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Rizuchan
11-15-2009, 11:59 AM
http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/kenshin/rksbaksu.htm

As it turns out, this translation's almost as bad as the one for Heart of Sword... because of that, I'm just going to focus on the really big problems with it because I'll be here all day if I'm gonna be nitpicky.

First, though, a beef I have with the romanization/kanji on the site. There's a missing line between the last two lines of both of them.

思いだせないの
どう La La La La La La
どうしてなの?

Omoidasenai no
Dou... La La La La La La
Doushitenano?

It doesn't seem like a big deal, but I spent much of my childhood wondering what she was saying in that line thanks to it not being on this site. :laugh:


I touched those hated freckles lightly
And sighed, my "heavy class" love has
Dissolved clearly
Just like a sugarcube.
The thorn stuck in my thin breast went in further
And hurt much more than before.
Astrology didn't predict that at all.大キライだったそばかすをちょっと
ひとなでしてタメ息をひとつ
ヘヴィー級の恋はみごとに
角砂糖と一緒に溶けた
前よりももっと やせた胸にちょっと
"チクッ"っとささるトゲがイタイ
星占いも あてにならないわ

First of all, the "heavy class love" is dissolving with a sugar cube, not like one. They also missed the sound effect "チクッ".


I wished we could go together farther,
It would be joyful enough to...もっと遠くまで 一緒にゆけたら ねぇ
うれしくて それだけで
Of course they missed たら here, as for the second line... I don't know where they're coming from. "Just that would've made me happy"


But with only that you can't live.それだけじゃ おなかがすくわ
What?? I can't tell if they were trying to take artistic license with it or if they just made it up. "With just that, your stomach will be empty"


I pierced my left ear to forget,
It's an episode I can't laugh about.おもいきりあけた左耳のピアスには ねぇ
笑えない エピソード
At least I feel like I can do a proper critique with this line. They seemed to miss (or ignore) "おもいきりあけた", here meaning "to give in". With that, I think the subject here is not her, but the person she's talking about. Also since it doesn't make much sense for a girl to be piercing just her left ear, but it would make sense for a guy to.
"When I gave in
And he got his left ear pierced, hey
It's an episode I can't laugh about"
(I took some liberties with the second line so it wouldn't sound so clunky)


Embracing the spots and all汚れたぬいぐるみ抱いて
Spots??? ぬいぐるみ is most certainly "plush toys" which makes a ton more sense in the given context. (Granted, I've been marathoning Card Captor Sakura so words like ぬいぐるみ come pretty easily to me now...)

That's all the big stuff at any rate. Here's my translation:

I brush a little against
Those hated freckles, and give a single sigh
My heavy-rank love splendidly
Dissolved along with a sugar cube
With a "tick", the thorn stuck
in my thin chest hurt more than before
Even a horoscope couldn't have predicted that

If we could have been together until we had gotten further, hey
Just that would've made me happy

Memories are always beautiful, but
With just them, your stomach will feel empty
And the truth is, though this is a painful night
I wonder why?
I can't even remember his smile

I understand, I just break things and fix them
But that's just my character
With impatient feelings, ambiguous as always
Nonetheless, it was a good love

When I gave in and he got his left ear pierced, hey
It's an episode I can't laugh about

I try to count all my freckles
While hugging my dirty stuffed animals
The thorn stuck in my chest won't disappear, but
Froggy and Bunny
Smile at me

Memories are always beautiful, but
With just them, your stomach will feel empty
And the truth is, though this is a painful night
I wonder why? I can't even remember his tears
I can't even remember
Why... La La La La La La
Why can't I?

AzureDark
11-16-2009, 01:05 AM
It's more "heavyweight" then "heavy-rank", er you know... the highest weight class in boxing.

Ah, gimme your translit too, never liked the current one since a long time ago.

Rizuchan
11-16-2009, 10:49 AM
Agh, that's the word I was looking for! I couldn't remember it at the time. :laugh:

At any rate, since I'm redoing the romaji too it's formatted a little differently, so I'll post my matching translation here too.

Daikirai datta sobakasu wo chotto
Hitonade shite tame iki wo hitotsu
Hebii kyuu no koi wa migoto ni
Kakuzatou to issho ni toketa
Mae yori mo motto yaseta mune ni chotto
"Chiku" tto sasaru toge ga itai
Hoshiuranai mo ate ni naranai wa
Motto tooku made issho ni yuketara nee
Ureshikute sore dake de

Omoide wa itsumo kirei dakedo
Sore dake ja onaka ga suku wa
Hontou wa setsunai yoru na no ni
Doushite kashira? Ano hito no egao mo omoidasenai no

Kowashite naoshite wakatteru no ni
Sore ga atashi no seikaku dakara
Modokashii kimochi de ayafuya na mama de
Soredemo ii koi wo shite kita
Omoikiri aketa hidari mimi no piasu ni wa nee
Waraenai episoodo

Sobakasu no kazu wo kazoete miru
Yogoreta nuigurumi daite
Mune wo sasu toge wa kienai kedo
Kaeruchan mo usagichan mo
Waratte kureru no

Omoide wa itsumo kirei dakedo
Sore dake ja onaka ga suku no
Hontou wa setsunai yoru na no ni
Doushite kashira? Ano hito no namida mo omoidasenai no
Omoidasenai no
Dou... La La La La La La
Doushite na no?

I brush a little against
Those hated freckles, and give a single sigh
My heavyweight love splendidly
Dissolved along with a sugar cube
With a "tick", the thorn stuck
in my thin chest hurt more than before
Even a horoscope couldn't have predicted that
If we could have been together
Until we had gotten further, hey
Just that would've made me happy

Memories are always beautiful, but
With just them, your stomach will feel empty
And the truth is, though this is a painful night
I wonder why?
I can't even remember his smile

I understand
I just break things and fix them
But that's just my character
With impatient feelings
Ambiguous as always
Nonetheless, it was a good love
When I gave in
And you got your left ear pierced, hey
It's an episode I can't laugh about

I try to count all my freckles
While hugging my dirty stuffed animals
The thorn stuck in my chest won't disappear, but
Froggy and Bunny
Smile at me

Memories are always beautiful, but
With just them, your stomach will feel empty
And the truth is, though this is a painful night
I wonder why?
I can't even remember his tears
I can't even remember
Why... La La La La La La
Why can't I?