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hasen
09-11-2009, 07:25 PM
Link: http://www.animelyrics.com/jpop/dream/getover.htm

The current translation is fine overall, but there are some subtle aspects here and there that I feel need some retouching.

romaji:


Akiramekireru MONO naraba, saisho kara kyoumi motanai
Wasurerareru MONO nara, hitsuyousa mo kanjinai kara

current translation:


If it can be given up, I won't hold interest from the beginning
If it can be forgotten, I won't feel the need for it
my translation:


If you can give it up, it's because you didn't really want it to begin with,
If you can forget it, it's because you didn't even need it.
Reason:
The structure of these lines is basically this:
xxx naraba yyyy kara

if xxxxx it's because yyyy

The current translation does it as "if xxx then it will be yyyy", and that's not really what the song is saying, IMO.
I don't really know how to explain it ..


next part:


Tanoshii koto dake erande ikite mo
Sono saki ni wa nanimo mienakute
Dakara donna koto mo
Genjitsu kara nigenaide uketomeru yo

current translation:


Living by choosing fun things but
Nothing can be seen beyond that
So whatever it is,
I will never run away from the reality but instead will accept it
my translation:


You can choose to just do fun things
But you can't see a future in that
So no matter what it is,
Don't run away from reality, but accept it.
First, I translate it as if it's talking to someone and not talking about one's self in first person, because AFAIK with neganaide having "de" at the end makes it a request "don't run".
Other than that, the rest is just my para phrasal.

next part:


Naze hito wa toki ni ayamachi wo
Koukai wo shite mo shikirezu
Naze hito wa itsumo, soredemo to koeteikou to suru?
current translation:


Why do people make mistakes at times...
Can't feel guilty enough...
Why do people always try to go beyond others?
my translation:


Why is it that sometimes when people make mistakes
They can't cope well even if they regret?
Why do people, despite that, still try to get over?
My reason: the first and second line go together. It's not "why do people make mistakes some times",

it's (taken as a whole) "why people sometimes when they regret mistakes still can't cope"

"ayamachi wo koukai shitemo" = "even if they regret their mistakes".
It just so happened that "ayamachi wo" was on the first line and "koukai shitemo" ended up on the second line.

The other point, the current translation says "go beyond others", while I don't see any mention of going byond "other people". I see it as going beyong their problems and their past and mistakes, etc.


So, here's the full text with my corrections/changes:

You support me now, and I support you now
So let's wander and live towards the future together

After figthing with friends, and being that way
I feel that soomething is missing
Looked at with dry eyes
And being blown by the dry wind of this time

If you can give it up, it's because you didn't really want it to begin with,
If you can forget it, it's because you didn't even need it.
The unsure feeling and courage is standing back to back
But right now, I will make the dreams come true with these hands

There are days that I'm about to break after being hurt, and days when I
trouble you by crying but
We will over come that, reaching for top more than anyone

You can choose to just do fun things
But you can't see a future in that
So no matter what it is,
Don't run away from reality, but accept it.

If there's something important, I will protect it
At the thing I don't want to lose, I will put my everything into it
I'm not talented so we will hurt each others and ourselves
But I can walk with a little more faith now

There are days when I feel lonly, and days when I feel miserable
But we're probably not alone, you're there

Why is it that sometimes when people make mistakes
They can't cope well even if they regret?
Why do people, despite that, still try to get over?

You support me now, and I support you now
So let's wander and live towards the future together
There are days that I'm about to break after being hurt, and days when I
trouble you by crying but
We will over come that, reaching for top more than anyone

AzureDark
09-11-2009, 09:30 PM
mink is a respected sempai of mine who is a half-native Japanese living in Hawaii so I'll try to stick up for her.

1) mink's version is actually in line with the whole stanza, which is describing the singer itself (Sai's viewpoint?) as shown in the two lines after. However, your version is also correct, only the difference being usage of the causative particle nara(ba), which in the song's context, could mean both ways.

2) Ah hah! Remember this: a -te form mid-sentence is NOT the request verb form, but a mere sentence connector. The verb with that -te form will take the form of the one after it. 'nigenaide uketomeru' is still plain present. Yours would have to be 'nigenaide uketomete' to be right. Although I understand that this song is trying to talk to someone, it only does that half the time.

3) I think mink was put off by the ellipsis (which should've been there in the translit) at the end of both lines. Ellipsises are usually a good indication of a sentence's cut-off in kanji lyrics though (and not pauses, never!).

I love how you've included "get over" in the trans though, so you've won me over. So please revise the trans and also include your own translit since the current one is kinda below-par.

hasen
09-11-2009, 11:19 PM
mink is a respected sempai of mine who is a half-native Japanese living in Hawaii so I'll try to stick up for her.
hehe, crap. If she's a native speaker then I'm not one to be correcting her!

Anyway,

For #1 I'm pretty confident in my version :) I know it's from the singers view (first person), even though I used the second person verb (you) I only meant it in the general sense, as in, "if *one* can forget something, then it's because he didn't really need it in the first place".

As for #2, You're probably right. In my defense though, I did consider that oketumeru is not in command/request form, but I've seen such usage at least once before, so I though it is possible. However, since you agree with mink's version, I'll revise my translation to preserve the meaning from her version.


I love how you've included "get over" in the trans though, so you've won me over.

cool :)


So please revise the trans and also include your own translit since the current one is kinda below-par.

Well, I can't really do the transliteration since I don't know like half the words.

Here's the English translation, revision #2:

You support me now, and I support you now
So let's wander and live towards the future together

After fighting with friends, and being that way
I feel that something is missing
Looked at with dry eyes
And being blown by the dry wind of this time

If you can give it up, it's because you didn't really want it to begin with,
If you can forget it, it's because you didn't even need it.
The unsure feeling and courage is standing back to back
But right now, I will make the dreams come true with these hands

There are days that I'm about to break after being hurt, and days when I
trouble you by crying but
We will over come that, reaching for top more than anyone

I can choose to just do fun things
But I can't see a future in that
So no matter what it is,
I won't run away from reality, I'll accept it.

If there's something important, I will protect it
At the thing I don't want to lose, I will put my everything into it
I'm not talented so we will hurt each others and ourselves
But I can walk with a little more faith now

There are days when I feel lonely, and days when I feel miserable
But we're probably not alone, you're there

Why is it that sometimes when people make mistakes
They can't cope well even if they regret?
Why do people, despite that, still try to get over?

You support me now, and I support you now
So let's wander and live towards the future together
There are days that I'm about to break after being hurt, and days when I
trouble you by crying but
We will over come that, reaching for top more than anyone