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Why is it so hard to fall into deep conversation with another person?
I've been trying to converse with people about controversial things lately but they fizzle out very quickly.
It's mostly because the other person changes subjects about something mundane and completely off subject.
I know the feeling... A lot of times I try to have deep conversations they don't really get far. Sometimes I think it is because the subjects are too controversial, and the person doesn't want to get into them, sometimes I think they are just not well informed on the subject. I think a lot of people also just don't want to take the time anymore to involve themselves in a deep conversation. Or I just try to discuss things with the wrong people :/.
It's because they're not in the mood. You have to be in the right mindset for these type of conversations. They're not exactly party material. It's like someone playing post-rock at a disco.
I wouldn't like to fall into deep conversatin. I learned this by hearing my father and others disscusing about politics. He talks about it for hours and hours...better said for eternety!
And trust meif you heared him, you would think this way too.
Occasionally, I get into a deep conversation with friends and family. It's quite interesting when you get into one because you just expand on one or more topics. The longest deep conversation I had was about 12-13 hours with a good friend of mine. I can understand why people may not want to have a deep conversation, the people may not be interested in what you are talking about, not in the mood, don't have much knowledge on the topic etc.
Hmm yeah your right I haven't had a deep controversial convo with anyone lately. I guess I don't like arguing when I know I'll crack sooner or later. I'm not good with those kinds of conversations if it is opinionated, I mean I don't like to judge what other people prefer because everyone's different, so I don't bother. Unless if it's a fact that I know, then I am willing.
But if your not talking about controversial matter of deep conversation, then I have them almost everyday =]
Deep conversations suck and are boring.
Especially if your partners are intellectuality inferior to you.
Because philosophy is really boring.
Deep conversations are good with selective people for me and if I were to get involved with a deep conversation I want it to be with someone comfortable because it makes life easy. I don't get in them so much but whenever I do, the atmosphere is different and it all depends on the mood. I can't say that I really hate them, unless they are filled with insults, put-downs, yelling, etc.
It's because people are afraid.
Freedom of speech goes beyond just laws.
Politeness is one thing, but for some subjects, I think there is genuine fear of talking about it.
I usually don't find my self in deep conversation unless we absolutely have and love something in common, even then I still find it hard because I don't like to speak to people. Also another instance of me trying to have deep conversation is trying to contradict them.
deep conversations are pretty much all I will accept. The more drawn out, deeper, and more complex, the better.
everything else is actually very exhausting for me. Small talk or just otherwise light conversation, is probably one of the most difficult and emotionally draining activities for me.
It just depends on the mood of the person and well casual talk is more...fun and interesting, you know?
Deep conversation doesn't have to be a debate/argument. I just like to get the feel of how the other person thinks and feels about subjects, you know broaden my mind.
Small talk never works for me either, @Ericgamer1 :(
When people fall out of it quickly I get the feeling that they don't want to be judged for their opinion; but I don't do that xD I like to hear what they have to say no matter what.
You are like one of theee most random people I know, so talking to you just about anything is interesting and fun.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gizoku
Like I love having deep convos with people actually, and typically I try to start them, haha. Like it depends on the person's mood, like even I am not in the mood for deep convos sometimes, cause I just got done with some srs bzns and feel like relaxing now instead of handling some more intense stuff.
I rarely have a deep conversation with anyone, hardly anyone has anything in common with me for us to talk about. I usually feel awkward because I have very few people that I really can be myself and talk about anything and everything. I don't think a lot of people know who I really am because I don't have a lot of deep conversations with people.
I really hate small talk unless I really want to get to know the person and other then that it just make me feel really awkward.
I believe it's hard to keep a deep conversation because it tends to get awkward for someone, or the conversation gets too personal and too hard to continue on. (Also, 1000th post!)
THIS!Quote:
Originally Posted by Ericgamer1
i feel the same way, deep/good conversations are the way to go.
as soon as someone starts talking about stuff like "the weather" or "gossip" i want to put a gun in my mouth, hehe.
i can't deal with silly mundane small talk.
Lmao, if it gets awkward then its probably the other person xD
I'm as open minded as they come. You can talk about how chairs are so soft and fluffy and I would probably say something like: "Yeah, it is. Those little microfibers cushioning your butt are reliable and dependable. -insert deep thought about how the chair cushions the buttocks of many children, men and woman-
I've still been trying to get a deep conversation going but with no avail.
I can't quite grasp the fact that deep conversations are boring. They can range from any subject. So to me, they're not boring at all.
@Aleyna xD What? I am? And srs bzns happens every day at 12!
Well, what is it exactly you want to talk about?
That may indeed be why people are unwilling to engage you in deep conversation; they consider you inferior and your conversation topic to be trivial.Quote:
Originally Posted by nathanromml
A lot of people with a new found high school or undergraduate level understanding of a topic such as philosophy try to engage people in deep existential discussions. After a few years this, they either give up when they feel they've reasonably exhausted the subject, or study more philosophy (which means the only people they can discuss it with are other philosophy students, other people will simply not understand what they're rambling about.)
Something like this. Most of "deep" conversations I try to have usually end up with me explaining stuff and my clueless "partner" only listening since they have nothing to add from themselves.Quote:
A lot of people with a new found high school or undergraduate level understanding of a topic such as philosophy try to engage people in deep existential discussions. After a few years this, they either give up when they feel they've reasonably exhausted the subject, or study more philosophy (which means the only people they can discuss it with are other philosophy students, other people will simply not understand what they're rambling about.)
That's why I don't have "deep conversations"- these give me nothing except the feeling of strong irritation and lost time.
It depends.
With friends and family I can easly get into a deep conversation with them (I am very "tough" - I can say almost anything without being scared or affraid that the other people will get angry at me or becoming upset, so I am not afraid to be open and speak my mind), but on internet it's a different matter for me since the language is a obstacle. I think it's hard to really write and explain what I think in english. The sentences becomes strange and just blaah and then it's not as fun to discuss with a person when that person can write long and good sentences and you are self struggeling just to find the words, and keeping the grammer good with as little spelling misstakes as possible. When you can't write/speak a language properly it's hard to communicate and then you tend to keep the "chatter" in shorter sentences. But I am trying to train up my english! That's one of the reasons why I am here, I want to become better in english. And I will... Just you wait and see. I suppose I could get into a deep conversation here aswell... but no one has tried to get into one with me as far as I can remember here so... :) Or... well not since my early blog posts but bah, that was such a long time ago!
Give me a good topic, write to me, and I would be happy to talk about it with you.
Just give me time to find the words, have patience - and don't be a grammar police!
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Yeah, a lot of people just never seem to be in the mood as of late. Besides, people are busy. In today's world, with anyone having anything to do at potentially any given time, it's more or less a draw of luck that you'll find yourself in such a conversation.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gizoku
Still, I think one particular reason is that one or both parties aren't conversing about something that they deeply care about, something which they hold strong beliefs in or something to that effect. When they are, that's when they want to keep talking about it.
Having a deep conversation with someone begins with that small amount of understanding. If you don't have that, you're not going to get very far.
@D-V-L , I talk about anything.
I honestly pick something we're both interested in.
For example, I was talking to my friend about Ouija boards (because another one of my friends said she was messing around with one and a bunch of people commented on how it opens portals to hell) and straight up asked her if she believed in other worldy creatures. Of course, she said "Omg, I'm a big believer in that" and we started a long line of topics from just that for about ten minutes but it ended up talking about her cousin and her cousins boyfriend.
I get when people don't want to have a deep conversation. I usually just cut it off.
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