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Thread: ELISA - Millenario

  1. #1
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    Default ELISA - Millenario

    So I decided to re-translate this song, since my prior attempt was pretty... Bad-ish.
    I'm just having some doubts regarding this one line (word, really), and I could really use some feedback.
    I'll post my whole translation, in case I had something else wrong. Thanks in advance!

    Romaji:

    Yasashii kaze mebuku tsubomi
    Machi someteku hana tachi

    Utsukushisa wa toki to tomo ni
    Yume no you ni nakunatte shimau

    Anata no nukumori
    Sore to onaji de kiete shimau kana

    Shape of my love
    Owari ga atte mo osorezu ni uta wo utaou
    Eternal Song
    Katachi wa iranai dakishimete kanjite hoshii
    Juunen saki mo hyakunen saki mo sennen saki mo ai wo utaou

    Osanai koro aruita michi
    Ima wa hitori tasogare

    Donna toki mo soba ni ita ne
    Kako wa itsumo hohoende kureru

    Anata no senaka ga
    Tooku ni mieru oiteikanaide

    You're my everything
    Wakare ga atte mo akiramezu kao wo agete
    Fate of my life
    Kotoba wa iranai kokoro de wa tsunagatteru kara
    Yorokobi mo kanashimi mo nigirishime mae ni susumou

    Shape of my love
    Owari ga atte mo osorezu ni utai tsudzukeyou
    Eternal Song
    katachi wa iranai dakishimete kanjite hoshii

    Shape of my love
    Owari ga atte mo osorezu ni uta wo utaou
    Eternal Song
    Katachi wa iranai dakishimete kanjite hoshii
    Juunen saki mo hyakunen saki mo sennen saki mo ai wo utaou

    English:

    A gentle breeze, blooming flower buds,
    Flowers dying the city...

    As time goes by, beauty fades away,
    Just like a dream.

    Will your warmth disappear
    In the same way?

    Shape of my love
    Even if an end lies out there, let's fearlessly sing this song.
    Eternal Song
    I don't need an empty "pretense"[1], I simply want you to hold and feel me.
    Whether 10 years from now, 100 years from now, or 1000 years from now - let's sing of love.

    The road we used to take as kids;
    I now take it all alone, in the twilight.

    You always stood by me, through everything.
    The past always throws a smile back at me.

    Your back seems so far away;
    Please don't leave me behind...!

    You're my everything
    Even if we'd go our separate ways, raise your head up high showing no signs of giving up.
    Fate of my life
    I don't need you to say anything, as we're connected by heart.
    So let's clutch onto both of our joys and sorrows as we advance forward.

    Shape of my love
    Even if an end lies out there, let's fearlessly keep singing.
    Eternal Song
    I don't need an empty "pretense", I simply want you to hold and feel me.

    Shape of my love
    Even if an end lies out there, let's fearlessly sing this song.
    Eternal Song
    I don't need an empty "pretense", I simply want you to hold and feel me.
    Whether 10 years from now, 100 years from now, or 1000 years from now - let's sing of love.

    Kanji:

    優しい風 芽吹く蕾
    街染めてく 花たち

    美しさは 時間(とき)とともに
    夢のように なくなってしまう

    貴方の 温もり
    それと同じで 消えてしまうかな

    Shape of my love
    終わりがあっても 恐れずに 歌を唄おう
    Eternal Song
    形はいらない 抱きしめて 感じて欲しい
    10年先も 100年先も 1000年先も 愛を唄おう

    幼い頃 歩いた道
    今は一人 黄昏

    どんな時も そばにいたね
    過去はいつも 微笑んでくれる

    貴方の 背中が
    遠くに見える 置いていかないで

    You’re my everything
    別れがあっても 諦めず 顔を上げて
    Fate of my life
    言葉はいらない 心では 繋がってるから
    喜びも 悲しみも 握りしめ 前に進もう

    Shape of my love
    終わりがあっても 恐れずに 唄い続けよう
    Eternal Song
    形はいらない 抱きしめて 感じて欲しい

    Shape of my love
    終わりがあっても 恐れずに 歌を唄おう
    Eternal Song
    形はいらない 抱きしめて 感じて欲しい
    10年先も 100年先も 1000年先も 愛を唄おう

    [1] - What I'm getting out of「形」,
    is that it's basically describing something heart/soul-less with only the outer appearance left;
    an empty pretense, or anything similar.

    My next guess would be something you form/shape up. In other words - fake, feign.
    Or maybe I'm just looking too much into it...?
    Last edited by Haze~; 05-25-2015 at 05:46 AM.

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    Default Re: ELISA - Millenario

    I think it's pretty accurate, really- it is your interpretation, after all- and I don't feel that it would be translated accurately any other way.

    Oh yeah, one more thing though- 'dying' ought to be 'dyeing'

    できねぇ時?
    そん時ゃ諸共心中だよ





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    Default Re: ELISA - Millenario

    Ah, whoops! Didn't see that. Thanks for the catch!

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    Default Re: ELISA - Millenario

    I think you're translation's pretty good. 形 can mean "form" in the sense of "formality", so I think you're interpretation is plausible.

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    Default Re: ELISA - Millenario

    I'd concur on the interpretation of 形, your translations sounds to me like it keeps the spirit.

    My only remaining remark would be on 「言葉はいらない」 which you translate by "I don't need you to say anything" ; here I feel the "you" is not right, because the Japanese is unambiguously bidirectional. They don't need words between the two of them.

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    Default Re: ELISA - Millenario

    I could replace it with "There's no need for words, as we're connected by heart...",
    but I think it pretty much conveys the meaning as a whole either way.

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