Tantei Yowane Haku no Yuuutsu -- help translating

[sugarburn]

So… apparently I have a weakness for upbeat novelty songs. I tried my best to work out the English for "Tantei Yowane Haku no Yuuutsu" (The Melancholy of Detective Haku Yowane).

It's really too much for me, even though a translation by Azuralunar (http://azuralunar.blogspot.com/2011/01/melancholy-of-detective-haku-yowane.html) already exists. That's because my abilities in Japanese are equal to epsilon.

Like Haku, I don't let incompetence interfere with my dreams. :rolleyes:

These song lyics are so lengthy that it's worth something to get a draft done -- any draft. Maybe somebody qualified can repair the errors and add another brick to the wall of Vocaloid amusements.

I hope it can happen. Here's a nice 480p rip of the animation on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Bjx4L8gKdg).

TX/sugarburn


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Kanji & Romaji by xRiikox
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See <http://www.animelyrics.com/doujin/vocaloid/tanteiyowanehaku.htm (http://http://www.animelyrics.com/doujin/vocaloid/tanteiyowanehaku.htm)>

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English
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My name is Haku Yowane
A humble, normal detective
In a small office on the edge of town
Sneaking about through the business of daily life
Someday, like a sleeping Gorō
I want to solve a case
But that first case isn't coming my way
So it's all completely USELESS!

Ah -- people are relying on me to
Investigate infidelity and search for cats
Ah -- someday, I’ll
Piercingly, roundly, Daddy-o, with a bang
Solve that unsolved case
My smiling face will grace the newspapers
YAY! :D

Suppose I happen to win the sweepstakes
And I get to go on a free tour
Suppose the setting is an island mansion
I am welcomed by the suspicious host
Suppose suddenly a typhoon hits
And you can't get through on the phone
Suppose the participants are all together somehow
In various disturbing behaviors
Suppose the island has a legendary treasure
Suppose suddenly a game starts up
Suppose the participants are in a dangerous mood
Suppose the atmosphere is in the worst state
Suppose [OMITTED], suppose [OMITTED]
Suppose [OMITTED], suppose [OMITTED]
Suppose I suddenly wake up the next morning
And the host has been killed in his room

Ah -- cases like this do occur
Fantasy philosophy necessary proposition
Ah -- someday, I'll
Looking to find a fishy case
Firmly, shrewdly
Await my chance
If I come home safely, I'm getting married
Hatsu: lol

My condolences, desu. My condolences, desu
My condolences, desu, desu, desu
Desu, Death, Death
Death. My condolences, desu. My condolences, desu
Desu. Desu, Death, Death

Ah -- I've found the Death Flag
A straight-man all alone, the victim is confirmed
Ah -- someday, I'll
Statistics and advanced intelligence
Solve the case beforehand, making free use of
My grasp of criminal psychology
Yes! ☆

"What, I'm fine. I'll catch up to you soon." (Death Flag!)
"Oh, someone ought to be along any time, now…" (Death Flag!)
"You did?... Heheh, serves you right, lol" (Death Flag!)
"I don't like this place! I'm going back to my room!" (Death Flag!)
"I have a present from the Underworld!" (Death Flag!)
"W-what was that? Just the cat, or…" (Death Flag!)
"M-money!! I want money! Plenty of it!" (Death Flag!)
"Magnificent! I've created the supreme monster!" (Death Flag!)

Ah -- this world is so unreasonable
The streets are overflowing and writhing in agony
Ah -- someday, I'll
Go into the entertainment industry as a professional detective
Have a magazine series that'll sell a million
Solve cases on network TV
KYA ///

My condolences, desu. My condolences, desu
My condolences, desu, desu, desu
Desu, Death, Death
Death. My condolences, desu. My condolences, desu
Desu. Desu, Death, Death

Ah -- anyway, every day is like this
Life is no fun at all
Ah -- someday, I'll
Standard tactics, momentary arrangements, disregard them
Method and reason, I don't like the connection
The direction of aim cannot be predicted
The whole audience -- deceivers and cheats
TABOO, it's now or never, no whining allowed
This is what you could call my rule
That story is just what I wanted

My condolences, desu. My condolences, desu
My condolences, desu, desu, desu
Desu, Death, Death
Death. My condolences, desu. My condolences, desu
Desu. Desu, Death, Death

Police activity with the power of science
Enter the detective, unable to close the case
The first victim, suddenly the detective
Directly, the case is unsolved
After all, the criminal goes uncaught
"Our case still, from now on!"
The perfect crime is established
The case being undiscovered, it's peaceful -- how sweet!

Ah -- why did it end like this?
The detective business is no picnic
Ah -- someday, I'll
Piercingly, roundly, Daddy-o, with a bang
Solve that unsolved case
Looking to find a fishy case
Firmly, shrewdly
Await my chance
Go into the entertainment industry as a professional detective
Have a magazine series that'll sell a million
This is the story that was just what I wanted?

It was impossible

[ Silent Titles -- commentary following the song ]

Now, here is a problem.
This song is really just a story. Why a song?
The underlying significance, or ????<just no clue>????
What happened to Detective Haku, what's it mean?
Everyone, let's try inference.
If you understood the real meaning,
Maybe you are a good detective.

[ END ]

[animeyay]

First I was afraid someone's gonna romanize the song, and Riichan did.
Then I was afraid someone's gonna try to translate the song, and you did... =.=

There's a reason I never tackled this song--it's just tooooooo long, not necessarily hard.

But first...do you want the translation credited to you at all? If so, you'd need to pass the Japanese test first. But if you don't care about the credit, I can certainly just translate it. I just never got the motivation to sit down for 3 hours and work through this songXD

[sugarburn]

m(_ _)m

Know what you mean, it's around 120 lines. I pasted it into Excel. On the other hand, we have proof that the whole thing can be powered through in under 04:40.

No obligation... but on behalf of the English-speaking world, the synthetic mice on meth are 2X enjoyable when you can follow along.

No need of trans credit, thanks. One day I might tackle the Japanese test, but would not really want to be certified by any test that I could pass.

AFN/sb

[Rei]

...Now the melancholy of animeyay is complete. ^^"

[animeyay]

TRANSLATION COMPLETE (http://www.animelyrics.com/doujin/vocaloid/tanteiyowanehaku.htm)!

Thus, my melancholy is now complete. I evaded this song for months, but in the end I was still the one who had to translate it. Fate is a very interesting thing, lol. Gotta admit, though, I actually enjoyed translating this song.

I just started from scratch, hope you don't mind. ^^ I figured it'd be faster if I just go ahead and come with my own translation. Azuralunar's translation isn't bad, but a good number of the lines have been interpreted wrong/inaccurately in her(?) translation. Nevertheless, I still need to give her credit for being willing to translate this long-@$$ song in the first place! XD

[sugarburn]

Thus, my melancholy is now complete.
Yes, but the Internets are now a better place. Thanks so much for taking this on!!

I just started from scratch, hope you don't mind.
Can't possibly mind, I enjoyed wrestling with it and your version is much, much richer. Plus, you know -- not confused.

Instead of "Investigate if he's infidel," how about "Investigate if he's unfaithful?" Because "infidel" does mean "unfaithful one," but is actually a noun form with overwhelming religious connotations (none of them much fun).

As you see, I can't really resist putting my oar in. Thanks again for the awesome!

AFN/sb

[animeyay]

Instead of "Investigate if he's infidel," how about "Investigate if he's unfaithful?" Because "infidel" does mean "unfaithful one," but is actually a noun form with overwhelming religious connotations (none of them much fun).
Thank you for bringing this up. I actually spent like 3 minutes over which word I should use there for "uwaki". I probably chose "infidel" because it sounded even more negative than "unfaithful", but yea it does have a religious connotation. K, I'll make the change.

[sugarburn]

=== Abiding love for the English language ===


THE GF:
I need to talk to you. You are an infidel.

ME:
So… that means we can't be together in Paradise. I guess it's Las Vegas for the wedding, then? Please don't behead me.


~.~.~.~. versus ~.~.~.~.


THE GF:
I need to talk to you. About your infidelity.

ME:
Wait, wait -- I swear, Roxanne means nothing to me!!

THE GF:
What Roxanne?!! I'm talking about Hiroko.

ME:
WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT HIROKO?!!


lololol/sb

[animeyay]

yay for people who actually care and give feedback! =D

the reason I had some difficulty deciding between infidel and unfaithful was that neither of them really sounded natural to me, or at least neither of them flowed well in that sentence. and today just now, lo and behold, the phrase "having an affair" suddenly popped into my head! "Investigate if he's having an affair" rings the best in my opinion. funny how the more song I translate, the more difficult it becomes for me to recall some very simple words/phrases... =.=

[AzureDark]

fix'd

funny how the more Sound Horizon I translate, the more difficult it becomes for me to recall some very simple words/phrases... =.=

[animeyay]

whyyyyyyyyyyyyy...? >.<
why must you remind me I still have a whole second half of that album to finish!

[sugarburn]

http://i420.photobucket.com/albums/pp282/z-OMB/AFDC/match.png

Urgh... but this one at least is over and well over.
Back to work, you.
/sb

[AzureDark]

whyyyyyyyyyyyyy...? >.<
why must you remind me I still have a whole second half of that album to finish!
Because someone's waiting for you to t/l the 8th track or something :o