. Big time. It's all very (ugh) traditional.


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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    Quote Originally Posted by xRiikox View Post
    In my culture people believe that your parents raised, clothed and fed you, so to put it in a simpler way, you owe them. Big time. It's all very (ugh) traditional.
    Same here, even though my parents wouldn't say "You owe us!" straight in my face but that's what society would do to you if you ignore your family specially your parents who have raised you and everything. For me I wouldn't mind taking care of my parents when they get old so long as they really need me, and besides it's nice to have family around even if there are ups and downs with one's relationship with them.

    I think many Asian countries are the same when it comes to family values, well maybe except the Middle East?
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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    At least we're not retroactively paying our folks back for the food we ate as a child.
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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    You owe them respect, first of all. Secondly, you owe them devotion. I mean you can't go on with your personal life and completely forget about them. Also, you owe them support for when they're in need. At least in my opinion. If your parents really cared for you and had a hard time raising you, you owe them this stuff.
    And it's not traditional or anything, it should be common sense and morality.


    On the other hand I've seen cases in which parents didn't care for their children. Those parents don't deserve crap. A parent that doesn't involve in raising his own child and just lets him be on his way, however that is, doesn't deserve being called a parent, and therefore, doesn't deserve anything from their children.
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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    I don't feel I owe my parents anything - they chose to either have a child or do things that might lead to one which makes the child, me, their responsibility. Some parents mightn't accept the responsibility, but that's on them.

    That all said, me and my parents aren't the closest, but I do have a strong enough sense of duty to family that I'd help them whenever practical. Not because I feel I owe them anything but because they're family, much the same way more distant relatives and even some closer friends are.
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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    Well it's because of them that's why we are here. But it depends on the culture and environment we grew in that influences our beliefs and traditions whether to return something to our parents or not.

    In some countries, when parents get old, they are brought in the home for the elderly but that's not the culture we have in our country. home for the aged in our country is believed to be a home where elders who aren't loved by their cold hearted children stay. though it may not be the case in other countries but it is ours. Our parents are very well respected and loved in our country. Parents are viewed very differently on other countries based on what i have read.


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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    Quote Originally Posted by xRiikox View Post
    I guess so. That sounds practical. In my culture people believe that your parents raised, clothed and fed you, so to put it in a simpler way, you owe them. Big time. It's all very (ugh) traditional.
    No kidding.
    I heard my mom and my older brother in an argument over something. Until I heard my mom yelled at him "I gave you love, I gave you life, you owe me big time!"
    Honestly I think of it totally uncool so I talked to her about it because I'm her kid, too. And it just hurts. Even if my mom doesn't mean to hurt us in anyway, it seems like she was miserable through out her whole life no matter what good or bad we do. Apparently, we "owe" her something. ;/

    Its not right, but she has to be careful on things she say. >__>; I love her and respect her but she has to be a little reasonable when it comes to things like this.

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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    To me, family is important because it provides a foundation of belonging and love from which to build from, but I appreciate that this is not always the case.

    In the past families were founded on working together, not because you owe someone, but for the benefit and the love you hold for everyone in your family, and I believe this is a good principle to work off, as it is my experience.

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  24. #18
    Senior Member under the rain has a reputation beyond repute under the rain has a reputation beyond repute under the rain has a reputation beyond repute under the rain has a reputation beyond repute under the rain has a reputation beyond repute under the rain has a reputation beyond repute under the rain has a reputation beyond repute under the rain has a reputation beyond repute under the rain has a reputation beyond repute under the rain has a reputation beyond repute under the rain has a reputation beyond repute under the rain's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    Depends on the parents I guess. I've always believed that people shouldn't be owed anything, but that if they want something like love or respect they should earn it.


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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    For me, what I owe my parents is the time and the effort they spend taking care of and bringing me up, because, if I were to put myself to the shoes of other less fortunate children who aren't taken care much of their parents, those children who are given with so much care must be so lucky... That's why I feel that I must give something valuable in return, someday.

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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    Children should respect their parents as adults if they made the right choices and the children didn't have a genuinely unhappy life before being an adult (drug abuse, child abuse, neglect, etc.) They don't, to the core, owe them anything, but they would not be alive without them, and they should be happy they get to experience life in general.

    That being said, parents should never have children with the expectation they will owe them something. They chose to start a life, and raise it independently, with the knowledge that it would be draining, emotionally and financially, but rewarding in both aspects as well.
    On this day of days, most epic and prideful, you were born 15 whole American years ago!
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    Probably via hax.
    Regardless! You won!
    So remember, whenever someone picks on you or calls you weak or small.
    Just remind them that you beat out a few hundred thousand other wimps.

    And the grand prize was not dying!

  27. #21
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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    Any money that they give you that they ask for you to pay them back someday, you should try to pay them back. If they voluntarily give you something, which parents do all the time(a place to live in, free food, drinks, clothing, etc.), and then they tell you later that you owe them a bunch for all of the stuff they have done, you shouldn't have to be put in guilt trip to all of a sudden give a bunch of money to them from things that they voluntarily gave you in the past. I think when your parents go through a serious crisis, injury, loss, or become sick and/or have to go live somewhere else(old age), then you should try to be there in support for them, since they are the ones who created you and helped raised you, and if they ask you for help and you somehow can help them, then you should at least try to help them out. Like the only situation I can think of is like if your parents were extremely horrible to you and walked out on you, went or are in jail for a quite awhile, and other situations where you wouldn't need to help them out that much or ever, cause it's like they didn't step up to take responsibility or were responsible enough to you.

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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    I look at it this way: when you are filling out a personal data sheet, and you come to the question about who should be contacted in an emergency... what do you put there?

    For most of us, what we owe our parents is something you could never total up with a calculator. Just borrow a seven-year-old to take care of for a week!

  29. #23
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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    Depends on what the parents gave their children.

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  31. #24
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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

    When you're 18, it's up to you. Every individual is different. If you feel that you got enough love and attention, you may then feel the need to repay that in some way. But no one can force you to. In the end I don't think we owe them anything, however if you were raised properly you may feel obligated to them, which is perfectly fine.


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    Default Re: What do children owe their parents?

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