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View Full Version : Original Fiction: Americus Girl Wonder



enchantixgirl24
04-13-2007, 11:52 PM
A girl with blonde hair and blue eyes(Americus) was walking with her friend with green eyes and brown hair(hallery) . They each have hair that go to the knees . There both wearing there school uniforms a white shirt ,blue flower in hair,cross neklace,blue skirt with light flowers on it heel shoes 1 inch high, cute blue socks.

Americus-So how was your summer hallary ?
Hallery-It was good you?
Americus-Great I got the hang of everything so now I have to learn to dance with grace and love with japan fans.
Hallery-Sounds hard
Americus-its not really once you think about it
Hallery-Um I'll think about it ok
Americus-Ok

I want to know how this is so far if you like it if you dont

NOTE;This story is going on

ok bye

Buruku
04-14-2007, 12:28 AM
um..0_o

I don't know where to begin, but I'll just say that the only thing you've done is vaguely describe two characters and then had them engage in a very brief conversation. So in order to give you a real opinion, it would be nice to see some kind of plot, there's not much to work with.

Also your writing how a play would be written, not a short story.

enchantixgirl24
04-14-2007, 12:39 AM
that is the way i write a story so live with it please

ill write some more later today ok

Capernicus
05-24-2007, 04:12 PM
....I agree with teh Brookeh. It was...very shallowly playish. Um....you lacked any kind of creative writting AT ALL. It is, I do decree, teh suxors.