View Full Version : Naruto Fanfiction: Stream of time

06-24-2008, 09:03 AM
I know my english isnīt very good and I only want to try something and would really like to read some comments.

Thatīs only a preview if it isnīt too bad I can continue it.


Softly a light breeze blew above the stiff, icily grey lake which reflected the deep infinity of the existence in itself. Sporadically water lilies swam in the murky body of water, nothing seemed to stir. Silence lay overcast about this segment of the forest, only splashing the water was audible. Hour by hour the forever lasting shower fell in one single cascade down, coming from the river of the great powers which connected the stream of the sandy empire, to Konoha-no-kuni and the rain region fluently in the cloud area.

The spring had brought numerous buds for blossoming, a flower sea covered the scenery in the midst of the green shimmering forest. Hardly discernibly the deep-red liquid dripped onto the darkly colouring meadow ground. The sandy shore emitted an internal, inexplicable confidence.

There lay a person, half in the water, half on the land. He still seemed to be alive, even if his body looked tattered. Everywhere he had the wounds from which the boy bled violently. The water had already accepted a slightly reddish tone. His face had partially blood-crusted, the lips blue because of the cold, if his chest would not lift now and again and lower, one would think that there had been washed ashore a corpse . How long he still lay there, when at last somebody found him, knew nobody.

Assassin of Konoha
06-28-2008, 09:35 PM
I think you should continue it. It looks like it could be a really good story if it goes in the right direction, and I'm sure it will. Please, keep writing ^_^!!!