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Predator
02-21-2005, 11:20 PM
This is my first fan fiction story..so I hope theres no grammar errors X3!

Fan Fiction: Sesshomaru’s New Beginning




Deep within the forest lies the powerful demon; Me, Sesshomaru…

”Lord Sesshomaru were are we going?” spoke Rin. I ignored her kept walking. Inuyasha has my Tetsusaiga; I will take and destroy what he cares most about that human Kagome then he will surrender his sword.

”Uhhhh. Lord Sesshomaru please tell us were we’re going.” Cried Jaken. I ignored Jaken and planned to tell them when we arrived.


“Inuyasha! Sit boy!” yelled Kagome. Inuyasha faceplanted into the ground, “Ouch what did you do that for Kagome!?” he murmured. Sango and Miroku started to laugh. “Maybe you should treat nature with more respect Inuyasha…” Miroku said laughing. Inuyasha slowly got up, “Hey it was just a weird statue with some flowers on it!” yelled Inuyasha. Kagome walked away with hesitation, “ I sense a demonic energy!” she shouted to everyone.


I saw Inuyasha and the others just beyond the horizon. “ It’s Sesshomaru…” Inuyasha said with hate. I stopped about three feet away from Inuyasha. I shouted to Jake and Rin, “ Jaken, Rin, please leave this area. I shall meet you later…little brother I’ve come not for the sword, but for the girl!”


I flew towards Kagome with great velocity. Inuyasha quickly unsheathed isTetsusaiga. “Your gonna have to get through me first!” yelled Inuyasha. I ignored his war cry and flew straight towards Kagome. “WINDSCAR!” Inuyasha shouted while unleashing his powerful attack! I flew straight pass the shaft of light.


I grabbed Kagome as I flew pass Inuyasha, afterwards leaping onto a tree. “Get out of the way Rin!!!” cried Inuyasha. I quickly looked back and saw Rin in front of the windscar. “Get away from the windscar Rin!” I shouted with all my might. That moment destroyed everything that meant anything to me…Rin was disintegrated by the windscar as watched helplessly. Tears ran through my eyes, for the first time in my life I cried…


(Well give me feedback say whatever you want to I want the truth!)

cool
02-22-2005, 11:29 AM
Go Sesshomaru

lil mongoose
10-12-2005, 03:00 PM
nice story

Bucky Katt
04-08-2006, 01:37 PM
Lots of errors. Sorry, but there was way too much. Not only that, but Sesshoumaru should be even more guilty because, technically, he killed Rin. He decided to stick to his plan rather than save Rin. -_-; There better be a sequel where it turns out I'm right. Or else. =/ No, j/k. But, seriously, I hate Sesshoumaru for not saving Rin. I mean, he's fast enough to grab Kagome, but not fast enough to save Rin? -.Shakes head.- Disappointing.

Sayoko <3

iMud
09-08-2006, 05:36 AM
the story was good but I..... um... didn't like its ending