View Full Version : Naruto Fanfiction: Oblivion Keeper (CH.1)

fox demon naruto
09-04-2006, 02:12 AM
Summary: When a 18 year old boy comes to the village of the leaf and meets the foruth hokage, the man who sealed the kyuubi and save the village. What does he do with him, takes him to school of course. But there is more to this boy alot more then meets the eye.

FDN here. I just want to say this Will be long. This will also be a TemaShika, NaruHina, OCOC, and a few more. Also i perfer not to have any sasusaku in it but you vote. After the fith ill tally the vote and desied if i should deicate one chapter to them....God it wil suck and i wont like writing it. Now then


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Two women were standing at a corner in a very nice masion. The wall were white with bamboo leafs on it. Each women wore white kimonos and bamboo leafs painted on it. It was easily seen that they were servents with there daily gossip about the rulers of the mansion.

"Can you belive it?" Said on of them.

"I know who would have thought HE was the one." Said the other one.

"I mean the master is real angry and we will suffer too. Oh that brat. He always made trouble around here."

"Can you belive he is his son. And now exiled from the clan forever!"

"I know even as a brat he is only 13!"

"Though he knew about it before him so he could've stoped it."

"Yea." The woman sighed.

"HEY! Get back to work breaks over."

"YES SIR!" The women yelled.

Unknown to them that a certain boy was behind a door where they were talking and heard them. "Hmph." All he said before walking away. He grabbed a coat with a hood. A white bag and strapped an odly shaped item covered in bandages to his back. He walked out the door and put a stick of pocky in his mouth. He then felt somthing hit his head. He looked up and it started to rain. "Sigh, this is just not a good day for me is it?" He said putting on his hood.

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5 years later!

A man was walking down a dirt road wile a small drizzle was pouring. He was wearing a cloak that cover his entire body and most of his head. It was the akatsuki cloak just without the red clouds. He was about 6'2'' and without the cloak he had a nice build. He was tanned and had short, black, spickey hair. He was wearing sunglasses and a odly shapped item was strapped to his back. There was a faint amount of smoke coming from the head area since he was smoking. As he looked ahead he found he was right infront of the village of the hidden leaf village. "Hmm, finnaly here." He said in a silent voice. He walked ahead and found two ANBU guarding the entrice.


"State your name and bussiness!" Said one of the ANBU.

"Straight to the point I see. Well anyway im here to see the Hoka-"

"The hokage dosent have time to listen to a wrothless thing like you!" said the other ANBU!

"Well arn't we a snooby bastared. What clan are you? Hyuuga? Must be there the only ones who act like annoying idiots who think they know everything." Said the man.

"Why you punk. You insulted the most powerfull clan in Konoha! Now you will die!" The man yelled the man as he charged at him. However, right before he could attack he was punched in the stomach and the man said one little thing before knocking him out,"Don't let anger make you blind in a battle." With that, he hit the man by the side of the head and sent him crashing into a tree. He then a few seals and the other one was captured in a genjutsu. "Anger, a easy win." He said before climbing the wall over the walls into Konoha, by the tree climbing technique.

The man raced to the Hokage tower, avoiding any stares he got. He soon was in the front door of the tower. He quickly walked up the tower and was infront of the door of the Hokage's office.

"What do you wa-" The gaurd was already knocked out from a roundhouse kick to the face as was the other one. (A/N:YEA! Roundhouse kick! Chuck Norris I thank you!)

He walked in and was staring a yellow hair shinobi who semmec to be in his early 30.(A/N:I dont know how old he was when he sealed the kyuubi but think he was in his 20s.)

"Uhhh, hello. WHo are you? I dont have a meeting right now so what do you need?"

"My name is Raz and I wish to become a Leaf Shinobi." The tanned man said firmly.

"Err, ok but I need to know why."

"I really don't have a home I have been traviling from 5 years." Raz said.



"OK but you need to do somthing."


"Well....." The yellow hair Hokage threw a red book that reads, 'Older Ninja Academy!'

"Welcome to Your senior year of Ninja High School!"

FDN:Well? How you like it?

09-04-2006, 02:37 AM
Oo.Boy i have to tell yeah......That was...THE MOST AWESOMEST FAN FICTION I HAVE EVER READED!.lol, i like it a lot^^I really hope you write more, its very good in other words..And oo!!I want to know when the next one comes out:3Plz pm!!

fox demon naruto
09-04-2006, 04:22 PM
yea sure ill do that

Ichiro Matsuchani
09-04-2006, 04:25 PM
I'm sorry, but I was distracted by all of the grammar mistakes and mispellings. The so called fighting scene was extremely vague.

Good idea, just no detail.

fox demon naruto
09-04-2006, 04:51 PM
I'm sorry, but I was distracted by all of the grammar mistakes and mispellings. The so called fighting scene was extremely vague.

Good idea, just no detail.
ehhh yea i know i have to work on my grammer.........my fighting will be more detail promise....though there wont be for a few chapters.....

09-04-2006, 07:07 PM
Yeah, there was some grammer and miss spelling, but still, very good..

fox demon naruto
09-05-2006, 03:27 PM
I'm sorry, but I was distracted by all of the grammar mistakes and mispellings. The so called fighting scene was extremely vague.

Good idea, just no detail.
oh and that really wasent a fight scene I just put that in there....there wont be some for awile....