Konoyubitomare - LAST ALLIANCE

[sakurawings]

Hi everyone, I'm new. :) I've been learning the Japanese language for the past few months and feel like I might be at the point where I can start translating lyrics...

So first up is a LAST ALLIANCE song that I always really liked, but could never find a translation for.

I definitely took some liberties with the english translation in trying to make sense of the Japanese words and my grammar is definitely not up to snuff, so let me know if you think I've deviated too much from the original meaning...

Konoyubitomare (Follow Me) - LAST ALLIANCE


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ8E99WCkY8

忍び込む街の雑音を掻き分け
shinobikomu machi no zatsuon o kakiwake
[Sneaking in through this town's dense noise]

踏み入れた街中の小さな公園のベンチ
fumiireta machinaka no chiisana kouen no benchi
[I came across this small park bench]

うざったそうにこちらを見ていた
[uzatta sou] ni [kochira o miteita]
[Looks like there's some sort of commotion]

先客の三毛猫に挨拶してそこに座る
[senkyaku no mikeneko] ni aisatsu shite soko ni suwaru
[Someone's cat greeted me and took a seat]

ふと見ると一人ぼっちで遊ぶ青いシャツの少年を
[futo miru to hitoribotchi] de [asobu aoi shatsu no shounen o]
[Suddenly I saw one young boy wearing a blue shirt playing]

赤い帽子の少年達が取り囲み
[akai boushi] no [shounentachi] ga [torikakomi]
[A group of boys with red hats crowded around]

やがて赤に青が混じり
[yagate] [aka ni ao ga majiri]
[Before long, red and blue were mixed togheter]

さらに大きく笑い声響く
[sara] ni [ookiku] [waraigoe] [hibiku]
[And laughter scattered across the field]

同じ空、同じ雲に
[onaji sora, onaji kumo ni]
[The same sky, the same clouds]

昼休みのチャイムが止み
hiruyasumi no chaimu ga yami
[Lunchbreak's chime is irresistible]

街の雑音ではいまだ続く
machi no zatsuon de wa imada tsuzuku
[This town's noise continues on]

蹴落とし落とされる
keotoshi otosareru
[I refuse to lose]

イス取りゲームは
isudori geemu wa
[This game of musical chairs]

「はい、一抜けた」
"hai, ichinuketa"
["Yes, there's only one way out"]

先客の寝息は続く
senkyaku no neiki wa tsuzuku
[Someone's sleeping breath continues on]

夢や希望、不安や絶望の種類は千差万別
[yume ya kibou], fuan ya zetsubou no shurui wa sensabanbetsu
[Dreams, hopes and anxious despairs are everywhere]

でも見上げりゃ同じ空、同じ雲
demo miagerya onaji sora, onaji kumo
[But to look up at the same sky, same clouds]

争いで得た優越感に居場所見つけてれば
[arasoi] de [eta yuuetsukan] ni ibasho mitsuketereba
[I've discovered a place above all conflict]

稲中読んでも笑えない
Inechuu yonde mo waraenai
[Reading Inechuu/comics and laughing]

追い抜かれたら拍手で見送ろう
oinukaretara hakushu de miokurou
[There's clapping as he runs off]

きっとそいつは僕より少し
kitto soitsu wa boku yori sukoshi
[That guy is definitely...]

歯を食いしばってきたんだろう
ha o kuishibatte kitan darou
[...gritting his teeth more than me, don't you think?]

いつまでも舌打ちして不平不満を重ねても
itsumademo shitauchi shite fuhei fuman o kasanete mo
[There's always been someone scolding, tsk-tsking constantly]

不公平は一つもない
fukouhei wa hitotsu mo nai
[But no one was there]

早く「この指とまれ」
hayaku "kono yubi tomare"
[Hurry up "follow me"]

赤と青が混じっていた頃
aka to ao ga majitteita koro
[Red and blue have mixed together]

無邪気にしていた追いかけっこなら
mujaki ni shiteita oikakekko nara
[That's the innocence of playing tag]

奪い合い、傷つけ合うような
ubaiai, kizutsukeau you na
[It's sort of like scrambling to hurt someone]

くだらない世界は変わるんだ
kudaranai sekai wa kawaru nda
[What a joke, since the world has changed]

願いが叶いますように
negai ga kanaimasu you ni
[Please grant my wish]

公園灯の形の影が西の空に消えかけてゆく
kouentou no katachi no kage ga nishi no sora ni kiekaketeyuku
[The park bench's shadow changes as the western sky shifts]

突き上げた人差し指に少年達の声が重なった
tsukiageta hitosashiyubi ni shounentachi no koe ga kasanatta
[Pointing their fingers up, the boys' voices overlap]

赤と青が混じっていた頃
aka to ao ga majitteita koro
[Red and blue have mixed together]

無邪気にしていた追いかけっこなら
mujaki ni shiteita oikakekko nara
[That's the innocence of playing tag]

奪い合い、傷つけ合うような
ubaiai, kizutsukeau you na
[It's sort of like scrambling to hurt someone]

くだらない世界は変わるんだ
kudaranai sekai wa kawaru nda
[What a joke, since the world has changed]

雑音はこの冴えない歌、シンガロングでもして掻き消そう
zatsuon wa kono saenai uta, shingarongu demo shite kakikesou
[This noise could have been a dark sing-along song, but that's been scratched out]

もし踏み外せない理由あるのなら先急げばいいさ
moshi fumihazusenai riyuu ga aru no nara saki isogeba ii sa
[Hurry to your goal, in case you lose your footing]

この空は変わらないよ
kono sora wa kawaranai yo
[This sky will never change]

だから「KONOYUBITOMARE」
dakara "KONOYUBITOMARE"
[Therefore "KONOYUBITOMARE"]

[animeyay]

I think you have a very good knowledge of Japanese. Just need more practice with translating. A major problem I'm seeing is that you tend to translate each line individually while overlooking the main idea of the whole stanza. This so-called line-by-line translation is not really the best way to go.

Btw, you should take the Japanese test on the site (and hopefully pass) and put up the translation for this song. =)



うざったそうにこちらを見ていた
先客の三毛猫に挨拶してそこに座る
As if I was too noisy, the cat already sitting on the bench glared at me,
so I greeted it, and then sat down right next to it.


さらに大きく笑い声響く
同じ空、同じ雲に
And then, loud laughter echoed
across the same sky, same clouds.


昼休みのチャイムが止み
街の雑音ではいまだ続く
The noon recess's bell chime stops,
but the town's noise continues on


「はい、一抜けた」
"Okay, peace out, guys."


先客の寝息は続く
The breathing of the sleeping cat continues on
* 先客 refers back to the cat from the beginning of the song


夢や希望、不安や絶望の種類は千差万別
でも見上げりゃ同じ空、同じ雲
There are countless types of dreams, hopes, anxieties, and despairs,
but when we look up, we see the same sky and same clouds


争いで得た優越感に居場所見つけてれば
稲中読んでも笑えない
If you can only climb to the top and achieve a sense of superiority by means of fighting,
then not even reading the Inechuu manga can make you laugh heartily.


追い抜かれたら拍手で見送ろう
きっとそいつは僕より少し
歯を食いしばってきたんだろう
If I should be overtaken by someone else, I would happily see him off with applause,
for surely, he was only able to do so
because he clenched his teeth harder than me and with more determination.


いつまでも舌打ちして不平不満を重ねても
不公平は一つもない
No matter how long you keep complaining about unfairness,
nothing is ever truly unfair in this world.


赤と青が混じっていた頃
無邪気にしていた追いかけっこなら
奪い合い、傷つけ合うような
くだらない世界は変わるんだ
When the red and blue have gathered together,
and innocently play a game of tag,
then even this stupid world,
where people steal from and hurt each other, will start to change.


公園灯の形の影が西の空に消えかけてゆく
The street light's shadow in the park slowly vanishes into the western sky


突き上げた人差し指に少年達の声が重なった
The boys' voices stacked up onto that raised index finger


雑音はこの冴えない歌、シンガロングでもして掻き消そう
Let's erase the noises by making them the chorus of this dull song


もし踏み外せない理由あるのなら先急げばいいさ
If you can't stop for a game, then feel free to run ahead.


だから「KONOYUBITOMARE」
So "THOSE WHO WANT TO PLAY, ASSEMBLE!"

[sakurawings]

Whoah, thanks for the input (and total revamp of my translation, haha)...I'll give the test a shot. :)