brolyx74
02-02-2011, 09:43 AM
Warning. There are errors with tense in this piece, but it is very dialogue heavy, so they should be minor issues. The only comments I have received on this piece is that it's too long -_-' and that I should try writing it as a script. Any comments you have would be widely appreciated.
Welcome to the New World
Two men are sitting in a bright room. The heat was on. They were separated by a long desk, covered in papers and little trinkets. The sun shined through the large window.
On one side, closest to the door, a young man sat. He has short black hair and a vibrant blue suit. A slight smile was on his face, though it was clear that he was incredibly nervous.
On the other side, an older man sat with his back to the window. He has gray hair, and a full black suit. Shirt, jacket, tie. A sly grin crossed his face as if he had just accepted a challenge and was working out how to deal with it in his head. Though he was easily over 60, he seemed to have a youthful air about himself.
“Welcome to my office. I’m sure you must be very surprised to be meeting me here. Well, it is true. I have chosen you to be my apprentice.” The old man spoke with a booming voice. To hear this news excited the young man.
“Thank you. Thank you very much. I can’t believe you chose me. This is fantastic. But, if I may ask, why did you choose me?” The man’s expression went from ecstatic to puzzled. After more thought, he couldn’t think of a single reason why he would have been chosen. He could think of three more qualified people to have been accepted, but couldn’t think of anything that would make him so special.
“Hmmm. I thought you might ask that. Yes, you are very average. You have not done anything spectacular in your career and you don’t have any special connections that could get you in. However, I chose you because you show promise. Unfortunately, promise alone is not good enough. There are many others who could succeed on their own, but you need me. There is no question about it, you need me. You could never survive in this world without me. You will be used and abused. Nobody in this world can be trusted. I can be trusted, but only by a few people. Nobody who has actually worked with me would ever trust me, but you could. You see, I have not long for this world, and I need to pass on every trick of mine on to an acceptable heir. Then, from searching through dozens of applications, I found you. I assure you, you can do great things. However, there are a few things that will get in your way, but please allow me to explain them. They are kindness, morality, modesty, and all things of the sort. Now, I don’t like repeating myself so if you need to take notes, go ahead. And I refuse to take breaks, so if you need to go to the restroom, do so now.” The man shifted from loud and enthusiastic to stern and serious. His mind was on track to reaching a personal goal and nothing could derail him.
“Y- yes sir. Excuse me, I’ll be right back.” The young man left the office. He walked three doors down the hall and found the door. Hey went in and made his way straight to the sink. He splashed cold water on his face. His dreams were finally coming true, or so it seemed. He was becoming increasingly nervous, but knew he had to calm down. He looked into the mirror. After repeating some self-assuring words to his reflection and making sure his hand was steady, he grabbed a paper towel, dried his face, and made his way back to his master’s office. He had much to learn, but thankfully he had found the man to teach him.
As the young man re-entered the room he noticed there were many changes. The desk had been nearly completely cleared. The long metal desk that separated the men was covered only by a calendar with nothing written on it and a legal pad with a pen on the side of the young man. The lights in the office were also dimmed. The curtains on the window were closed. The heat was turned off. He sat down, grabbed the legal pad and pen, and looked up expectantly, ready to take notes.
“Ok, do you have any burning questions before we start, or may I just begin now?” The old man looked restless to begin.
“I’m fine. Please explain everything you need to tell me. Don’t spare a detail. I’m eager to learn.” The young man said confidently. He looked at his mentor right in the eyes. As he looked intently, he saw nothing but black. There didn’t seem to be any white in his eyes anywhere.
“Good. Ok, well, as I said, there are a few things that will hold you back in the world of business. The biggest of these is morality. This is also the hardest one to overcome, for some people anyway. I feel as if you may have a problem overcoming it, but if you stick to your training, you should do just fine. When I say morality will hold you back, I mean that there may come a time when you have to take advantage of some people to get ahead. You may have to lie and cheat your way ahead, but remember, anyone else in this world who is serious about success will be doing the same. This is a dog eat dog world. It’s kill or be killed. You can’t hold anything back or you will be kicked to the curb like some mangy dog; which brings me to my next point: modesty.
“Modesty will hurt you. Now, I don’t mean you should be arrogant, but don’t downplay your achievements. You should be proud of anything you do that is of worth. If you do anything that could help you in the long run, flaunt it. And if something is a group effort, have no problem taking credit for any successes. However, if something fails, have no problem pushing the blame onto your coworkers. You should try to associate yourself with failure as little as possible.
“Now, onto kindness. This is something that will set you ahead, but can also hold you back. You should treat your superiors with kindness, whether it be real or fake doesn’t matter. You can’t go around being a jerk to those above you, but you can do whatever you need to do to those below you. When you are a boss, it is better to be firm and feared than it is to be kind and loved because soon, people will try to take advantage of you. Nobody will even consider anything that may get them on your bad side if you are strict. This is one of the major differences between this world and the outside world. In the outside world, people may value your kindness, and leave you if you’re a quote unquote bad person, but here, people have to respect you. They can’t abandon you without abandoning their job, and people are easily replaceable. And unlike the outside world, there can’t be an uprising among the lower class. For the most part, everyone is replaceable, and with the economy in its current condition, very few people would actually risk their jobs. Anyway, I’m beginning to ramble, so I’ll wrap this up now." The old man had spoken very quickly and without rest. He knew what he needed to say and said it as the young man hung on every word. The young man’s hand was cramping from taking so many notes. He was thankful that his mentor was finally stopping.
“Overall, just know that you need to use everything to your advantage: People, resources, bribes, everything. Nothing is off limits. If you can use it, use it. Don’t let your conscious run your life. For every one man like me, there will be at least 5 like you. It is my job to convert you over to my side. Were my words able to reach you?” The sincerity is his voice was clear.
“I understand your points, honestly, I do… But I’m not sure if I’d be able to just throw away my morals. I believe everyone should be treated with kindness, and I don’t think I could take credit for anyone else’s work. I’m just not that kind of person, but maybe there is some other advice you could give me.” The young man looked apologetically at his mentor. He wanted to be able to take the old man’s advice, but he had some serious problems with what he had been told.
“Yes, I knew you’d be a challenge for me. Fine, I’ll play along. Here is some other advice. In the world of business, everybody will watch out for you. Everyone will make sure you succeed. You won’t need to worry about anything because people will just take care of all of you problems, serving you the answers on a silver platter. You don’t need to actually do anything to get ahead either. Hard work is unnecessary. You won’t need to be honest or deceitful because you can just start out your life from the top. You don’t need to start out low and work your way up. No, of course not.” The old man began to get angry with his pupil. “Look, I’m trying to give you the secrets to success. You need to have an open mind about this. I don’t need you, but you need me. There are many other people who would kill to be in your position; are you really willing to throw this away?”
The young man was starting to be annoyed with his mentor. At first, he was excited for the opportunity to work with someone great, but now he was losing respect for this elder. “Yes, I am. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this. I can’t work with someone like you. I know you’re doing this for my own good, but I’m confident in myself. I’m sure I can succeed on my own merits without having to cheat or lie. Thank you for your time, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to be leaving now.” He stood up and went to the door. He looked back to see the old man stand up from his chair. He was angry.
“Fine, leave, but you’ll regret this. I opened myself to you. I tried to make you a success, but you turned me down. Nobody turns me down. Believe me, you will regret this. You won’t forget this day, and you will come crawling back to me. Maybe if you beg me I’ll take you back.” The old man brought a smug grin to his face. He was done trying, but was sure that his pupil would come back. Confidence exuded from his being. The young man simply scoffed, shut the door, and went back to his office.
*5 Weeks Later*
Two men are sitting in a dark room. The heat is off. They are only separated by a long metal desk. A calendar with nothing written on it lay there. Nothing else consumed any space.
On one side, closest to the door, a young man sat. Literally only 25, though he looked more like he was 56. He has patchy black hair and a dull gray suit. A depressed frown crossed his wrinkled, sullen face.
On the other side, an older man sat with his back to the window. Though he was quite up in age, he has a youthful air about himself. He is full of life and glee. He wore a full black suit. A big grin of victory crossed his face.
“Welcome back to my office. I’m sure you must very surprised to see me again. You were probably sure you’d have no chance of getting back on my good side. Well, to be honest, I still have not accepted you back. You must first prove yourself to me.” The old man’s smile became larger. He seemed to be getting happier and more enthusiastic, absorbing the life force of the young man who was becoming increasingly solemn.
“Thank you for at least meeting with me again. I should’ve listened to you from the start. I didn’t stand a chance out there. Nobody has listened to a single project I’ve proposed. Then, the one project that was a sure fire success was stolen right from my desk. When I complained about it they threatened to fire me. It seems like everyone is out to get me. Please, I need your help.” The young man was on the verge of weeping. He had been through so much stress and turmoil.
“Of course you need my help. I told you from the beginning that you needed me. It was childish of you to think you could get by on your own. Now, you still need to prove yourself to me. Excuse me for a moment, I‘ll be thinking of what you can do while I’m gone.” The old man got up from his seat and walked out of the room.
While the old man was gone, the young man stared down at his lap. He was grateful for the second chance, but was afraid of what he had to do. He picked his head up and looked around the room. It was just as dark as he had remembered it. He looked intently at the room when he noticed something. The calendar on the desk seemed to bulge up about an inch. The man stood up and walked behind the desk. He lifted the calendar and found a manila envelope. He quickly snatched it up and opened it. Inside, he found the project of his that had been stolen, along with a note and a check. The note thanked the young man’s mentor for such great work and apologized for only giving him a small bonus. He looked at the check. The $5,000 check was already signed. He was appalled at what could be considered a small bonus.
Steps could be heard from outside the room. They were approaching the door. Quickly, the young man went back to his chair with the folder under his jacket. He sat down trying to conceal his anger while the old man opened the door and came back in.
While walking back to his chair, the old man looked at the calendar for a few seconds. He smiled. “Congratulations, you passed. I’m glad you could finally start working from a business perspective.”
“You did this? You stole my work? Wait, have been responsible for everything? Have you been the one sabotaging everything for me?” The young man was shaking. He was feeling a mixture of anger and sadness.
“Of course it was me. I told you you’d regret turning me down. Even worse, I told you not to trust anyone. That is one of the most important things to remember in business. Everyone is out to get you.”
“But you said I could trust you.” The young man was still shaking. His jaw dropped.
“NOBODY CAN BE TRUSTED! NO EXCEPTIONS! GOT IT?” The old man stood up screaming. He wasn’t going to let his message slip passed his student again. Not this time. “I’m sorry, but even though you have proven yourself to me, it’s too late. Today is my last day working here. I’m retiring. You should have seen this coming. I told you I didn’t have much time left.” The old man opened the window shade and stared outside, chuckling.
“I’m too late? No, I can’t be. What am I going to do now?” The young man stare turned blank. His spirit was broken. Hope was fleeting from his eyes while despair began to settle in. His whites of his eyes were slowly darkening. Suddenly, something deep inside him changed. He watched the old man stare out the window. “No, I understand. You have to leave. I still have my notes from our first meeting. I’m sure those will be enough to go off of. Thank you for meeting with me today. I’ll be on my way.” The young man got up and left the office.
“That’s one more to my side. I’m glad I was finally able to find my replacement, but he sure was a difficult one. Either way, I cracked him.” The old man sat back down at his desk and cackled to himself.
*40 Years Later*
Two men are sitting in a bright room. The heat was on. They were separated by a long desk, covered in papers and little trinkets. The sun shined through the large window. On one side, closest to the door, a nervous young man sat. On the other side sat an old man with his back to the window. The old man stood up. “Welcome to my office. You have much to learn if you are going to become my apprentice. Believe me when I say this. You need me, and everything I tell you will be for your benefit.”
Welcome to the New World
Two men are sitting in a bright room. The heat was on. They were separated by a long desk, covered in papers and little trinkets. The sun shined through the large window.
On one side, closest to the door, a young man sat. He has short black hair and a vibrant blue suit. A slight smile was on his face, though it was clear that he was incredibly nervous.
On the other side, an older man sat with his back to the window. He has gray hair, and a full black suit. Shirt, jacket, tie. A sly grin crossed his face as if he had just accepted a challenge and was working out how to deal with it in his head. Though he was easily over 60, he seemed to have a youthful air about himself.
“Welcome to my office. I’m sure you must be very surprised to be meeting me here. Well, it is true. I have chosen you to be my apprentice.” The old man spoke with a booming voice. To hear this news excited the young man.
“Thank you. Thank you very much. I can’t believe you chose me. This is fantastic. But, if I may ask, why did you choose me?” The man’s expression went from ecstatic to puzzled. After more thought, he couldn’t think of a single reason why he would have been chosen. He could think of three more qualified people to have been accepted, but couldn’t think of anything that would make him so special.
“Hmmm. I thought you might ask that. Yes, you are very average. You have not done anything spectacular in your career and you don’t have any special connections that could get you in. However, I chose you because you show promise. Unfortunately, promise alone is not good enough. There are many others who could succeed on their own, but you need me. There is no question about it, you need me. You could never survive in this world without me. You will be used and abused. Nobody in this world can be trusted. I can be trusted, but only by a few people. Nobody who has actually worked with me would ever trust me, but you could. You see, I have not long for this world, and I need to pass on every trick of mine on to an acceptable heir. Then, from searching through dozens of applications, I found you. I assure you, you can do great things. However, there are a few things that will get in your way, but please allow me to explain them. They are kindness, morality, modesty, and all things of the sort. Now, I don’t like repeating myself so if you need to take notes, go ahead. And I refuse to take breaks, so if you need to go to the restroom, do so now.” The man shifted from loud and enthusiastic to stern and serious. His mind was on track to reaching a personal goal and nothing could derail him.
“Y- yes sir. Excuse me, I’ll be right back.” The young man left the office. He walked three doors down the hall and found the door. Hey went in and made his way straight to the sink. He splashed cold water on his face. His dreams were finally coming true, or so it seemed. He was becoming increasingly nervous, but knew he had to calm down. He looked into the mirror. After repeating some self-assuring words to his reflection and making sure his hand was steady, he grabbed a paper towel, dried his face, and made his way back to his master’s office. He had much to learn, but thankfully he had found the man to teach him.
As the young man re-entered the room he noticed there were many changes. The desk had been nearly completely cleared. The long metal desk that separated the men was covered only by a calendar with nothing written on it and a legal pad with a pen on the side of the young man. The lights in the office were also dimmed. The curtains on the window were closed. The heat was turned off. He sat down, grabbed the legal pad and pen, and looked up expectantly, ready to take notes.
“Ok, do you have any burning questions before we start, or may I just begin now?” The old man looked restless to begin.
“I’m fine. Please explain everything you need to tell me. Don’t spare a detail. I’m eager to learn.” The young man said confidently. He looked at his mentor right in the eyes. As he looked intently, he saw nothing but black. There didn’t seem to be any white in his eyes anywhere.
“Good. Ok, well, as I said, there are a few things that will hold you back in the world of business. The biggest of these is morality. This is also the hardest one to overcome, for some people anyway. I feel as if you may have a problem overcoming it, but if you stick to your training, you should do just fine. When I say morality will hold you back, I mean that there may come a time when you have to take advantage of some people to get ahead. You may have to lie and cheat your way ahead, but remember, anyone else in this world who is serious about success will be doing the same. This is a dog eat dog world. It’s kill or be killed. You can’t hold anything back or you will be kicked to the curb like some mangy dog; which brings me to my next point: modesty.
“Modesty will hurt you. Now, I don’t mean you should be arrogant, but don’t downplay your achievements. You should be proud of anything you do that is of worth. If you do anything that could help you in the long run, flaunt it. And if something is a group effort, have no problem taking credit for any successes. However, if something fails, have no problem pushing the blame onto your coworkers. You should try to associate yourself with failure as little as possible.
“Now, onto kindness. This is something that will set you ahead, but can also hold you back. You should treat your superiors with kindness, whether it be real or fake doesn’t matter. You can’t go around being a jerk to those above you, but you can do whatever you need to do to those below you. When you are a boss, it is better to be firm and feared than it is to be kind and loved because soon, people will try to take advantage of you. Nobody will even consider anything that may get them on your bad side if you are strict. This is one of the major differences between this world and the outside world. In the outside world, people may value your kindness, and leave you if you’re a quote unquote bad person, but here, people have to respect you. They can’t abandon you without abandoning their job, and people are easily replaceable. And unlike the outside world, there can’t be an uprising among the lower class. For the most part, everyone is replaceable, and with the economy in its current condition, very few people would actually risk their jobs. Anyway, I’m beginning to ramble, so I’ll wrap this up now." The old man had spoken very quickly and without rest. He knew what he needed to say and said it as the young man hung on every word. The young man’s hand was cramping from taking so many notes. He was thankful that his mentor was finally stopping.
“Overall, just know that you need to use everything to your advantage: People, resources, bribes, everything. Nothing is off limits. If you can use it, use it. Don’t let your conscious run your life. For every one man like me, there will be at least 5 like you. It is my job to convert you over to my side. Were my words able to reach you?” The sincerity is his voice was clear.
“I understand your points, honestly, I do… But I’m not sure if I’d be able to just throw away my morals. I believe everyone should be treated with kindness, and I don’t think I could take credit for anyone else’s work. I’m just not that kind of person, but maybe there is some other advice you could give me.” The young man looked apologetically at his mentor. He wanted to be able to take the old man’s advice, but he had some serious problems with what he had been told.
“Yes, I knew you’d be a challenge for me. Fine, I’ll play along. Here is some other advice. In the world of business, everybody will watch out for you. Everyone will make sure you succeed. You won’t need to worry about anything because people will just take care of all of you problems, serving you the answers on a silver platter. You don’t need to actually do anything to get ahead either. Hard work is unnecessary. You won’t need to be honest or deceitful because you can just start out your life from the top. You don’t need to start out low and work your way up. No, of course not.” The old man began to get angry with his pupil. “Look, I’m trying to give you the secrets to success. You need to have an open mind about this. I don’t need you, but you need me. There are many other people who would kill to be in your position; are you really willing to throw this away?”
The young man was starting to be annoyed with his mentor. At first, he was excited for the opportunity to work with someone great, but now he was losing respect for this elder. “Yes, I am. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this. I can’t work with someone like you. I know you’re doing this for my own good, but I’m confident in myself. I’m sure I can succeed on my own merits without having to cheat or lie. Thank you for your time, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to be leaving now.” He stood up and went to the door. He looked back to see the old man stand up from his chair. He was angry.
“Fine, leave, but you’ll regret this. I opened myself to you. I tried to make you a success, but you turned me down. Nobody turns me down. Believe me, you will regret this. You won’t forget this day, and you will come crawling back to me. Maybe if you beg me I’ll take you back.” The old man brought a smug grin to his face. He was done trying, but was sure that his pupil would come back. Confidence exuded from his being. The young man simply scoffed, shut the door, and went back to his office.
*5 Weeks Later*
Two men are sitting in a dark room. The heat is off. They are only separated by a long metal desk. A calendar with nothing written on it lay there. Nothing else consumed any space.
On one side, closest to the door, a young man sat. Literally only 25, though he looked more like he was 56. He has patchy black hair and a dull gray suit. A depressed frown crossed his wrinkled, sullen face.
On the other side, an older man sat with his back to the window. Though he was quite up in age, he has a youthful air about himself. He is full of life and glee. He wore a full black suit. A big grin of victory crossed his face.
“Welcome back to my office. I’m sure you must very surprised to see me again. You were probably sure you’d have no chance of getting back on my good side. Well, to be honest, I still have not accepted you back. You must first prove yourself to me.” The old man’s smile became larger. He seemed to be getting happier and more enthusiastic, absorbing the life force of the young man who was becoming increasingly solemn.
“Thank you for at least meeting with me again. I should’ve listened to you from the start. I didn’t stand a chance out there. Nobody has listened to a single project I’ve proposed. Then, the one project that was a sure fire success was stolen right from my desk. When I complained about it they threatened to fire me. It seems like everyone is out to get me. Please, I need your help.” The young man was on the verge of weeping. He had been through so much stress and turmoil.
“Of course you need my help. I told you from the beginning that you needed me. It was childish of you to think you could get by on your own. Now, you still need to prove yourself to me. Excuse me for a moment, I‘ll be thinking of what you can do while I’m gone.” The old man got up from his seat and walked out of the room.
While the old man was gone, the young man stared down at his lap. He was grateful for the second chance, but was afraid of what he had to do. He picked his head up and looked around the room. It was just as dark as he had remembered it. He looked intently at the room when he noticed something. The calendar on the desk seemed to bulge up about an inch. The man stood up and walked behind the desk. He lifted the calendar and found a manila envelope. He quickly snatched it up and opened it. Inside, he found the project of his that had been stolen, along with a note and a check. The note thanked the young man’s mentor for such great work and apologized for only giving him a small bonus. He looked at the check. The $5,000 check was already signed. He was appalled at what could be considered a small bonus.
Steps could be heard from outside the room. They were approaching the door. Quickly, the young man went back to his chair with the folder under his jacket. He sat down trying to conceal his anger while the old man opened the door and came back in.
While walking back to his chair, the old man looked at the calendar for a few seconds. He smiled. “Congratulations, you passed. I’m glad you could finally start working from a business perspective.”
“You did this? You stole my work? Wait, have been responsible for everything? Have you been the one sabotaging everything for me?” The young man was shaking. He was feeling a mixture of anger and sadness.
“Of course it was me. I told you you’d regret turning me down. Even worse, I told you not to trust anyone. That is one of the most important things to remember in business. Everyone is out to get you.”
“But you said I could trust you.” The young man was still shaking. His jaw dropped.
“NOBODY CAN BE TRUSTED! NO EXCEPTIONS! GOT IT?” The old man stood up screaming. He wasn’t going to let his message slip passed his student again. Not this time. “I’m sorry, but even though you have proven yourself to me, it’s too late. Today is my last day working here. I’m retiring. You should have seen this coming. I told you I didn’t have much time left.” The old man opened the window shade and stared outside, chuckling.
“I’m too late? No, I can’t be. What am I going to do now?” The young man stare turned blank. His spirit was broken. Hope was fleeting from his eyes while despair began to settle in. His whites of his eyes were slowly darkening. Suddenly, something deep inside him changed. He watched the old man stare out the window. “No, I understand. You have to leave. I still have my notes from our first meeting. I’m sure those will be enough to go off of. Thank you for meeting with me today. I’ll be on my way.” The young man got up and left the office.
“That’s one more to my side. I’m glad I was finally able to find my replacement, but he sure was a difficult one. Either way, I cracked him.” The old man sat back down at his desk and cackled to himself.
*40 Years Later*
Two men are sitting in a bright room. The heat was on. They were separated by a long desk, covered in papers and little trinkets. The sun shined through the large window. On one side, closest to the door, a nervous young man sat. On the other side sat an old man with his back to the window. The old man stood up. “Welcome to my office. You have much to learn if you are going to become my apprentice. Believe me when I say this. You need me, and everything I tell you will be for your benefit.”