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Kristian The Twilight
06-19-2008, 05:20 PM
Devil May Cry: New Breeds


Chapter 1


The Redemption



It’s a beautiful day with blue sky and not much of Clouds on the sky. People are in the park playing around having fun. Some are eating some not some run around and some walked. Everyone is having a great time then all of sudden the sky turn red as blood. Everyone stop and look up and see what’s going on and why the sky is red.

Child- Mommy why the sky is red

Child’s Mother- I don’t know….sweetheart

Then ground is shaking hard and as it crack. Then something is trying get of the ground as some people fall because of earthquake. A big Tower came out of the ground and stand tall. The people are looking at the Tower and some people are looking around. When the Tower raise from the ground demon with weapons came out of the tower and starts killing everyone it full massacre. There blood everywhere on the grass on the trees everywhere. When the massacre stop nobody was alive every man, woman, and child is dead.

20 years later a guy wearing Black t-shirt got logo of Angels on the front of it. He also got black cargo pants and brown boots. He got a glove that is brown just like his boots. He got necklace it shape as an Angel Father. A sword was on his back he got two revolver guns on both of sides. This guy got short black hair that goes back. He kneeled down and touches the grass of the park and it still bloody from 20 years ago. Then he stands up and he grabs his sword handle and touches his revolver gun on the right side. He smirks as 5 demons where around him looking at him.

Guy- So you want peace of me fine let rock

The demon on the front of him is going to attack head on then he got shot on head. As the revolver gun is lean up and the one demon from the back tries to attack from the back. But he swing sword front and able to block the attack by killing demon cutting the demon into two by going up. Then he left roundhouse kick the demon to the left to knock demon down. Then he points his revolver gun at the demon on the right and aim at the head. Then shoots at the demons head three times then the body just drops dead.

Guy- Too easy

As the guy is putting away his revolver gun to his right side he yawns and looks around. Then the last demon just pops up and too swings of to kill the guy. He got shock look because he thought he killed it. He tried to move out the away but he got cut on his leg but it was light. He rolled then he took out his two revolver guns and starts shooting 9 bullets from each. The demon fall backward full of holes the guy looks at his wound

Guy- It’s not too bad….

Girl’s voice- Leon Nox!!

Leon looks back of him and see girl running to him. She is wear sleeveless shirt that is red and blue jeans with brown boots. She got glass on and he she got long blonde hair. Then she got front of him and breathing hard and Leon smiles.

Leon- Wuss up Athena

Athena- Here is your new radio ear set.

Leon- Thank you Athena

Leon hooks up the radio ear set and he put it on. He smiles and he look at his gun and then Athena. He smile and put his hand top of her head and talks away.

Athena- Please be careful Leon

Leon- I know…

As Leon waved to her good and Athena looks Leon and tears falls out like she not going to him again. Then she runs to the Truck and she gets in the drive off fast. Then Leon is on the front of the Tower’s door and he looks at it and smile and took out his two revolver guns

Leon- So it begins….

Behind the door two demons was guarding the door. Leon kick open the door and he walked in then he his two revolver guns at the doors. Then he shoots 3 bullets in the same time killing the demon behind the door.

Leon- Mission time…




The End for Chapters 1

Characters

Name: Leon Nox
Age: 25
Height: 6 “11”
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Job: Demon Hunter –Fighter-
Weapons: One Sword –Lionheart- and Two Revolvers –Sun and Moon-
Info: Leon Nox is Human that hunts down demon because what happen to him when he was age of 5. His folks dead against the demon and he made promise he will kill the entire demon. So he trained day in and day out and work so hard.

Name: Athena Li
Age: 16
Height: 5 “11”
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Job: Demon Hunter –Computer User-
Weapon: N/A
Info: She was found by Leon. Athena’s family was badly killed to the demons in age of 7. Then in time Leon saved Athena and he teach Athena everything that she needs to know.

Karsh
06-20-2008, 07:43 AM
Nice but I am a bit confused. Why arenīt you writing in the past? It would sound better. And using " to let someone speak would be a good idea too. The storyline sounds okay.

Kristian The Twilight
06-20-2008, 08:11 AM
So what do you want me to do again i am sorry

Karsh
06-20-2008, 02:14 PM
Nothing important but it would be better - I think - if you would change your tenses.

Kristian The Twilight
06-21-2008, 07:35 AM
thank you