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View Full Version : [Challenge] #4: Describe the Room



Fabala
07-31-2008, 08:47 AM
This is something a writing teacher I had years ago had my class do. I ended up revising mine into a short story, it was so successful. Anyway...

Your character is standing in a dimly lit hallway. It is empty save for the closed door in front of him/her. There is nothing remarkable about the door, but the thought of the scene beyond it fills your character with nervous tension. Your character takes a deep breath, reaches out to grasp the doorknob, and opens the door. Your character remains standing in the doorway for a moment, surveying a scene in the room.

Your task: Describe the room you character sees through the open doorway. The point is simply to describe it, not to describe your character or to have your character interact within the scene. Look at it through your character's eyes. Try to use description to evoke a feeling, and maybe explain why your character was nervous about entering. There can be other characters within the room. Do describe them if there are, but they do not interact with your character.

See if you can create something that will not only allow a reader to visualize the room, but will have them feeling the same tension your character felt.

See this thread (http://www.animeforum.com/showthread.php?t=74702) for other writing challenges.

†Wensday†
07-31-2008, 09:04 AM
Alrighty then here i go

Opening the door the seen set beyond the door was a dark masked figure with glowing red unconceivable eyes behind it was a black door with skeletons at the bottom and crimson flowing off it upon the skulls behind the door was a gateway to an unknown place...In turn the figure looked at the entrance to the doorway and heaved a deep exhilarating breath and smiled slightly showing the fangs of an unholy dead supply of blood. On the floor lay several dead girls on the floor of the all girls school Shikon high. The school had been closing for unknown reasons and the clean up crew consisting of eight girls who were emptying out the last of the school before their transfer to Orukami high a boys and girls boarding school had gone missing for over two hours with only one surviving at least...for the moment. The dark cloaked looking figure with red glaring eyes began moving toward the entrance of the emptied closet. Through out the school the last thing heard was an echo of a scream...and the shutting of a door.

FullMetalAlchemist997
08-01-2008, 05:44 PM
The door slid open with a creak. It hadn't been oiled or used in a very long time. The ground beyond it was dingy and colorless. Cells lined the room. Dead inmates hung from the chains in various stages of decay. All of them had been dead for years so the stench of death rolled out of the room. Here was the place though. There was one new body in the room, a young girl of maybe six or seven she was spread eagle as if a pagan sacrifice. The girl wasn't the scariest part what was bad was the blood painted with different symbols all looked inherently evil. The figure laughed and entered the room dragging by the hair another girl about the same age as the first. She laid her beside the first one and began the ritual to make herself immortal. This would not be the last girl to suffer this fate...

Kinda short

KuroTan
08-06-2008, 11:58 PM
The door is opened and the secret is revealed. The room is a lie.

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xDD. Just for the lulz. I'll edit it if you want me to or if you feel it's not within the rules. Although, it does tie in as to why he's so anxious. Maybe he wants escape, maybe he thinks it's the finish line. Poor sap.

clowangel
08-27-2008, 10:28 PM
I wrang my hands together--an odd thing to do really. It was something I have never done much, even when nervous, but this time and this time alone, I was anxious, nervous, afraid, but excited. It was a strange entangled web of emotions that was so foreign to me. And what evoked it all? A simple door that stood in front of me.

Taking a deep shuddering breath, I stepped foward, placing my cold hand on the surprisingly warm handle and gently tugged the door open. What I met with wasn't something warm, cold, or even remotely fascinating. However, it gave me the feeling of being otherworldly.

I unconsciously took a step forward, and the door behind me clicked shut. I spun around only to find empty space and the door I just came through nowhere in sight.

The prickly green grass beneath my bare feet stretched for miles into the distance meeting the gray-blue sky at the horizon. There was no wind, no sound, and absolutely no one--not even insects or a wild rabbit. It was a desolate place, but not a lonely one for there was nothing that existed there that would feel lonely. This place simply existed behind the simplest of doors. I walked and walked for who knows how long before I came to the realization that there was nothing but this field of grass and the sunless and moonless sky above me. And I knew. This was my heart at its core. It wasn't empty, but it certainly wasn't filled with anything worth mentioning except for this indescribable feeling of peace I felt whenever I gazed up into the cloudy sky I felt I could touch if I simply reached for it.

I smiled then, and dropped onto my back, the sensation of the cold grass against my back giving me the sense of it all being real, very real. This was me. This was who I am and who I will be for an indefinite amount of time into the future. It probably wasn't a comforting feeling to anyone else, but for me, it was a comforting feeling and very humbling--to lay here and stare into my own soul through the never ending fields of grass and through the dark murky skies above me stretching as far as the eyes could see.


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And that's it! ^-^ Came up with it just now from who knows where, but it was fun to write. Not sure if it met the challenge, but I tried! I've never written challenges before really. I know I could've written it in more detail, but I'm sleepy. ><; Lol, I really couldn't go through the whole writing it descriptively like, "my heart clenched, the air stuck in my throat as waves upon waves of sorrow swallowed me whole.." Forgive me! ^^