Sampaguita - "Hold on", by Marlene (A line bugs me)

Hi everyone.

I've completed the translation of the Ending Song of the Playstation 1 game Sampaguita (3rd game of the Yarudora series), "Hold on", by Marlene Pena Lim.

It's a frikkin' awesome song, fitting for that great game, and I had tons of fun translating it. But there's a single line I'm not exactly sure if I translated it correctly. Can someone please look at it, see if I got it right, and if not, propose me an alternate translation of it? (And if you eventually see something that could be improved somewhere else in the lyrics while we're at it, don't hesitate pointing it out, I'm open to all suggestions). Thanks in advance!


Giving you the lyrics in Kanji, and my English translation of it. The line bugging me is bolded and orange-coloured.



Japanese lyrics, Kanji:


夜が終わらなければ　いいと思った
二度と目覚めなくても　いいと思った

あなたの胸に　抱かれた時の
鼓動が　心　溶かす

Hold on　もう迷わずに
Your love　進んでゆける
あなたと出会えた　場所から始める

Hold on　会いたい気持ち
Your love　痛みに変わる
約束した日のあなたの声を
耳に残して

いつも過ちばかり　繰り返していた
私　導いたのは　あなたの強さ

子供の頃に　感じたような
柔らかな手で　つつむ

Hold on　幸せなんて
Your love　知らなくていい
凍えた思いは過去に消えていた
Hold on　二人で生きた
Your love　時を抱きしめ
もう一度あなたに会えるときまで
振り返らない

Hold on　もう迷わずに
Your love　進んでゆける
あなたと出会えた　場所から始める

Hold on　会いたい気持ち
Your love　痛みに変わる
約束した日のあなたの声を
耳に残して



My English translation:


I once thought it didn't matter if the night wouldn't end
I once thought it didn't matter if I would never wake up again.

But the instant you held me into your chest,
Your heartbeat thawed my heart.

HOLD ON! I won't waver anymore
YOUR LOVE! I will walk forward,
Starting from the place we first met.

HOLD ON! This desire of meeting you again
YOUR LOVE! Changes into pain,
Leaving in my ears
Your voice from that day we promised ourselves to each other.

Ever since, I did nothing but repeat my mistakes.
What guided me throught the right way, was your strength.

When you're embracing me with those tender hands of yours,
It feels like I'm in my childhood days.

HOLD ON! It's fine if
YOUR LOVE! I don't experience happiness
My cold feelings vanished with the past
HOLD ON! Cherising the times
YOUR LOVE! We were living together,
I won't turn back
Till the day I'll meet you once again.

HOLD ON! I won't waver anymore
YOUR LOVE! I will walk forward,
Starting from the place we first met.

HOLD ON! This desire of meeting you again
YOUR LOVE! Changes into pain,
Leaving in my ears
Your voice from that day we promised ourselves to each other.

I think I know what the problem is, but I'm not sure how to explain it. Your t/l puts the recollection as a causative (whenever...) whereas the line only mentions it as fact. That is, it doesn't really mean everytime the singer is being touched they would remember their childhood days.
You wrapped around me with your gentle arms
That reminds me of my childhood days
The line above is similarly at fault since it does not specifically say that the arms were the one the singer feels back when they're young, like what the line is saying.
So if you want a more literal way of saying it (along with your punctuation style):
You wrapped around me with your gentle arms,
The same touch I felt when I was little.

I see what you mean, now that you say it: the line is indeed a fact. And I like a lot your "same touch" suggestion, I'll use it, and as always, will duly credit you when I'll upload the lyrics. Thanks a ton for your help! :biggrin: